Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Mum's home

So glad to be able to say 'mum's home'

Mum was released today from hospital and to say she was ready is an understatement. She actually got up at 5.30am and got herself dressed and waited all day for the doctors to come around and release, just had to wait for one more test before they would release her. But let me tell you, if they hadn't let her go home, I hate to think what would have happened .................. to them!

Also we went to see DHS tonight. I will go and see a hypnotherapist just to amuse them, I told them that I don't believe that there is anything wrong with me but then keep on refusing to believe me. It will help me with my fears and also losing weight so why not.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Not much has changed over here. Mum's still in hospital, but she did get a day pass for the hospital Christmas day. I think it made her realise how sick she was because she was exhausted.

My ankle is hurting like a m*ther F*cker but I don't know why. Think I might be getting oldish....

Brought me some new runners yesterday, however finding it hard to wear them or anything because of the ankle.

Nothing else to report so I will leave it there
Mum's still in hospital, but she is out of danger. Its going to be a few weeks before she's home so the next update I will give is her coming home from the hospital I hope unless something dramatic happens.

Onto the Adoption route ......

Well I don't think all is well on this front. I got a call and the head of the department stated she didn't want to talk about it over the phone. Not a good start. Then a few days later I received a copy of the report from the counsellor. I was devastated to say the least. I was gob smacked. Daz doesn't think its as bad as I think it is but I have a feeling this may be the end of the road for us adopting. I have to wait to see the agency, has to be before the 8th of January as the head is away after that date for 4 weeks. Mind you she has had the report since the 4th of November but only called me on about the 18th of December. Love Government Departments ............. NOT

So my next thoughts turned back to IVF. The next cycle could be March but that is also when Daz goes in for his heart operation.

Christmas day I also made 'the offer' to the pregnant niece in-law. She is thinking about it, although she said she would do it for free, but I know once she speaks with her money hungry mother it will probably change. I'm really happy to pay anything. Then we also have to figure out how we can make it official that we are the parents if we went ahead.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

A little update

Mum's still in the hospital but after 2 trips in Intensive Care, I am glad to say she has been in a ward for a few days now and seems to be coming on really well.

Today we walked to the cafe which was a good walk for her.

Still no sign of when she will be released, each time they do a test they seem to find something new. Her blood sugar seems to be stabilising which is great but she is back on IV antibiotics and they have restricted her fluids to 1500ml a day which includes 600ml for the IV and flush. She is not impressed.

The nurse told me today that if she is off the IV she may be able to have day leave to come home for Christmas day so that would be good. Have to catch the doctor when he is there to find out.

The wound that the nurse created on the back of her leg seems to be healing and not leaking a great deal of fluid any longer which is good as I could see a new infection coming on.

She now has pneumonia, actually that doctor stated that she has 'raging pneumonia', which is why she is back on the IV.She has made such a great improvement from 2 weeks ago, I can't believe I was nearly going to have to say goodbye to my mum forever on that Tuesday night.

I'm not ready for that and don't know if or when I will ever be ready for that farewell.

Thanks again everyone for your well wishes and prayers.

A little update

Mum's still in the hospital but after 2 trips in Intensive Care, I am glad to say she has been in a ward for a few days now and seems to be coming on really well.

Today we walked to the cafe which was a good walk for her.

Still no sign of when she will be released, each time they do a test they seem to find something new. Her blood sugar seems to be stabilising which is great but she is back on IV antibiotics and they have restricted her fluids to 1500ml a day which includes 600ml for the IV and flush. She is not impressed.

The nurse told me today that if she is off the IV she may be able to have day leave to come home for Christmas day so that would be good. Have to catch the doctor when he is there to find out.

The wound that the nurse created on the back of her leg seems to be healing and not leaking a great deal of fluid any longer which is good as I could see a new infection coming on.

She now has pneumonia, actually that doctor stated that she has 'raging pneumonia', which is why she is back on the IV.

She has made such a great improvement from 2 weeks ago, I can't believe I was nearly going to have to say goodbye to my mum forever on that Tuesday night. I'm not ready for that and don't know if or when I will ever be ready for that farewell.

Thanks again everyone for your well wishes and prayers.

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Say a little Prayer

My mum is in hospital in intensive care

They don't know where the infection started but I was told last night after she was brought in my ambulance to call my family members. You can imagine I was freaked completely out as she was sitting up and talking just not making much sense.

Her blood pressure and her sugar levels were having a hard time being stabilised even after 3 litres of fluid. Her kidney count was at 13 which normal is apparently 90. She had the start of a kidney issue but in July her count was 40 and today I was told that normally they look at dialysis when it hits 30 but she is now way past this.

They are still looking for the point of infection but after a chest x-ray, a abdomen x-ray, a CT scan and today a ultrasound, they have been unable to locate where the infection is.

She did start to eat tonight which is promising but the doctor has previously stated that she goes up but then crashes back even worse.

So my mum needs all the prayers I can get mustered around the world to make her better, she is my best friend and I can't have her leave me, not yet, our times not now...........

Say a little Prayer

My mum is in hospital in intensive care

They don't know where the infection started but I was told last night after she was brought in my ambulance to call my family members. You can imagine I was freaked completely out as she was sitting up and talking just not making much sense.

Her blood pressure and her sugar levels were having a hard time being stabilised even after 3 litres of fluid. Her kidney count was at 13 which normal is apparently 90. She had the start of a kidney issue but in July her count was 40 and today I was told that normally they look at dialysis when it hits 30 but she is now way past this.

They are still looking for the point of infection but after a chest x-ray, a abdomen x-ray, a CT scan and today a ultrasound, they have been unable to locate where the infection is.

She did start to eat tonight which is promising but the doctor has previously stated that she goes up but then crashes back even worse.

So my mum needs all the prayers I can get mustered around the world to make her better, she is my best friend and I can't have her leave me, not yet, our times not now...........

Friday, December 04, 2009

Can you bloody well believe it

That's right, anyone looking at my Tweets will see that my darling sister in-law who is never wrong **hiccup** had the tickets to Fleetwood Mac in her safe, forgot to get them out and check the date!

I happen to call her Tuesday night to check the time it started thinking the concert was on Saturday night, but my call went to message bank.

11.30pm I get a text telling me to call her. Of course I am sleeping but am awaken by the text but tell her Dazza, her brother to call instead and I go back to sleep.

In the morning I get told, sorry but we missed it................ it was Tuesday night!

WTF

It seems that her daughter got home from camp Tuesday night, decided she wanted MacDonald's for dinner so off they went. When she got home she saw the message but then her other daughter got on the phone and she thought she would just check the message later.

She forgot.

11.30pm she saw there was still a message. It was me.

If she had taken the call when I first called (she was home) we would have made it to the concert.

She had only the week before been talking to someone about what night we were going.

I have never even seen the tickets as she brought them and put them in her 'safe'. Like who's going to steal them????

If I had asked for our tickets, I know the response, 'why we will all be going together anyway'

Now as she is so devastated by the fact that we all missed the concert, she is deflecting by saying, I'm not taking all the blame, you should have known the date of the concert.

How the hell she comes up with that when she purchased them and kept them is beyond me but she is beating herself up enough so I don't have to help in that department.

What a waste of what .... $250, and so close to Christmas

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Help required

I think I've killed my lettuce hanging basket, well not the basket as such but the plants formly known as lettuce. It goes like this: I harvested (f*cebook talk) the lettuce and now I think I did it wrong cause I only seem to have 1 plant growing again. So all you veggie growers out there need to tell me how to harvest the lettuce. What I did do was take to them with a pair of scissors, is that wrong? Should I be leaving the outer leaves and only taking the inners, because I cut them clean off all together.

On a good note, the cherry tomato plants are starting to flower a little and the cucumber plants seem to have taken off and gotten all furry. But the capsium plant leafs seem to be being eating by something as they have some holes in them. Any idea what insect like these plants, my mum keeps on telling me to spray them but with what? Isn't that the whole idea of growing yourself so that you don't have to spray. Dam mother nature and its insects!

Saturday, November 21, 2009

ANGRY

I'm just so angry.

A few weeks ago I found out from my mother in the middle of Spotlight that my nephews girlfriend is pregnant again.

This will make number 3 for them.

My nephew isn't even 21 yet.

