Wednesday, December 31, 2008

I'm so proud of me :)

I donated all of my Women's Fitness & Health mag's, along with some older Slimming mags and Weight Watchers mags to the local gym here. I tried to give them away to Kerryn but apparently she has enough of her own (**stifles giggle**) that she has to move to her new place. Now I know that if I have 3-4 year backlog of these mag's, Kerryn you must have double that so my heart goes out to you with moving those. Its funny how heavy a "few" mags can be :

For my trouble I received 2 family swim passes and a Aqua class pass.

I also received a call yesterday for more animal feeding but not from the neighbour but from Dazza's mate, they need someone 'reliable' to feed their dog and give him medication while they go away to the river for New Years Eve night and back New Years day. I really should do this as a business I tell you. The neighbour used to pay a fortune at the kennel and my SIL recently looked after a dog in her home for $550 and the people even paid for the dog's food! But of course I won't ask for money, not until I'm running around our entire suburb feeding animals :)

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

A New Year is approaching ....

2009, HERE WE COME
Gosh hasn't that come around fast again? Is it just me or is it as you get older the year moves faster?
I don't think I will make a New Year's Resolution this year, I just don't keep them, or maybe they are too unrealistic for me to keep, that may just be the answer.
  • Maybe instead I will just be "kinder" to myself and others
  • I will think before speaking .......... yeah right
  • Won't judge
  • Be more sociable
  • Clean my house more
  • Keep the dogs outside more..............

I also want to start to find meat supply from somewhere where I know that the animals are kept humanly before they were slaughtered. If you know of a place that you are sure that this is happening and I mean things like, pigs and cattle are not kept in cages but roam freely and they have a good life before it all ends, that is the place I want to buy my meat from. I may not be able to change allot about what I put in my mouth but at least I can know that the animal was not cages all its life. (talk to Oprah about that one, I saw that the US passed a law about keeping animals in human conditions) I will also buy only free range eggs. I would ideally like to make sure that what ever company I buy my other dairy items also use only animals treated humanly throughout its life, which means I may have to find a source for cheese, butter and milk as well. But 1 step at a time.

Photo's from my birthday

My Birthday Cake

My friend Cath & Me
Dazza & Gazza
(note Daz is a bit on the 'wasted' side)

Our friends Miss B, Mrs K & Mr D

My dad (up to something???)

My big brother and SIL

My Neice & husband (from above parents)

My sister & partner

My nephew Mr C & girlfriend Ms D (from above parents)

My MIL & family friend Ms R

My neice Miss A and Ms R

My neice Miss A & my SIL Ms D (Dazza's sis)

Our friends Ms S & Ms C

Sunday, December 28, 2008

If that was Christmas

then I'm glad it's over :O

No really it went really well, apart from my in-laws being late (nothing unusual there), my sister (who has never been to my place) couldn't find us! Eventually everyone turned up and a good time was had by all. When you consider that lunch was at 1pm and our last visitor didn't leave until 6.30pm, off to someone else's place, there was no need to have to travel to anyone else's place for us for dinner that's for sure.

My sweetheart Daz surprised me with a new ring, I'd take a photo but it's at the jewelry store being re sized and I can't have it back until about the 15th of January, when we went to have it re sized, Daz brought me a new wedding band as well. I brought Daz a GPS for when he gets his car back on the road, shortly, I hope that is.

I also received money so have brought a new mobile phone and shoes, received a hot sauce pack with cactus plate.

On the horrible side, my father in-law turned up at 11am on Christmas morning as I was busy in the kitchen didn't realise that he didn't give Daz a present but gave me one, I only realised when he had left and I felt terrible. Why would he give me a present and NOT GIVE ANYTHING to his own son? I felt like crap and wish I had know as I would have told him to shove it. It was a nail polish and nail set, you can tell this is the only time of the year I see him as I don't even have nails!

