Sunday, July 31, 2011



I am planning on changing over to Wordpress, so if you are interested in following our journey, please come and join me over at DreamBelieve

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Local Celebrity

So the news is out.

A local magazine is going to do a 4 part series on the husband and I about our trip and resulting bub (fingers crossed).

I thought, OK, this is OK, but now they want to come over and take photo's of the husband and I, now that feels hard.

I got through the probing questions about the start of our relationship, when I realised there was a problem with our fertility, went through all of our testing and procedures. It was feeling really hard for a while there, nearly wanted to pull the plug, but pushed through.

I am a little freaked out that there will be a photographer in my home tomorrow.

On better new, mum will be released from rehab on Tuesday, that sounds wrong doesn't it, released, sounds like she is getting out of jail or substance rehab.

So not sure if I told you that I had my hair all cut off? Well I did, and now it also is a different colour, I have gone lighter, it will be even lighter by the time I head to the States. Its funny because of the photo shoot, I had originally given the magazine a photo of my long dark hair, which was curled for my nieces wedding. I thought I was smart because then no one would recognise me in the magazine, but now they will get current photo's, not happy Jan :(

So, there is 27 days until we leave! Its now coming really quickly and really becoming a reality....

I'm still a bit perplexed about what to take with us, don't know whether to bring allot of clothes or not, since I might want to buy some clothes in the States, whether to bring much in the way of shampoo and conditioner, since it will weigh allot in our cases to bring enough toiletries for 5 weeks, I think I will just bring a small bottle of each and buy the rest in the States. All these little things is what is swimming in my head at the moment.

My body also is giving me some grief. If your a guy, this is where you stop reading.

I am on the pill to get my cycle where the clinic needs it. In doing so, I am skipping a period and continuing to take the active pills. Well my body is saying, no, I want to give you this period, you must take it. So at the moment, I am suffering the cramps but to date, no period as yet.

I don't know if this has been the same experience that others have had, would be interesting tohear from anyone reading who has gone through similar experience.

Well have to go for now, well check back maybe after the photo shoot tomorrow. EEEERK

Saturday, July 23, 2011

5 weekends

That's all we have until our trip!

It is amazing, I can't believe how fast its moving. We have booked all of our hotels, the last one changed to a Hollywood hotel. I am so nervous about flying, not looking forward to that side of it but I am excited about the food I have read on allot of menus.

Last night I went out and got my hair colour changed and had the chop. That should make for interesting customs conversation trying to get out of Australia and into LAX.

I guess the count down will start soon, I will have to make some lists, start getting things together for our cases.

I have been really stressed about work, my mother, the trip and 'the husbands' business. All things are getting better but I can't help but try to control everything. I know that I can't be everything to everyone but this is what I have been in a long time, its hard to stop.

Well I have the in laws coming for Indian tonight, will drop some off to mum as well, she loves Indian food. Mum has moved over to rehab now, she has been there for about 6 days now, not sure exactly how long she will be there for, but as long as she can start to walk by herself and get some of her Independence back again, it will be worth it.

My dogs have all had their won issues as well, Becky's heart murmer is getting worse, I have her on up to 5 tablets a day, now I have started to cook and give her low sodium food in a hope that it will help, it doesn't appear to be helping yet :( Molly had issues with her ears, lucky the medication fixed it, we thought she may have had to undergo surgery but lucky she didn't. Humphrey, well he has been Humphrey, no issues really to speak of with him, luck is on my side with him :)

Well better make a move to get this place ready for the in laws.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Nothing new but nothing old either

I'm finding it difficult to remove blogs from my blog list, even those that haven't blogged in months. Sometimes is just too hard to let go, like Big Al or Polar's Mom.... I keep hoping that they will come back but they still don't seem to be anywhere, maybe they have gotten on with their real lives??

I have finally started to prepare for our trip to the States. Since I am travelling all the way to another country, I didn't want to leave anything to chance, so I have started the Pill a month early. God I hate the Pill, it makes me feel blah, sick, blah. So I am taking it at night and hoping I can get through the most of it through my sleep. Its not working.

I have been really stressed of late. The Husband is now working for himself full time from home. It is soo hard to leave every day knowing he is still in bed and is home all day while I'm at a work place :(

Work has been stressing me. Its been really busy because we have been short of staff and I am having to help where I don't want to be, making me angry :(

Mum is still in the hospital, that is taking its toll on me, mentally and physically :(

But did you know that there is only 44 days until we fly out to LA :)

The Husband has started dreaming about us having twins, a boy and a girl. He then goes on to tell me that as soon as the babies are born, I want to go back for more treatment/babies!! Can you even imagine?? I told you we have great vibes about this treatment :)

My new bathing suit has arrived and I am very excited. We are still looking into things to do while we are there, The Husband would like to travel to NYC to attend Ground Zero and pay our respects, however we have to fit in with the clinic so these things might have to be looked at once we arrive and get a schedule set in stone.

Anywho, best be making a move, I'm meant to be at work, doing work stuff ;)

Sunday, July 03, 2011

nothing really to title this as...

As per usual, I am back and forth to the hospital, mum got so sick this time so suddenly that she was blinded, literally blinded. She had gotten up in the morning to go to the toilet and could no longer see! By the time she got to the hospital, she had NO blood pressure at all. Once they got her stabilised, she spent a few days in ICU, went to a unit within the hospital however her breathing again got really laboured, nearly went back to ICU, but mum resisted so they dealt with her in the unit. Blood sugars continued to drop every day, one ICU nurse told me that its concerning that her body might be shutting down. It is still hard for me to believe because she is still talking to me.

I am still the point of contact so everyone is calling/txting me to find out what is happening, I just want to shout that if people went to see her, they would know how she is. I work full time but still manage to see her every day. They don't call her because they would prefer her direct number which I can't give them, its obviously to hard to call through reception.

I am really worried that one of these days, coming soon will be the end. I don't know what will be worse, her going before we leave for the US, or something happening while we are in the US, what will I do without her in my life. She is my best friend. 'The Husband' has even asked me if I want to be told if something happens while we are away. I don't know how to answer that question.

Weight loss is not happening, I don't have enough hours/minutes in the day to be thinking about what I am or not eating, allot of the time its just take out on the way home from the hospital.

'The Husband' is no longer employed, causing me more stress, he is basically working for himself however it doesn't make me feel secure. I'm worried about our trip to the US, will we have enough cash. I just don't know anymore. I am visualising our trip, I can see it, I can taste it but do I really believe we will be there?? Yes and No.