Anyway, all was fine until I recently, yesterday actually, saw that she had announced on Facebook that:

'after her 1st ultrasound she was pleased to announce to the world that she is 11 weeks pregnant'.

I don't know why this made me angry, it just did. Maybe its the 'its not fair' happening again.

The funny thing was that same morning I said to Dazza, maybe we should offer nephew and girlfriend money to have a baby for us. Dazza, didn't know how that would work, I seemed to have it all worked out. We would just have them terminate their parental rights to the child.

I think this is illegal in this country to do but I can fantasise can't I?

My justification is that they are having their 3rd child on welfare, just like the other 2, they had their first because of the baby bonus, back then $3000, the 2nd I'm not sure if it was for the baby bonus but now the baby bonus is even more but handed out over a longer period.

Surely if I offered $10,000 or even $20,000 I was wondering if they would jump at the chance............. they could have another child later.................

I guess that she announced it on Facebook, now I feel like my plan has fallen through, even though it was only in my head.

But it could work................

why is it?

That the only time of the month that I want to exercise is 'that time of the month'?

Is it a hormone thing?

Is it because subconsciously we know we have put on another 2 kilo's in fluid retention?

Its funny, it seems just that just leading up to 'that time of the month' my brain starts to get the mojo to exercise but any other time of the month I'm more than happy to sit on the couch and watch the Young and The Restless on Foxtel (yes, its me who still watches that show, tapes it actually)

So I'm curious as to why this is happening to me, btw its happening again now..............

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

I'm back

Minus one husband.

Dazza really wanted to come home today but the nurses wouldn't let him. Although I think he is doing better than they thought he would.

It was a really long day because he was due for surgery at 8.30am but didn't go in until 12pm so not back to the ward until 2pm.

He really wanted something to drink and eat but they wouldn't let him have anything for 4 hours. He was up having smokes at about 4 1/2 hours after surgery, going to the toilet so he thought he would try the can I go home trick but they again said no, it might have something to do with the drainage tube from his stomach!

Can wait to get him home tomorrow though.

Home from the hospital

Minus one husband.

Dazza really wanted to come home today but the nurses wouldn't let him. Although I think he is doing better than they thought he would.

It was a really long day because he was due for surgery at 8.30am but didn't go in until 12pm so not back to the ward until 2pm.

He really wanted something to drink and eat but they wouldn't let him have anything for 4 hours. He was up having smokes at about 4 1/2 hours after surgery, going to the toilet so he thought he would try the can I go home trick but they again said no, it might have something to do with the drainage tube from his stomach!

Can wait to get him home tomorrow though.

Nervous

Dazza's in for surgery today, right now actually, 8.30am, first cab off the rank.

1 Gallbladder gone!

He said he didn't need me to be there and I almost wasn't but couldn't help myself.

He is my everything.

I'll tell you how it went later when I get back from the hospital tonight.

I will be a complete wreck when it's his heart operation.

I'm nervous

Dazza's in for surgery today, right now actually, 8.30am, first cab off the rank.

1 Gallbladder gone!

He said he didn't need me to be there and I almost wasn't but couldn't help myself.

He is my everything.

I'll tell you how it went later when I get back from the hospital tonight.

I will be a complete wreck when it's his heart operation.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Vegie progress

Its hard to believe its just been 2 weeks but here are some up to date photo's of my veggies....
Lettuce
Strawberries
Tomatoes, Cucumbers and Peppers


What is to be our new Christmas Tree
I know that the 'Christmas Tree' will take some time to grow, it states on the card that after 10 years it will be 2.5 metres tall by 1 metre wide, in a pyramid shape. But in that time we can use it year by year and it will be great to be able to remember back to when we planted it. (still deciding whether to plant it or keep it in a pot)


Sunday, November 08, 2009

I'm so proud of me

You won't believe it but I actually had the dogs sleep outside last night. That's right ALL 3 of them. I'm not going to lie, it was hard to go to bed knowing that they were out there. But I did it. It killed me to see little Miss Becky's face through the security sliding door but I walked away.

It did result in me having a more restful sleep last night though which is good because for the last week my sleep has been CRAPOLA. I even woke up at 6am and I mean woke up, rested!

Did the normal shopping thing with mum yesterday, got me a bargain I did. I decided to buy everyone a gift for Christmas this year which I might have already mentioned and since one of my nephews would like some car seat cover, thought that would make a good gift for 2 other nephews who are all into the Aussie thing, even have a tattoo of the Australian flag on their arms, so went to Kmart hoping to see if they had the seat covers and how much they would be.

I was looking, looking and low and behold, there was a 9 piece pack, front seats x 2, front mats x 2, back mats x 2, seat belts strap covers x 2, and steering wheel cover x 1 = $57.99. Imagine my surprise when I come across the same set but as a 10 piece pack with all of the above plus a air freshener = $25?????? Here I am, back and forth between the labels, maybe its a different fabric? Nope same fabric, maybe there's something wrong with the labels? I read them carefully, nope reads right, get another nephew to go and scan it (their good for leg work those nephews) and it scans at $25. Right I'll have 3 of them, but of course my luck can't run that good as there is only 1, but the girl tells me that there's 5 at another Kmart, I went there that night (open 24hrs) and there's only pink! Sue the boys would love that.

So today will be a look for another 2 sets, probably at another Kmart plus I have to look for something 'Fox' for another nephew........... but I think I will be able to pick up the car seat covers, mum's new handbag and the Fox stuff all at one location which will be excellent.

Dilemma fixed

So there is no more dilemma.

I decided to end my 2nd job and if I need extra cash I can just do an hour extra at my 1st job especially since it pays more anyway.

One to my second accomplishment, I think I might have put this out there a while back but I had been to anxious to try it but last night ..................




THE DOGS SLEPT OUTSIDE!

Can you believe it? I can't, it was hard to not let them in but its been like 33 degree's here, its not like its cold, its quite warm and its going to continue that way for at least the next 4 months and then it will be autumn and that's not bad weather either, hopefully before winter 2010 we will have completed out extension to the pergola so they can permanently sleep outside and only come in when there is a thunderstorm or fireworks. It will have me doing less cleaning that's for sure as they seem to be molting allot at the moment to.

It also means that the cats aren't locked in the bedroom with us at night time and they can have the door to the laundry room left open to get to their food, water and litter box through the night without the dogs eating all their food, or the fear of the dogs turning on them in the night.

And this might be a by product of them sleeping outside but I was awake at 6am, actually refreshed, I guess that's what happens when you don't have a dog and 2 cats sleeping on your bed along with you and the husband, as well as the other 2 dogs at the bedroom dog waiting anxiously for you to get of that room to play with them.

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Dilemma??????????

I have a dilemma ................ I have 2 jobs.

Let me start by saying I don't generally like to work in the best circumstances but now even though only working a few shifts at my 2nd job which is in retail, I don't think I want it anymore.

My dilemma

  1. Daz is about to go in for 1 of 2 operations and he won't be getting paid
  2. But that means he will need someone to look after him when he is home from the hospital but I will be either at both jobs or be too tired after working 2 jobs!
  3. It also means I could end up off sick at my first job because I am someone who gets physically sick when I am over tired
  4. I was hired as a Christmas casual which means if I wait too long to tell them I don't want their job it leaves them stuck for staff in the busiest time.
  5. A big part of it is that I am lazy
  6. But I can probably get more hours at my first job if I need to make more money as well
  7. The first job has a higher pay rate by $9 p/h but the 2nd has 40% off clothing

I just don't know what to do. Daz's operation is on the 17th of this month but today he has his pre-op examination and he is getting bad pains which could mean that he may end up staying in the hospital or having to go back tonight anyway and have emergency surgery.

I'm meant to work tonight at the 2nd job after going to the first but am also worried about Daz who is going for the pre-op when I am finishing my first but before I go to my 2nd. I really don't want to go to the 2nd job but feel I am letting them done, even though I won't really see them again except for when I am making a purchase.


What do you think I should do?

dilemma?

I have a dilemma ................ I have 2 jobs.

Let me start by saying I don't generally like to work in the best circumstances but now even though only working a few shifts at my 2nd job which is in retail, I don't think I want it anymore.