One thing we were not impressed with was Bon Bon's this year, I even spend more on them than ever thinking that the trinkets on the back looked OK but in reality they were crap and allot had the same thing in them. Well on Boxing Day (I know crazy) I went shopping and as Daz needed pipe cleaners for what ever crazy thing his making now, I went into Lindcraft Imagine store and as I was browsing the discounted Christmas items for next year, came across do it your self Bon Bon's, the only thing that it doesn't have is the trinket. 8 extra large for $2.49, then as it was a sale I got 30% off as well, in the end I brought 48 Bon Bon's and 2 packs of pipe cleaners and it only cost me $13, hello people that is the cheapest Bon Bon's ever in the whole world.

Our idea for next year is to put money in them, like a $5 note or something, maybe a lucky $20. I have also heard of people putting in socks for the men and snake brackets for the girls.

Tell me if you have any other idea's for what I can place in them for next year.

Anyway, its back to reality now and I have to go next door to feed the animals again, neighbours are away................. hey tell me, have you ever had to deal with people like this.

My neighbours who go away regularly, ask me to feed their cat and dog, this time they have a brother staying there but he also goes away and came over to ask me to feed the dog and cat for 5 days, when I went to feed them on the first night, there was only 1/2 a can of dog food and 1/4 can of cat food and no dry food for the cat.

Remember I told you I was feeding them for 5 days! No other food to be found.

Why are they doing this, this is the second time that there is not enough food, the first time I thought I might have been feeding them too much, hence running out of food but this time clearly there is not enough food.

What would you say to them on return?

I have had to buy food twice now, of course I am not going to let the animals starve but come on, its not a Maltese terrier that eats a bit, its a Rottweiler for god sake. These people used to be the neighbours from hell but we have changed our opinion of them but come on.

They used to board the dog at a kennel when they went away until they asked me, its getting a bit old but she is a sweet dog. Now with this food thing, its getting ridiculous.

If that was Christmas.........

then I'm glad it's over :O

No really it went really well, apart from my in-laws being late (nothing unusual there), my sister (who has never been to my place) couldn't find us! Eventually everyone turned up and a good time was had by all. When you consider that lunch was at 1pm and our last visitor didn't leave until 6.30pm, off to someone else's place, there was no need to have to travel to anyone else's place for us for dinner that's for sure.

My sweetheart Daz surprised me with a new ring, I'd take a photo but it's at the jewelry store being re sized and I can't have it back until about the 15th of January, when we went to have it re sized, Daz brought me a new wedding band as well. I brought Daz a GPS for when he gets his car back on the road, shortly, I hope that is.

I also received money so have brought a new mobile phone and shoes, received a hot sauce pack with cactus plate.

On the horrible side, my father in-law turned up at 11am on Christmas morning as I was busy in the kitchen didn't realise that he didn't give Daz a present but gave me one, I only realised when he had left and I felt terrible. Why would he give me a present and NOT GIVE ANYTHING to his own son? I felt like crap and wish I had know as I would have told him to shove it. It was a nail polish and nail set, you can tell this is the only time of the year I see him as I don't even have nails!

One thing we were not impressed with was Bon Bon's this year, I even spend more on them than ever thinking that the trinkets on the back looked OK but in reality they were crap and allot had the same thing in them. Well on Boxing Day (I know crazy) I went shopping and as Daz needed pipe cleaners for what ever crazy thing his making now, I went into Lindcraft Imagine store and as I was browsing the discounted Christmas items for next year, came across do it your self Bon Bon's, the only thing that it doesn't have is the trinket. 8 extra large for $2.49, then as it was a sale I got 30% off as well, in the end I brought 48 Bon Bon's and 2 packs of pipe cleaners and it only cost me $13, hello people that is the cheapest Bon Bon's ever in the whole world.

Our idea for next year is to put money in them, like a $5 note or something, maybe a lucky $20. I have also heard of people putting in socks for the men and snake brackets for the girls.

Tell me if you have any other idea's for what I can place in them for next year.

