Saturday, December 23, 2006

Its nearly Christmas and ...............

Well thats right, its almost Christmas and I've been nothing but a B*tch to Darren. He wants to buy me a present for Christmas but I am being painful. You see, I hate Christmas as we don't have a baby to celebrate Christmas with. Whats the good of having Christmas without a baby, to see their little faces light up when they see the Christmas lights and presents under a tree. I haven't put a tree up for about 4 years now. Actually thats about how long ago my brother in-law died in a motorbike accident. I wonder if some of my sadness for Christmas comes from that also???
Not only is not having a baby shitting me but I can't find a thing to wear that looks any good on me. I am soo fat dam it! I know only I can change that fact but geez, I can't justify buying anything, nothing.
I have the CSIRO diet book my mum brought me and the exercise tube that you use in the programe but have put it off as the grocery list is huge and will cost a fortune. I have told everyone (mum and Darren) that I will start it when we go back to work so I don't have to worry about the money. But I'm just prolonging the chellange I guess and oh and the pain.
Anyway, thats it for me for another day.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Well that's it for week one.

Can't say I've lost any weight but have made it to the gym for 6 days and 1 day off. Food, well foods been mostly good I think but will definitely have to smarten up my act if I am to see any visible differences any time soon. Finished my week off with a Curry Laska that I had been waiting for a while for. I'm a bit scarred of eating things, worried about my diet/food. Will have to relax a bit and enjoy myself as opposed to to be worrying if 'this is good for my diet' and just eat healthy. The trouble is I guess you think that some thing is healthy and it turns out to have more fat than you anticipated, like roasted capsicum, probably used oil to roast them, but must admit better than what I would hace normally have eaten. Have made a batch of protein pancakes for breakfast and will last me for another 2 days, with those and poached eggs or oats my breakfasts are just about taken care of, snacks will be fruit and yoghurt, lunch baked beans and mountain bread with salad, sour cream and a little cheese, dinner will always be lean meat and vegies.

Must remember to keep on track. At least with my morning shifts its not so bad but when those later shifts come around I will have to use all of my strength to keep on top of it.