My dilemma
  • Daz is about to go in for 1 of 2 operations and he won't be getting paid
  • But that means he will need someone to look after him when he is home from the hospital but I will be either at both jobs or be too tired after working 2 jobs!
  • It also means I could end up off sick at my first job because I am someone who gets physically sick when I am over tired
  • I was hired as a Christmas casual which means if I wait too long to tell them I don't want their job it leaves them stuck for staff in the busiest time.
  • A big part of it is that I am lazy
  • But I can probably get more hours at my first job if I need to make more money as well
  • The first job has a higher pay rate by $9 p/h but the 2nd has 40% off clothing

I just don't know what to do. Daz's operation is on the 17th of this month but today he has his pre-op examination and he is getting bad pains which could mean that he may end up staying in the hospital or having to go back tonight anyway and have emergency surgery.

I'm meant to work tonight at the 2nd job after going to the first but am also worried about Daz who is going for the pre-op when I am finishing my first but before I go to my 2nd. I really don't want to go to the 2nd job but feel I am letting them done, even though I won't really see them again except for when I am making a purchase.

What do you think I should do?

Monday, November 02, 2009

Inspiration and a bit cheap

Well I have been thinking about growing some much used veggies around here but with my puppies it can be a challenge but yesterday I started to grow some salad greens, some strawberries (of course, any gardener worth anything grows strawberries) cucumbers, cherry tomatoes and a variety of capsicums and peppers, I say variety because I have no clue which were in the punnet ;) Now I say cheap because I am sick of spending so much money on buying lettuce, I generally buy it pre-packaged but even if I didn't, a butter lettuce is like $3 and that's just 1 variety that I like, together with the cherry tomatoes another $3, cucumber ....... well the list goes on and since I generally have salad with some part or all of a meal every day it just makes more sense to grow it myself. I have had to place some out the front of the house for now otherwise the only consumption will be by my dog, Humphrey! He loves veggies and salad.



I think that the capsicum, cucumber and cherry tomatoes will probably have to be separated at some point as they will all grow out of these pots but while they are little they will be fine, I hope any way :) By the way, don't you love my hanging plant baskets, I just love them to bits, will have to buy more like these they come in many different designs.

I also wanted to show and tell my garden bed before and after:


Before:
After:
We have been doing a bit to the yard of late as well, once that's completed I will post some more photo's. I can't believe by pulling sown one overgrown, falling down bush (that was inter twined with rose bush I might add) has opened up our yard and make it look much wider.
We have a few trips to the tip today with green waste but it will all be worth it in the end when that #$%#@ rose bush is all gone.

Sunday, November 01, 2009

Change

I felt like a change to something more brighter, more come on summer, so this new background is the result. Don't know how long my eyes will like it but it is what it is for now.

Thought I would update with some random complaints at home/work:

1) Daz has lost over 10 kilo's since I changed his eating habits for his gallstones but I haven't lost any #$@*%

2) D.HS had me do counselling to make sure I wasn't f*cked up mentally, which I have proved not to be but still haven't heard back from them

3) All the people at my new work love sport, watching sport, taking part in sport, talking sport ............. I don't!

4) a good 50% or more go to the gym at my work, what's with that?

5) means I'm going to have to get my butt into gear too

6) I've continued to put on weight, now in the mid 90's yet I am the one at work who eats salads for lunch!

7) can't seem to do the food thing right, in verse's out ......... I know I'm not exercising but come on, am I eating too much or not eating enough??????

8) My nephews girlfriend is pregnant again! That will make 3 for them and he hasn't even turned 21 yet!

9) My 25 year old niece thinks that giving a Christmas present to all of her family members in the way of a mug with half tissue paper and lollies is appropriate when she has requested a King size doona from me and a blackboard for her son, which she continues to shove down every ones throats! It would seem petty but for her partners side of the family they will get grown up presents not something that I would expect my 8 year old niece to give me from her school fete!

10) ....... well can't think of a 10th thing right now but I''m sure by the end of the day I will.

On a brighter note, Master Humphrey was taken to the beach yesterday on the back of a trailer with his other doggy friends from his walking group. Apparently he loved it, hate to have seen the vomit in the back of the trailer on the way home, all that sea water and God knows how many dogs!

Powercor gym has just opened up near home, might have to go down and have a look at the equipment they have. Pretty good I think for $4 a session

Saturday, October 31, 2009

thought it was time for a change

the weather is heating up here so thought my mind set had to change from mellow to bright and cheerful.

Soon it will be Christmas, if you can believe it? I have already started buying gifts, have already gotten allot of the food sorted, will order some chicken pieces and the bread rolls soon.

We have a traditional Christmas feast which means I need to be organised. We have both sides of the family over together which makes for between 15 - 20 people here for lunch.

What is everyone else doing? Do you start getting ready now or is it a mad rush to the end?

I haven't heard from the adoption agency yet, think that it will be on hold, I'm hoping not but what can I do?

We have a long weekend so am going to get stuck into the gardening, especially the back yard, will post some photo's if I actually get anything good done.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Nearly a week

Its been nearly a week since my last counselling session and still no word from the adoption agency about when our assessment will continue. #%$@ It's so frustrating having to wait for someone else. Especially since we should have been going to panel this coming month for approval. I don't know if the assessment is finished and we just have to wait for the report to be written or if there is still sessions to be had. Even if the assessment is done, we have to wait for it to be written up and for ourselves to get a copy to make notes or ask for changes before it even is finished enough to go to panel. With they way the government department works it will take them over a month just to write it up and give us the first draft which means good bye to having a happy Christmas knowing that we are just waiting to be picked. We will have to wait not knowing if and when we are going into the pool of people that can be even looked at for a birth mother.

Like I said, frustrating!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Counselling

I forgot to update that my counselling is all over.

It was actually funny to see the 'team leader' of the adoption area come into the room to advise that we can book the room again to be told by her own counsellor that it would not be required and in actual fact we were about to leave.

It should have been over on Monday last week but as I was really sick I had to postpone to the Friday.

So now just to wait for the report to be written up and hopefully back on track for the assessment to continue but now I wouldn't think that it will be until next year that we go to the panel, I'll be a year older which pisses me off but what can I do?

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

a joke???

I'm going to post this joke that was emailed to me and I hope I don't offend anyone with it


Childbirth at 65

Too good not to pass on, Enjoy !!!

With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old friend of mine was able to give birth. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, I went to visit.

'May I see the new baby?' I asked

'Not yet,' She said 'I'll make coffee and we can visit for a while first.

'Thirty minutes had passed, and I asked, 'May I see the new baby now?'

'No, not yet,' She said.

After another few minutes had elapsed,I asked again, 'May I see the baby now?'

'No, not yet,' replied my friend.

Growing very impatient, I asked, 'Well, when can I see the baby?'

'WHEN HE CRIES!' she told me.

'WHEN HE CRIES?' I demanded. 'Why do I have to wait until he CRIES?'

'BECAUSE I FORGOT WHERE I PUT HIM, O.K.?!!'

Saturday, October 10, 2009

a leaf from

Kek had some nice new shiny things so thought I would take a leaf from her and show my new shiny thing :)We brought a LG Flatron Monitor for the computer because we were using a monstrous clunky old monitor and the new one is fabulously huge at 22 inches. It has such vivid colours and I can now see lots more on Facebook except for Farmville which is another story all together!






I also brought this book, which is very extravagant for me as I normally borrow my books from the library but it was a lazy Sunday trip to Big W when Daz was at work and it happened to ring some bells for me. So anyway, I just sent some time reading it and it makes some sense, except for the bit about me not eating red meat every day and the picture for the minestrone soup that looks more green than tomato red. Its funny because I can actually hear his voice when I was reading it, you know how animated he gets when he talks, that's how I read the book in my head as well. Scary stuff.

So I have to go plant shopping, no for the garden, no, for my food to eat. His theory is to eat 2/3's 'Basic food' which is plant food - vegetables, fruits, nuts, seeds, grains etc, and 1/3 'Bonus foods' which is all other stuff. He also advises that kangaroo meat is very good but still a bit unsure about that little fact. It may be good but don't know if I can get it past my lips.

Has anyone tried it before???

He doesn't follow that GI diet but HI factor, you may ask what is the HI factor? Human Interference. How many times has human touched the food you are about to eat? From picking, peeling, washing, smashing, mashing, frying, you get the picture.