Anyway, its back to reality now and I have to go next door to feed the animals again, neighbours are away................. hey tell me, have you ever had to deal with people like this.

My neighbours who go away regularly, ask me to feed their cat and dog, this time they have a brother staying there but he also goes away and came over to ask me to feed the dog and cat for 5 days, when I went to feed them on the first night, there was only 1/2 a can of dog food and 1/4 can of cat food and no dry food for the cat.

Remember I told you I was feeding them for 5 days! No other food to be found.

Why are they doing this, this is the second time that there is not enough food, the first time I thought I might have been feeding them too much, hence running out of food but this time clearly there is not enough food.

What would you say to them on return?

I have had to buy food twice now, of course I am not going to let the animals starve but come on, its not a Maltese terrier that eats a bit, its a Rottweiler for god sake. These people used to be the neighbours from hell but we have changed our opinion of them but come on.

They used to board the dog at a kennel when they went away until they asked me, its getting a bit old but she is a sweet dog. Now with this food thing, its getting ridiculous.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

It feels like forever since I have been on blogger or even looked at anyones blogs but in reality only about 2 weeks!

I've had internet trouble and at the moment using Mozilla instead of Explorer, don't seem to figure out what is happening but at least I can get on here now.
We started to clean up the yard as of yesterday, really would have liked to have had that completed before now but with Dazza working on the Saturday mornings, it leaves him tired and when he gets home he wants to see before the clean up, well let me just say, my man, he can SLEEP, I had to resort to waking him up if I ever wanted to get it done. But now that we have started, I can see light at the end of the tunnel. I know that I am encouraged by the clean up because it them makes my brain start to formulate plans - what plans you may ask?

  1. a new garden design
  2. trees to be removed
  3. magnolia trees to replace old trees around parameter fence
  4. a new fence from garage to house (making drive all the way to garage)
  5. water tank with flushing system for toilet
  6. GREEN grass 9as as apposed to dirt which I have now
  7. swing set for could-be children
  8. replace all chewed up dog toys with more hardier dog toys
  9. cat enclosure for my 2 pussies
  10. new BBQ
  11. new pergola
  12. car port that goes from front drive way back to garage and then wraps around back of house to join new pergola (I know that a biggie)
I think I should stop now, its getting a bit out of hand. Oh did I tell you I forgot to put on Tattslotto last night so I'm sure my numbers would have come out and that list above could have been paid for already!

So I apologise for being a bad blogger again and not reading every ones blogs but promise to catch up

Sunday, December 07, 2008

its time

to make a list.

Yes we are hosting Christmas again this year (and every year from now on) and I am not prepared at all for this festive season. I have brought NO presents yet but I must admit we do really only buy for the small children which there are only about 3 now plus 2 nieces who are 9 and 13 and like money, oh and we do buy for Dazza's sister (she is the only sibling he has) and our parents. I haven't ordered any chickens or anything. I feel so far behind but I think I can catch up. I don't think I will put up a tree like I originally thought, especially with Humphrey being still in his 'puppy' stage as I don't think it would last very long at all. He like to eat things like that (I got flowers last night and as soon as I placed them on the kitchen bench he was trying and succeeding in eating them!) I might invest in a small tree that can be placed on a counter top to add some sparkle to the lounge.

Now to start to think of the numbers - this is the part that scares me.

Mum, Dad, Dazza, Me, Mumsy, Ms D, Miss A, Miss C, Mrs C, Mr C, Mr J, Mr A, Mr A2, Ms D, Ms S .............. 15 for lunch, that don't seem that bad. Oh and maybe Mrs M, Mr J, Master J, Mr P, Ms S2, Miss K and Master D, maybe 22 ........ mmmmmmmmm

We always have the traditional meal, dad likes the traditional, me I could have a BBQ but no, he won't like that and mum would be back to making and cleaning up Christmas day, can't have that.

This is making my head spin a little (and it has nothing to do with the Tequila from last night ;) I think I will take this opportunity to nick down the street while Dazza is still in bed to go buy the kids bikes.

it's time

to make a list.

Yes we are hosting Christmas again this year (and every year from now on) and I am not prepared at all for this festive season. I have brought NO presents yet but I must admit we do really only buy for the small children which there are only about 3 now plus 2 nieces who are 9 and 13 and like money, oh and we do buy for Dazza's sister (she is the only sibling he has) and our parents. I haven't ordered any chickens or anything. I feel so far behind but I think I can catch up. I don't think I will put up a tree like I originally thought, especially with Humphrey being still in his 'puppy' stage as I don't think it would last very long at all. He like to eat things like that (I got flowers last night and as soon as I placed them on the kitchen bench he was trying and succeeding in eating them!) I might invest in a small tree that can be placed on a counter top to add some sparkle to the lounge.

Now to start to think of the numbers - this is the part that scares me.

Mum, Dad, Dazza, Me, Mumsy, Ms D, Miss A, Miss C, Mrs C, Mr C, Mr J, Mr A, Mr A2, Ms D, Ms S .............. 15 for lunch, that don't seem that bad. Oh and maybe Mrs M, Mr J, Master J, Mr P, Ms S2, Miss K and Master D, maybe 22 ........ mmmmmmmmm

We always have the traditional meal, dad likes the traditional, me I could have a BBQ but no, he won't like that and mum would be back to making and cleaning up Christmas day, can't have that.

This is making my head spin a little (and it has nothing to do with the Tequila from last night ;) I think I will take this opportunity to nick down the street while Dazza is still in bed to go buy the kids bikes.

Saturday, December 06, 2008

OK, so the 1st of December came and went and I hadn't updated the number of people in front of us with DHS. That's because that darn number hasn't changed! its still 6 couples ahead of us. Now if I remember rightly the words used are, 'the approval process takes approximately 12 months from start to approved', HELLO when does start start??? If this is the process then we need to get a move on or we will be letting them know when they start the dam assessment that they only have xx months to have this all finished and before the board for approval. It probably won't go over very well to be in a hurry but come on people!

I also have a secret, I'm having a birthday dinner tonight shhhhhhh, don't tell anyone but I'm turning four zero. Don't say it out loud cause I don't want to hear the number. Dazza brought me a new digital camera and surprised me with it last night. What a sweetie. I do need to watch the words that come out of my mouth when he gives me things but I can't help it, cause it wasn't really the camera I had been eyeing off and not the type he said we should get but its still very nice. I think I just have to tell him more how much I appreciate him.

Got a message from a friend yesterday to tell me her new baby has hip dysplasia! Poor baby is only 7 1/2 months old. It appears that he may have to have an operation and a cast, there is no family history, could have just been the way he was positioned whilst she was pregnant. At least I guess they have found this out before he started to try and walk, I'm sure it would be very painful if anything happened then.

Any who, must get a move on, with all the things to prepare for today ............... shhhhhhhhhhh

Party time

It's my 'Birthday Party' day today! not really my actual birthday but the day we deemed fit to have my 'Birthday Party' dinner.

I got home last night from my lame work Christmas Party to find a pressie in the doorway. My first thought was, gee who's not coming to my birthday dinner? But low and behold it was something
thought would be a surprise and the picture to the right, its a new Can0n P0werSh0t A59oIS! I desperately needed a new camera and just in time for the party.

As I said before it isn't actually my birthday yet and I am still having trouble with the number associated to the birthday, it starts with a four and end with a zero. I know I should be celebrating but it marks getting old to me and I don't like to think of my self as old or older. It make me think that old = lonely, no kids................

Enough self pity. Its my party and I'll cry if i want to ................... God where did that come from, that shows my age!

Anyway, lots to do today before dinner so better get crackin

Saturday, November 22, 2008

results

Results are in, I'll tell you the way it was told to me, it freaked me out at first then I could have slapped the doctor for getting me worked up, surely they know that patients are anxious to find out results.