He has 'the rule of 15' which is eating 15 different types of basic foods a day, doesn't have to be the whole piece of food but at least a bite of it. and FP100 which is his fruit platter always in the fridge which is just bite sizes of fruits at hand which can also help you with 'the rule of 15'.

It does make allot of sense but I do like my steak, don't know if I can change it for Kangaroo steaks even though I did see in Safeway/Woolworths last night kangaroo steaks, marinaded kangaroo steaks and marinaded mini kangaroo roast rolls. Why are they marinading it? Does it taste that BAD?

Oh and I forgot to mention, you know how bad I have been with getting work or should I say keeping work of late, I have a second job at Katies! and an interview with the local council again for another job. So at the moment I have 2 jobs and may have to decide which I will keep as my main if the council job comes through for me.


Friday, October 09, 2009

update on the counsellor

Well yesterday I saw the counsellor for nearly 2 hours, she was really nice and I felt bad being short with her on the phone. Before we actually got into the interview we met up in the reception area (she doesn't work at the government department) so we had a chance to talk 'off the record' so to speak so she got to see that I was a normal well adjusted person before the interview actually begun.


After me letting her know how disappointed I was that I was even there for this, we had a chat about what they had concerns about. It turns out that I think she is one my side (famous last words huh??) and she thinks that she only needs to see me one more time and to think about how I handle conflict so that we can talk about that. She believes that I am a well adjusted person who knows how to handle her emotions and keep them in check. She sees that I am a compassionate person and can show empathy, which I already knew of course.


So on the 19th I will see her again and that's it. Hopefully back on track with the assessment.


On a more worrying note, Daz tells me last night that he has had in the back of his mind for a while that if we do have a child, when the child is 5 he will be 50, he's now 45. And when the child is 10 he will be 55. He is worried that he will not be able to do the things he wants with a child like skateboard, ride bikes and so on. I tried to talk to him about it, i.e. so you think that within 5 years you will be old and cripple, could not do not a thing? He 's reply, well no but, I said, how old is your dad? He thinks late 60's, he is still running is own business, active at his holiday home which he is always building things, takes his grand kids with him, he would go go-carting is his butt would fit in a go-cart, he never really did skateboard but he did drag race professionally in Aus and he would again if he had the chance. Yes he had an aneurysm but he got over it and back to work when we thought he would die, if anything he is stronger, he doesn't look his age except for his greying hair which thank God he has stopped dying black.


I think I settled him down, but did advise that he cough badly at night in his sleep which actually lifts him off the pillow so thought he might consider cutting down, especially if he wants to chase his kids and keep up on the skateboard ramp :)


Now kindly Chelle from babybeanmom.blogspot.com has nominated me for an award, which I thank here for so he goes.



Rules

1. You Can Only Use One Word!

2. Pass this along to 6 of your favorite bloggers

3. Alert them that you have given them this award!

4. Have Fun!


The Fun Part

1. Where is your cell phone? bag

2. Your hair? tied

3. Your mother? special

4. Your father? stubborn

5. Your favorite food? mexican

6. Your dream last night? sleepless

7. Your favorite drink? coke

8. Your dream/goal? baby

9. What room are you in? computer

10. Your hobby? knitting

11. Your fear? baby

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? mother

13. Where were you last night? shopping

14. Something that you aren’t? painful

15. Muffins? blueberry

16. Wish list item? carpet

17. Where did you grow up? Australia

18. Last thing you did? supermarket

19. What are you wearing? casual

20. Your TV? off

21. Your pets? many

22. Friends? crazy

23. Your life? simple

24. Your mood? good

25. Missing someone? melissa

26. Vehicle? silver

27. Something you’re not wearing? socks

28. Your favorite store? bunnings

29. Your favorite color? blue

30. When was the last time you laughed? Yesterday

31. Last time you cried? today

32. Your best friend? daz

33. One place that I go to over and over? store

34. One person who emails me regularly? jody

35. Favorite place to eat? anywhere


Recipients:
Mrslala
Mandy
Emma
mks4249
tammy
over the rainbow
batty nurse

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Counsellor

Well I heard from the counsellor today. It appears that I couldn't pick someone to use but the government department could, the person of course they choose is not registered on a health insurance #*frustrating*# How can that be, if you are using a reputable counsellor surely she should be registered!

So on Thursday I will be seeing her at the government department which of course has also moved so will have to travel further and apparently there is no parking there so have to find some up back streets. It just keeps getting better, I'll probably end up with a parking fine or something

Saturday, October 03, 2009

not around much

I'm sorry I haven't been blogging lately. I think I've been a bit depressed about the whole adoption process.

You see they have 'suspended' our assessment because it seems they don't like it when you have a bad memory. That's not bad memories but a bad memory. I can't tell a 'fluid' history story for them so their answer is to send me to counselling to see if I have any suppressed memories, maybe I was traumatised as a child ad they want to get it out. Or maybe I just have a BAD MEMORY! Also because we had moved away from my dad's family so I don't know allot about them and dad doesn't talk about them and doesn't like to talk about it, it appears to be a problem for me as I don't know enough family history. God this is frustrating. And the last stupid reason for the suspension. Dazza smokes. That's right, he smokes, it appears not the smokers are the minority, although it is legal its still a no no for the 'government' department that does adoption in Australia.

Now I got a call yesterday from the head of the department advising of a counsellor that they want to use but I will have to pay for the session and they will met the cost of the report that will b issued. The cost, $90 per hour. I don't mind the cost really just that I think it will be a waste of time because there is nothing wrong with me. I questioned if I could claim it o my health insurance an the Head almost fell off her seat. Why is that a wrong question, you want me to pay for something that in my opinion is a waste but I am happy to do it if it gets us further in the process, they should be happy that we pay for private health insurance.

I think I left her a bit put off but its my life they are fucking with. They are stopping me form having a family, its not bad enough that God decided that we shouldn't be blessed with babies but now some government department can stop me with these ridiculous reasons. I would understand if they said something about my families criminal connections but they just cal that a 'colourful history' which I have o remind her that it was my families 'colourful history' not mine as I have not taken part in anything criminal or even associated with the part of the family that is in the 'underworld' but again apparently they have shaped me even though I haven't seen them personally since I was a child.So instead of telling them were to go, which I was really tempted to do yesterday, we have decided that we are going to think outside of the box they have put us in and continue with I* V* F as well which is a no no.

Dazza sees to have settled down on the health issues as well, just waiting for the hospital appointments for both operations, maybe before the end of the year but no more attacks of the gallbladder as yet, touch wood.

As for work, I now have 2 jobs, I am working a part time office temp in the freight and transport industry as well as a part time (3 shifts per fortnight) at a ladies fashion retail store. I have never done that before but it should be fun except or the shop lifters...............

not around much

I'm sorry I haven't been blogging lately. I think I've been a bit depressed about the whole adoption process.

You see they have 'suspended' our assessment because it seems they don't like it when you have a bad memory. That's not bad memories but a bad memory. I can't tell a 'fluid' history story for them so their answer is to send me to counselling to see if I have any suppressed memories, maybe I was traumatised as a child ad they want to get it out. Or maybe I just have a BAD MEMORY! Also because we had moved away from my dad's family so I don't know allot about them and dad doesn't talk about them and doesn't like to talk about it, it appears to be a problem for me as I don't know enough family history. God this is frustrating. And the last stupid reason for the suspension. Dazza smokes. That's right, he smokes, it appears not the smokers are the minority, although it is legal its still a no no for the 'government' department that does adoption in Australia.

Now I got a call yesterday from the head of the department advising of a counsellor that they want to use but I will have to pay for the session and they will met the cost of the report that will b issued. The cost, $90 per hour. I don't mind the cost really just that I think it will be a waste of time because there is nothing wrong with me. I questioned if I could claim it o my health insurance an the Head almost fell off her seat. Why is that a wrong question, you want me to pay for something that in my opinion is a waste but I am happy to do it if it gets us further in the process, they should be happy that we pay for private health insurance.