Doctor - (normal hello greetings) I don't seem to have your films, ahh we discussed you in our meeting - gets up and walks outMe - ??? (shit, what does that mean, shit)

Me - (doctor arrives back empty handed) Surely I'm not that interesting to talk about me in your meeting .................... (hoping for some insight)

Doctor - well there is some results isn't there.............

Me - (shit what does that mean???) oh OK (me thinking great I have cancer and I'm here alone)

Doctor - well the mammogram was normal

Me - good (shit why doesn't he say the mammogram and ultrasound were both normal???)

Doctor - and it seems we got all of the fluid when the biopsy was performed, nothing bad in it, so that's it, won't have to see you again.

Me - that is great, no offence but I hope I never see you again, bye

So you can see that I got a bit nervous with the start, I was his first patient of the day and he didn't even have my films! Didn't explain how or why I got a cyst in nearly 40 years of life. I never thought I would ever have to have a mammogram, my breasts just aren't that big for Gods sake.

its all good

Thanks Tammy for prompting me to update the results from the tests, I'll tell you the way it was told to me, it freaked me out at first then I could have slapped the doctor for getting me worked up, surely they know that patients are anxious to find out results.

Doctor - (normal hello greetings) I don't seem to have your films, ahh we discussed you in our meeting - gets up and walks out

Me - ??? (shit, what does that mean, shit)

Me - (doctor arrives back empty handed) Surely I'm not that interesting to talk about me in your meeting .................... (hoping for some insight)

Doctor - well there is some results isn't there.............

Me - (shit what does that mean???) oh OK (me thinking great I have cancer and I'm here alone)

Doctor - well the mammogram was normal

Me - good (shit why doesn't he say the mammogram and ultrasound were both normal???)

Doctor - and it seems we got all of the fluid when the biopsy was performed, nothing bad in it, so that's it, won't have to see you again.

Me - that is great, no offence but I hope I never see you again, bye

So you can see that I got a bit nervous with the start, I was his first patient of the day and he didn't even have my films! Didn't explain how or why I got a cyst in nearly 40 years of life. I never thought I would ever have to have a mammogram, my breasts just aren't that big for Gods sake.

Either way, I'm glad I'm OK and can go on to live another day. I can't imagine that they would have let us adopt had it been bad news as they wouldn't want to add the stress on us but these powers that be do not know that it would add stress if we couldn't ever think we had the possibility to have a child in our home for our whole life time. That may be selfish but I/we need the love of a child, not to make our relationship to be whole but to enhance what we have and complete our spirit and sole.

Friday, November 21, 2008

craziness

Well its 5am here and I've been up since 3.30am! Hence the title of craziness.

I get my results this morning from the hospital for the 'breast thing', I'm sure it's nothing.

I have decided not to be in denial any longer.

I am turning 40.

That now means I have to grow up and have mammograms and pap smears yearly not just every time the doctor catches me in a lie about when the last one was.

I have also decided that I will not hide the fact that I will be having a birthday on the 10th and instead have a dam party to even celebrate the fact.

It won't be a big shindig but just family and close friends as a Bistro, they have packages for birthdays so its all you can eat of everything you could imagine for like $27.95 each and they even decorate your tables with flowers/balloons and have a birthday cake made for you.

Although I stopped at the decorations that actually said 40, but again I may throw caution to the wind and allow that too.

Well off to the tv to watch some pay tv and see if the Young and The Restless is on.

ok offically crazy

PEOPLE I GOT UP AT 3.30AM!

I woke because of Daz snoring, then started to think about direct debits about to come from our account on Monday and then started to wonder if there was enough money......... a normal person would roll over and deal with it in the morning. NO not me, I have to get up and start obsessing. I thought, no get up, deal with it now and then you can go back to sleep, but here I am reading blogs instead of going back to bed!