I think I left her a bit put off but its my life they are fucking with. They are stopping me form having a family, its not bad enough that God decided that we shouldn't be blessed with babies but now some government department can stop me with these ridiculous reasons. I would understand if they said something about my families criminal connections but they just cal that a 'colourful history' which I have o remind her that it was my families 'colourful history' not mine as I have not taken part in anything criminal or even associated with the part of the family that is in the 'underworld' but again apparently they have shaped me even though I haven't seen them personally since I was a child.

So instead of telling them were to go, which I was really tempted to do yesterday, we have decided that we are going to think outside of the box they have put us in and continue with I* V* F as well which is a no no.

Dazza sees to have settled down on the health issues as well, just waiting for the hospital appointments for both operations, maybe before the end of the year but no more attacks of the gallbladder as yet, touch wood.

As for work, I now have 2 jobs, I am working a part time office temp in the freight and transport industry as well as a part time (3 shifts per fortnight) at a ladies fashion retail store. I have never done that before but it should be fun except or the shop lifters...............

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Dog Issues

I need help of some sort.

Today I was going to blog about actually getting off my arse and going for a walk, but instead I'm back to my usual problem if Miss Molly (the border collie) pulling palings off the back and side fences where there happens to be other dogs. This would not normally be a problem if I didn't have Master Humphrey the Alaskan Malamute who of course doesn't like small dogs and will go into the other properties causing God knows what problems.

You may remember some time ago the neighbour on the left had a Jack Russell. I say had as some how after palings were removed by Miss Molly, said neighbours dog ended up dead in our back yard!

I don't know how to fix this problem of her pulling off the palings. Its doing my head in and once Daz gets home he will be less than impressed once again. I thought about running the clear plastic along the fences like they place around trees to stop the wild life ruining the trees but Daz says it won't work. Anyone else have any thoughts on what I can do?

Dog issues!

I need help of some sort.

Today I was going to blog about actually getting off my arse and going for a walk, but instead I'm back to my usual problem if Miss Molly (the border collie) pulling palings off the back and side fences where there happens to be other dogs. This would not normally be a problem if I didn't have Master Humphrey the Alaskan Malamute who of course doesn't like small dogs and will go into the other properties causing God knows what problems.

You may remember some time ago the neighbour on the left had a Jack Russell. I say had as some how after palings were removed by Miss Molly, said neighbours dog ended up dead in our back yard!

I don't know how to fix this problem of her pulling off the palings. Its doing my head in and once Daz gets home he will be less than impressed once again. I thought about running the clear plastic along the fences like they place around trees to stop the wild life ruining the trees but Daz says it won't work. Anyone else have any thoughts on what I can do?

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

hypnotherapy

I was thinking today about undertaking hypnotherapy for weight loss. Has anyone done this in the past or know of anyone who has done it? I called today to check the price and number of sessions required which was $95 (goes for about an hour) and takes about 3 sessions, done once a week or every second week depending on the person and then only if you fell like you need it. Of course they said it was highly effective, but that's something I would expect them to say. Couldn't imagine them saying, 'oh yeah come along and give us money but don't expect any changes'. I guess I won't know if it will work unless I give it a go.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

The crapola you see

You know I was preparing for diner tonight when I heard on the TV a new 'detox' diet.

Lose a dress size in 2 days! How can that be good advertising. There really should be something stopping that type of advertising. You even get to try it for FREE for 21 days!

God I'm bored

I'm so bored I'm now playing Uno online with Facebook for God's sake.

Isn't it funny that when I think I will start exercising by going for a walk, it rains!

Does anyone know if you can walk the 10km for the Melbourne Marathon??

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Update on hubby

So as it turns out after seeing the cardiologist, Daz does have this Wolff-Parkinson White Syndrome which means that he will have to see the man that I will be calling the 'heart electrician' cause I don't know what else to call him...........

Apparently they can do some sort of day procedure to fix the problem, when this happens he will be out of action for 6-8 weeks, me is freaking a little since he is now self employed so that means no funds! f course we are going to leave this little condition away from our government adoption agency. No need to alarm them................ If this little day procedure doesn't work it will be a matter of cracking the chest open to fix it. I'm just going to assume until proven wrong that it will be the day procedure that fixes the problem.

Now onto issue number 2. Gallstones. It appears that Daz has 10 5mm stones which means he has to have his gallbladder out. But wait for it, not until his heart op. I didn't go to the doctors appointment but Daz tells me the doctor was speaking to him as if he was dying. He is a little worried now. It also appears that it is a certainty that he will have more gallstone attacks and has been advised by the doctor to inform his work that if they see him changing to the colour of yellow to call an ambulance!

Lucky we are in the ambulance that's for sure but we do not have private health insurance. The doctor seems to think that even though we do not have private health insurance that we will get through the waiting list for the heart procedure very quickly but our next appointment isn't until the 7th of September.

I'm just so worried that if I cook the wrong food or he eats something at work he might end up in all that pain again. However the doctor said that if he has the attack again they may have no option but to remove his gallbladder first.

On the high side, I got a job, I start on the 31st of August, however its not the job I want. I have another 2 weeks to get the job I want but that seems unlikely since the job applications closed 2 weeks ago and they haven't sort listed yet! That's government jobs for you.

Update on the hubby

So as it turns out after seeing the cardiologist, Daz does have this Wolff-Parkinson White Syndrome which means that he will have to see the man that I will be calling the 'heart electrician' cause I don't know what else to call him...........

Apparently they can do some sort of day procedure to fix the problem, when this happens he will be out of action for 6-8 weeks, me is freaking a little since he is now self employed so that means no funds! f course we are going to leave this little condition away from our government adoption agency. No need to alarm them................ If this little day procedure doesn't work it will be a matter of cracking the chest open to fix it. I'm just going to assume until proven wrong that it will be the day procedure that fixes the problem.

Now onto issue number 2. Gallstones. It appears that Daz has 10 5mm stones which means he has to have his gallbladder out. But wait for it, not until his heart op. I didn't go to the doctors appointment but Daz tells me the doctor was speaking to him as if he was dying. He is a little worried now. It also appears that it is a certainty that he will have more gallstone attacks and has been advised by the doctor to inform his work that if they see him changing to the colour of yellow to call an ambulance!

Lucky we are in the ambulance that's for sure but we do not have private health insurance. The doctor seems to think that even though we do not have private health insurance that we will get through the waiting list for the heart procedure very quickly but our next appointment isn't until the 7th of September.

I'm just so worried that if I cook the wrong food or he eats something at work he might end up in all that pain again. However the doctor said that if he has the attack again they may have no option but to remove his gallbladder first.

On the high side, I got a job, I start on the 31st of August, however its not the job I want. I have another 2 weeks to get the job I want but that seems unlikely since the job applications closed 2 weeks ago and they haven't sort listed yet! That's government jobs for you.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

The results

Well this seems to have turned into Dazza's blog doesn't it? But I guess he does effect my life so its not so bad to blog about him.

It turns out he does have Wolff-Parkinson's White syndrome, we have another appointment with the doctor I will call the 'heart electrician' to tell us our options for having this extra abnormal pathway in the heart treated on the 7th of September so will update after this appointment on the treatment, in the mean time he just has to carry on as per normal, what ever that is. LOL

Ultrasound was this morning for gallstones, as it turns out again, another yes, he has a very large one which the tech told him to take it easy on the fried and fatty foods because its large enough to KILL him. Nice........ so we are off to the doctors on Friday night to find out the next course for this one as well.

Back to me, I'm still not working, went for a temp role yesterday part time, but we have to weight and see. On a good note I joined 'The Biggest Loser Online' last week in a moment of weakness, haven't been following it but have gone from 92.7 to 90.8 in the week. Don't know how that happened but I guess not frying anything since Dazza's attack is making a difference maybe.

Sunday, August 02, 2009

Beaten up

It just keeps happening in our house!

Daz went to work yesterday in the 'chicken' factory, he had to do some pipe work and was there most of the day. Near the end of the day he was working away changing a O ring in a pipe when it started to shutter.

He thought, mmmmm not good, pretty sure this is not on. And that's when it hit him, straight in the left side of the face, chicken guts and body parts along with caustic acid which they clean the pipes with.

Apparently the plumber thought he was finished with the pipe and turned it on for testing!!!

He is a little worse for wear, lots of bruising to the face and legs as he was stuck in a spot he couldn't stand up in and had to try and crawl away with his eyes shut.

I've been giving him lots of love and attention, he says that it took the focus from his gallstones but I think that was only for a little while because he is back to worrying about what to eat and what will bring on another attack.

We're thinking of him doing a gallstone cleanse which is made up of virgin Olive oil, lemon juice and V8 or pineapple juice. It only takes about 4 hours to drink the lemon juice and olive oil and then wait for the bowel response. Should be interesting since we only have 1 bathroom but that may be the plan for next week end, wish us luck.

Beaten up

It just keeps happening in our house!

Daz went to work yesterday in the 'chicken' factory, he had to do some pipe work and was there most of the day. Near the end of the day he was working away changing a O ring in a pipe when it started to shutter.

He thought, mmmmm not good, pretty sure this is not on. And that's when it hit him, straight in the left side of the face, chicken guts and body parts along with caustic acid which they clean the pipes with.

Apparently the plumber thought he was finished with the pipe and turned it on for testing!!!

He is a little worse for wear, lots of bruising to the face and legs as he was stuck in a spot he couldn't stand up in and had to try and crawl away with his eyes shut.

I've been giving him lots of love and attention, he says that it took the focus from his gallstones but I think that was only for a little while because he is back to worrying about what to eat and what will bring on another attack.

We're thinking of him doing a gallstone cleanse which is made up of virgin Olive oil, lemon juice and V8 or pineapple juice. It only takes about 4 hours to drink the lemon juice and olive oil and then wait for the bowel response. Should be interesting since we only have 1 bathroom but that may be the plan for next week end, wish us luck.

Saturday, August 01, 2009

The end of life as Daz knew it

That's right poor sad and sorry for himself Daz woke up at 4.30am Thursday morning in extreme pain. Me being the loving sympathetic wife that I am, just told him to quit moaning and take some Buscopan. A little after 5am, we jumped into the car and off to the hospital we go.

After arriving, Daz right on queue started throwing up, straight in we went, after him bitching and moaning in emergency they gave him some morphine and then he was quiet. Me thinking that he's going to be here for a while after they draw blood, do an ECG, send for X-ray and put up fluid's, goes home as I left my dogs in the house and the cats are still locked in the bedroom. I go home, call his work, do the dishes, have a coffee and a shower, drop off his invoice to his work for payment, make my way back to the hospital, don't think I'm mean, he was asleep on the morphine anyway, and he's up, dressed and ready to go.

It appears at some point they tell him he has Gallstones. It also appears that they have found something on his 2 ECG's that they want him to have checked. They suspect him to have Wolfe-Parkinson White Syndrome so now we have a trip to a Cardiologist to look forward to in about 2 weeks. I don't know if he has it or not, I'm siding on not, but best to be checked.

He also have to have the gallstones confirmed by an ultrasound in about 2 weeks also. Because he is scared of the thought of going through that pain again he is really getting worried about what he can eat. This is a problem for a meat and fried food freak that he is, it appears that fatty food can bring on an attack. I looked up a few diets for gallstones and all show only vegetables! No meat at all. He is going to die on this diet. He even requested Subway instead of pizza last night.

If anyone has any experience with either of these issues, can you please let me know by leaving me a comment, I would really appreciate it.

The end of life the way Dazza knew of it

That's right poor sad and sorry for himself Daz woke up at 4.30am Thursday morning in extreme pain. Me being the loving sympathetic wife that I am, just told him to quit moaning and take some Buscopan. A little after 5am, we jumped into the car and off to the hospital we go.

After arriving, Daz right on queue started throwing up, straight in we went, after him bitching and moaning in emergency they gave him some morphine and then he was quiet. Me thinking that he's going to be here for a while after they draw blood, do an ECG, send for X-ray and put up fluid's, goes home as I left my dogs in the house and the cats are still locked in the bedroom. I go home, call his work, do the dishes, have a coffee and a shower, drop off his invoice to his work for payment, make my way back to the hospital, don't think I'm mean, he was asleep on the morphine anyway, and he's up, dressed and ready to go.

It appears at some point they tell him he has Gallstones. It also appears that they have found something on his 2 ECG's that they want him to have checked. They suspect him to have Wolfe-Parkinson White Syndrome so now we have a trip to a Cardiologist to look forward to in about 2 weeks. I don't know if he has it or not, I'm siding on not, but best to be checked.

He also have to have the gallstones confirmed by an ultrasound in about 2 weeks also. Because he is scared of the thought of going through that pain again he is really getting worried about what he can eat. This is a problem for a meat and fried food freak that he is, it appears that fatty food can bring on an attack. I looked up a few diets for gallstones and all show only vegetables! No meat at all. He is going to die on this diet. He even requested Subway instead of pizza last night.

If anyone has any experience with either of these issues, can you please let me know by leaving me a comment, I would really appreciate it.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

What to do????

So I mentioned on my last post I am now unemployed, I was terminated, sacked, sent packing..... you get the picture. Well me dilemma today is .............. if I get a job interview, when I get a job interview, when the ask me why I left my previous employer, do I tell them the truth? Has anyone had experience with this one? I have never in all of my working life been terminated, much less be told that I have breached the code of conduct which sounds even worse.

I got a book on interviews and questions and it states to never say yes to being sacked, I guess if I don't say it myself, how will it come out in conversation when my reference check is done? If I don't dob myself in, how will they know to ask that question? Shouldn't my referee be only answering questions posed to them?

If you have a way I can answer this question I would be grateful for a comment left for me.......

What to do????

So I mentioned on my last post I am now unemployed, I was terminated, sacked, sent packing..... you get the picture. Well me dilemma today is .............. if I get a job interview, when I get a job interview, when the ask me why I left my previous employer, do I tell them the truth? Has anyone had experience with this one? I have never in all of my working life been terminated, much less be told that I have breached the code of conduct which sounds even worse.

I got a book on interviews and questions and it states to never say yes to being sacked, I guess if I don't say it myself, how will it come out in conversation when my reference check is done? If I don't dob myself in, how will they know to ask that question? Shouldn't my referee be only answering questions posed to them?

If you have a way I can answer this question I would be grateful for a comment left for me.......

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

UNEMPLOYED

That's right, me unemployed!

How could this have happened to me????

Well take 1 smart arse customer who yells and screams as though you are his dog in the back ground when really your a customer service agent trying to talk to a customer as she normally would but after one to many smart arses, decides to end the call. That equals 'Breach of Code of Conduct'. Equals me unemployed! They even walked me out of the building, not sure if they thought I would randomly hang up on people as I walked past, unsure as to what they were thinking. I take solace in the fact that in the last month they have sacked 8 people, me being number 6. I think that they are shedding staff and I gave them the prefect way to shed me.

What is a girl to do now???

I don't know if I want to go back to work ANYWHERE. I'm being way too picky but hell I'm 40 for Gods sake, I can be picky.

So if your looking for me, I'm on the couch eating chips and drinking Coke.

As for Origin, they can bite me

Assessment Update

Thought I should update on our visits from D*HS since our very first meeting.

Since the 12th of July we have had another couple meeting, a individual meeting with myself which is still not finished, darn large families with issues and Daz has had an individual meeting (which was finished in 4 hours!). As far as we know, I still have to finish my individual session on family and religion and the like, then I think we will break for a couple of weeks while it gives our worker time to write up some stuff, come back together for maybe another 1or 2 sessions maybe, I can't imagine what else we can tell her. It all seems to be going very positively except I have now thrown a spanner in the works by getting SACKED from work just over a week ago.

Add to that Daz has gone through 6 jobs in 6 months, something unheard of in our lives but is now self contracting again, something I'm not thrilled with but since the money is good, will deal with. So far I haven't really been doing anything, I've looked for some government jobs which is all I am really willing to apply for at this stage, I'm thinking of adoption leave. My old employer did me a favour I think as I would only have gotten 5 days adoption leave paid.

So at the moment I am a lady of leisure, don't know what to do with myself except watch TV, The jobs I have applied for have closing dates of the 30th and 31st of July so don't expect a call for an interview (if I get one at all) until at least a week after the closing.

Any idea's of what I can do in the mean time, drop me a line, if you have any good knitting patterns that can be emailed, also drop me a comment.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

one down ........

Yesterday we started out assessment for adoption. It went quite smoothly with a few touch and go moments at the beginning.

You see, not everyone likes snakes, as yest Daz has 4 of them. Even though they are in a locked enclosure, it is not the most favorite things of D*HS along with dogs.

The 'talk' lasted about 3-4 hours, we walked around the house to show our renovations, showed Daz's passions with his guitars, the room that will be the 'baby's', then sat at the table and just talked about life in general. It appears that she didn't get done as much as she would have liked because of our general chat but at least she got a sense of who we are as individuals and as a couple. One good thing was that as she new our ages before coming to see us, she thought that it may be a factor in the adoption. Myself being 40 and Daz being 44. But she was surprised to see how young we actually looked. Tick for good skin and gene's ;)

So next week its on again, another visit, another 4 hours I'm sure but am glad I got the first one over and done with because I was so nervous and had put off the visit by a week as it was. I don't know why I was so worried but I'm sure she will have me more worried by the end of next week with her probing questions.

no photog genious but here's some photo's

I can't get these things in order so here's some photo's of the changes. You'll notice the door frames and doors have been painted through out the whole house. That was a pain. Not to mention all of the walls, they were originally in suede effect, a different colour in every room, on every wall which needed to be undercoated before being painted in new colour. We have painted the kitchen cupboards but are not yet finished with the kitchen. We have also tiled the floors in the kitchen, entry, laundry and bathrooms and toilet. And we have removed a wall between the lounge and the kitchen making it more open living. Friday I also got a new front loading washing machine, Daz and my dad went and got it. It may not have been what I would have picked but am happy to be able to wash my clothes again. We also recently got a new hot water system, the new Heat pump. Once I get a current invoice for the power I will let you know if the expense is worth it.


Saturday, July 04, 2009

..........................................................

Well, its coming to an end.

The waiting that is. DHS has made contact and next weekend they will be attending the newly improved 'Our House'. Our first assessment meeting will happen next Saturday. I'm of course nervous, always am when we have visitors, especially someone who could make or break our application.

I'm worried about the dogs and what they will think about them and about the snakes that are in the lounge at the moment.

The fact the Daz doesn't have a job at the moment isn't great either but good practice for us living on 1 wage.

Other than that, we really haven't done much, haven't gone anywhere exciting, done anything exciting, just work no play, makes me a dull chick :(

Once I have finally cleaned up I will post some photo's of our painted kitchen and our tiled floor and some odd other photo's maybe.

catch ya later

Sunday, June 28, 2009

we got the call

Why do I do it to myself? Of course I can't be patient and wait for them to call me, I have to ring and hassle them out. Them is the assessment people. Then Dazza loses his job, again. Of course. That's 5 jobs in 5 months! What in the world is happening here???

So the call came that they wanted to start on the 4th of July! But that only gives me one weekend to finish my house to the way I want it to be when they arrive. Eek horror.

I changed my mind, I can't do this, ok I can but its going to be hard. I have changed the date of starting to the 11th so that it give me an extra weekend. Having said that, I really have wasted this Saturday by doing nothing.

Do I really want this or not?

Can I live with being child free forever?

Do I want to change my lifestyle, change the way I treat my animals (treated as children at the moment)?

I know I am looking forward to having the dogs outside more, to at least keep the floors clean longer and the dirt and dust out. Maybe the furniture will not be cover in dust from the heating system if the dirt isn't sucked into the roof heating?

Maybe its the rejection I think I can't handle so I sabotage myself instead, maybe I don't think I'm good enough to be a mum. I should just carry on being a critic of those you can be.

I went into Baby Bunting yesterday with my mum, I just looked at everything, I couldn't believe how many cribs there were on offer, not to mention the prams!!! Everywhere I looked there were pregnant women. I didn't know if to smile or just cry because I will never be one of them. If I had a thin body maybe that would make me feel better, to think I could have a baby without getting fat, but I'm already fat. Maybe I'll use my gym membership soon to at least lose some weight and get healthy so that if the Gods to grant me the honour of being a mum, I'll be fit enough to take it on.

So at the end of all that, the assessment is due to commence on the 11th of July, no telling when it will end yet, but I'm sure the process will be painful.

Sunday, June 07, 2009

MISSING

JUST ME, SOMEWHERE IN THE PAINT FUMES

Oh my God will it ever end...........

That's the painting and tiling that is.

1 bedroom - to be babies bedroom & the laundry to go!

Yesterday we were meant to finish the painting and the tiling, even got up early and went and got a bit of extra grout, expect after picking mum up, I couldn't be bothered. I did have to go to Bunnings Warehouse where I saw, low and behold a paint that No Swimmers used in her kitchen to make it look like a million dollars. So I brought a can home to show hubby. He didn't think it would work but thought he would give it a go. That's when I was sent back to Bunnings to buy more! Since we are going to redo the sink area, there is no use painting the bench tops yet but the side panel and the front of the island was done and it has really transformed the kitchen already. I'm just trying to talk hubby into painting all of the cupboards, with our brushed silver handles on the hammered brown it will look great. It's what we were going to do for colour on the $10,000 kitchen we were quoted for anyway.

Still no word from the contractored social worker, lucky I guess, the fumes are overwhelming!

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Surprising

Well well well, guess you got a call today about an assessment?

It appears because of the back log, the assessments are being contractored out (is that even a word?) and we were contacted today to be advised that our file will be given to one of the contractors to do the assessment. Now we wait for them to make an appointment.

Now did I mention before that we are still painting and tiling????

best be moving faster :)

Saturday, May 16, 2009

8 months

I looked it up, it's been 8 months, nearly to the day since we have had our completed paperwork to DHS, to wait for a social worker to be assigned and we are still 3rd! What's with that???????

Yonks and yonks

That says it all doesn't it? It's been yonks and yonks since I was last here, or so it feels. The surprise is I guess that as of the 1st of May we are still 3rd in line, that's been going on for a few months now. It feels like forever however it is good in some ways as this home improvement of the painting, tiling, light fittings, carpet, yard is taking forever to complete! I feel really depressed when thinking about it actually.

So I thought last week, what about a painting party? My sister in-law after all thinks that its easy, and she has 2 kids who would love to paint the trims. So tomorrow is the day they are meant to come over, we'll see............

On the bad side, Daz is again out of work. Only the 4th time this year. Yes I am freaking out about now. So I guess 3rd is good.

Work for me on the other hand is going OK, I haven't really applied for anything else. I think I should be content at the moment where I am and be happy to have a continuous job. I just wish that I had enough money to buy a few badly needed things like a freezer and new washing machine. My washing machine now lives outside in the yard as it leaks to much and the repair man said it is far to gone to fix it. So on the up side at least the hose makes it to the garden bed!

I wanted to also say congratulations to the proud new parents over on Swimming Against the Tide, may your little angel bring you all the happiness and joy you were looking for.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Just a bad blogger

I am such a bad blogger, I don't seem to find time to read blogs let alone update my own! I apologise in advance.

I have been still reading every ones blogs just not updating my own. Although I have been inspired by a few and have indulged into the gardening.

I have brought a few new plants and worked out why some of my drought tolerant plants have died ........ apparently for the first year they still need regular watering ????? Why call them drought tolerant then huh?

So some of the old were removed and so new plants planted, some water saving crystal kind of stuff added, removed some old tired looking pots and gave them a splash of colour. To my surprise the pots are already blooming :) (will provide some pic's later)

Then low and behold, the next door neighbour that I have been complaining about not leaving food for their animals when I have to feed them, which is about another 2 times since I last complained on my blog, have gone and given us their second hand Pioneer surround sound system and DVD player since they brought an new one! They apparently really love me taking such good care of their animals :) (should stop complaining about now)

Then we got another call from my niece to advise that the pavers I wanted were being delivered whilst I was at work. (her partner works at a paver manufacture). When I got home there were 2 pallets of 50x50 mm pavers on my natures strip. The kicker? FOR FREE! I counted them, 90 pavers!

And even better, Daz got a job. I don't think I mentioned before but Daz quit his job in January to do sub-contracting but then after about 5 weeks the work dried up along with the economy. So where he would put out 5 resumes and get 7 calls, he sent 10 resumes and all he heard were crickets in the background. So after a few trial and error's at a few work places, he has now won a full time job and starts Monday which will relieve some stress from the household.

Training and weight wise, well nothing has happened there, no surprises. I don't even have a battery in the scales. Daz has been a bit preoccupied with his weight over the past few weeks but nothing else.

Sunday, April 05, 2009

Interesting comment

So yesterday my mother in-law, sister in-law and niece came for a visit. They appear to love my Chinese take out place.

So that interesting comment comes from my sister in-law who says:

Sis in-law: So Dazza tells me that your 3rd in line for the adoption thing

Me: yeah, that's 3rd until we get a social worker assigned to do the home assessment

Sis in-law: OK, so when you know that they are coming, let me know so that I can come and help clean things up

Me: yeah, we have to finish the painting in the back room, hopefully have the carpet down, if not we have to clean up between the tiles and the floor boards ..........

Sis In-law (with mother in-law nodding along): well that's easy stuff I mean clean the house

Me: blank look

Is it just me or does that sound like she thinks my house is dirty? Does she think we live in filth or something? We do have 3 dogs for good sake, there will be dirt in some places. My dogs live inside, I know not everyone likes that but comeone, we have no babies to have to worry about.

By the way, we are still 3rd in line.........

Monday, March 23, 2009

is it just me

Or do others get depressed reading adoption stories?

I have borrowed some books from the library in the past, the one I have at the moment is The Lucky Ones which is about people telling their stories about adopting from China, but after reading the first one or two, I have to put the book down because I find myself getting depressed. I guess its just that it seems so far away for us that I feel its never going to happen.

The same thing happened when I read books on IVF, I know that it doesn't happen for everyone, we are living proof of that, but reading others stories whether successful or not, just depresses me.

Just thought I would throw that out there and let it just be......................

Times getting away

I can't believe the last time I blogged was in January!

I guess the only reason I'm blogging today is because I am off work and going to take Dazza to the doctor's. Poor Dazza fell over on Friday and as the stoic male, didn't want to go to the doctor's but with the constant complaining and carry on I'm making him go today. It's swollen like a football and must be painful, especially when the drugs wear off. He stated that he heard it 'pop' on the day and can feel crunching as he tries to walk on it. Me thinks this is not quite right. I'm thinks x-ray or ultrasound is going to be needed.

Its funny but Dazza gave me a back handed compliment last night. His sister was over and was talking about getting a treadmill or one of those vibrating things. One of her friends has one and told her how she had lost like 3 kilos in a matter of days. I find this hard to believe but we are talking about someone who is well and truly about 130 kilos.

To the backhanded compliment, Dazza says 'you should ask Sue cause she knows lots about exercise, it just hasn't reached her butt!', hmm hello, Sue in the room (or is that an elephant in the room?)

So I guess that answers your questions, no I haven't been doing much. We have however pulled up the floor boards in the entry, dining room, kitchen and removed the old tiles from laundry, toilet, bathroom and en suite and started laying the new tiles. Now that's a bit of work that's for sure.

Well best be on the run, have to call the doctors and Dazza on the road to recovery.

Imagination

I'm wondering if my imagination is getting away from me?

I've been imagining that we will not be approved to adopt and that we will go back to IVF. I know this must be part of my imagination because if we couldn't afford it before the adoption process, what makes me think we can after?

Some times I think that I can cope to be childless but others I can't think of anything worse in the world to have to live my whole life without that love of a child that is yours.

I think I am just hormonally emotional as today is day 30 of my cycle and although I feel like she's coming there is no sign of her showing up. Although it would just be the best to find out we were pregnant, I just can't see that ever happening.

I wish with all my heart and soul that we could be like other couples that fall pregnant out of the blue, where family and friends say, 'see we told you if you just relax it will happen', I just wish that would happen but that part of my brain is over ruled my the sensible part that knows best.

To just keep me feeling low, my nephew's girlfriend, remember the one that has 2 kids already before he was 18, yep, their pregnant again! What the hell is that about?

The only think that keeps me sane is that I think in the next life I must have learnt my lesson in this one and will be able to have a million kids. Oh and I also blame it on the Duggers, they have what 18 kids now? Its because they have an 'in' with God and they have taken all of the baby quota for them selves!

Monday, March 09, 2009

And that would be 3



I forgot to let you all know that we are now number 3 in line for the worker to be assigned to us for the adoption process. Things seem to be moving right along at the moment, by June I'm sure we will be assigned. Then it's just the actually going through everything to get approved. I'm hoping all of our 'home improvements' will be completed by then. At the moment we have pulled up all of our floor boards in the entry, kitchen, dining room, pulled up the existing tiles in the laundry, bathroom, toilet and ensuite to lay our new tiles. I think they will look fab since we started to lay them in the entry way but then when Dazza's friend came over, he said they don't look so ........... professional! So they will be laying tiles together tonight I believe............ but I will believe it when I see it. For my part, I think I will start moving the tiles around to the back door so they have no excuse as to not do them. Do you know how heavy a pack of 330x330 tiles are? Really heavy!
Other than that, i really haven't been doing much but working. Hard to believe since I haven't been blogging everyday like I used to and nothing else has changed. Oh well, better go, things to do...........

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

The week of HELL

This is what remains of a Primary school in Kinglake




I wasn't really going to blog about this but have decided to draw as many prayers in for the communities devastated by the week of hell that is bush fires here in rural Victoria.




181 dead and up to 80 people still missing, presumed dead.

Whole communities wiped off the face of the map.

The fire came so fast that some communities were not given any warnings at all.

The first fires started last week on the other side of the city, by Saturday a new fire had been, believed to be deliberately lit, in Kilmore East and quickly engulfed the bushland. Remember we have been in drought for at least the past 8 years, so there was plenty to burn.
With high winds, it didn't take long for it to travel to many other rural towns, some completely gone with very little chance of anyone surviving.

I hate to think of the wildlife, stock and pets that were lost along with the 750 homes that have been burnt to the ground.
This link is of a wild animal, a koala, I know that everyone thinks that these guys are cute and cuddly but they really arn't in real life but this shows the desparation of one.

I have read were parents have died along with there babies, children and disabled family members as there wasn't enough time to get out. The first victims I heard of were 6 people in there car, that obviously tried to get out but must have been blocked in. I can't imagine the terror they must have been facing and the screams that must have come from that car with no one but themselves listening.

For the past 5 days now I have heard the water chopper over head, carrying water to dump on effected area's, it brings a tear to my eye every time I hear it. I am lucky to not be too close to the fire however I do have friends in the area where the fires are and have been under threat of losing everything they have ever owned. Some have lost their homes.

I work for an electricity company and know that people who live in the effected area have now automatically had their accounts placed on hold and anyone who has lost their home has had any outstanding debt written off, we have also donated $100,000.00 to the disaster and they are matching $ for $ what employees are donating. I am so proud to know that we are doing some thing for these people and not just wanting there last $, if they have one.

Dazza has been sending me SMS's while I am at work when he is in the disaster area to tell me what people need and I am telling everyone at work what to bring to donate. I just wish I could do more.
A ray of sun shine through this disaster.








Tuesday, February 03, 2009

a new number



That's right, I called DHS yesterday and 6 has become 4! I think this is totally amazing considering that they would have been closed over the Christmas break and on the 1st of December 08 we were still number 6. Don't get me wrong, very happy to be now 4.

If only birthdays could go backwards like these numbers, I would be very happy.

The only thing that worries me now is that I know that the dogs are going to pose a problem. The powers that be do not like dogs/animals in the house which is the way we live with our 3 dogs, 2 cats and 3 snakes. I have gotten out to the habit of having the dogs sleeping in the bedroom which I battled for a while there but now to have them out all the time, I don't know. I do know that if I start now I won't feel like such a liar when they ask me about the dogs but still how do I start?

Not to mention that Dazza has now decided that he would like to be a sub contractor for his friend this week so threw in his full time, paid every week job for this sub contract thing. I am a little bit worried about this. But wasn't I the one that said not to hold your breath waiting for the things you want in hopes of having/getting a baby, that life must go on? I will just have to cope with this and make sure that we can cope on this financial journey to never never land.

Is anyone else self employed who has gone through/going through the adoption process? How did it/is it going for you with the adoption approval process? Was there anything different that you had to provide for this?

I am really talking myself out of this aren't I? Just need to take a breath and commence breathing, maybe I need yoga and some stress relief.................