Told you NUTS

Sunday, November 16, 2008

A breast thing

A little while ago I had a problem with my right boobie, it had a funny sensation that I didn't know what it was and it wouldn't go away. There were no lumps to feel but went to the doctor's anyway for another reason so thought I should mention it. The doctor did an exam and he too could not feel anything. He sent me for an ultrasound all the same which came up with a lump/cyst thing. The doctor thought it was nothing but referred me to the breast clinic at the local hospital. After much amendment to the appointment, I finally got in there this week.

1 mammogram (which was my very first and it hurt!) and 1 ultrasound later, she is still there and the same size. So it was off to have a biopsy.

At least it was a fine needle biopsy, they were going to do a core biopsy with a thicker needle {{gulp}} but after the fine needle they didn't have to, now I just have to wait until next Friday to find out the results from pathology.

I can tell you they left a nice bruise on my boob and it is now sore again but I guess its better to be safe than sorry

The breast thing again

Well I finally got into the breast clinic on Friday, remember I went and found I had that lump/cyst in my right boobie. Well 2 months on and I have been to the clinic to have it checked out to see if it's still there.

1 mammogram (which was my very first and it hurt!) and 1 ultrasound later, she is still there and the same size. So it was off to have a biopsy. At least it was a fine needle biopsy, they were going to do a core biopsy with a thicker needle (gulp) but after the fine needle they didn't have to, now I just have to wait until next Friday to find out the results from pathology.

I can tell you they left a nice bruise on my boob and it is now sore again but I guess its better to be safe than sorry.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

I did it and survived

That's right I survived. I rode to and from the station yesterday, the ride home was hard as it was more of the incline but I actually prefer that as I am a little heavy with the brakes going down the decline as I'm scared that I will fall off at a rapid pace.

The funny thing is that when I was leaving I thought "I'll just wear my riding pants under my work skirt and when I get to the station I will take them off". Well when I was ready to leave my neighbour had just come out of her house to walk her dog and she was laughing at me. Now she wasn't laughing at me riding a bike but the fact that I am trying to ride a bike with my work skirt on that of course means I can not even get on the bike as I can't lift my leg without hiking my skirt up to my waist!

Once I am at the station I lock my bike but don't have enough time to take off the bike pants before getting on the train. All is good as I can take them off at work. once back at the station from work, I think, I'll just take off the skirt and wear the riding pants home, embarrassed but at least with ease. No of course not, that would be too easy. Of course at our station the toilets are near the waiting room, which has been closed due to the door having to be fixed on the waiting room. After getting someone from the station's attention, they open it up for me to get changed. How embarrassing to wear ridding pants without something over the top of them, my big fat arse showing to the world.

I'm still riding on the footpath at the moment which I know will have to change but I'm scared that I will be hit by a car as I'm not yet used to looking over my shoulder to check for cars without falling off the bike. The slight incline got me as well but not enough to give up. Although I thought, that's going to hurt in the morning, it really doesn't, my forearms were achy last night which I have to be careful of because of my dicky wrist but after some panadol before bed, they are all fine too.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Me, crazy?

That would be a big fat YES!

Well yesterday I had a brain wave when I missed the train (I walked to the station). The brain wave? What if I rode my bike to the station? This is where the crazy comes in. I txt Daz and ask him to shower some love on my bike. Really it needs a complete overhaul however even then I think its too far gone. Well besides from Daz laughing his arse off at the thought of me riding a bike let alone ride to the station and back got my juices flowing.

By the time I got home Daz told me it was all over for the red bike he brought me about 5 years ago ( and I had only ridden maybe 4 times) but he had been to the bike shop and could get one really cheap. So low and behold, off we trek to the shop and I came home with this............
So today is my first day of riding to the station. Wish me luck.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Bad Blogger

Gosh I really am a bad blogger aren't I? I haven't really been reading any blogs either. I guess it all changed with the loss of TTC, once we decided to adopt, all the excitement of the unexpected, the timing, the peeing on sticks, all of that went out the window and now I have nothing but to wait for someone else to keep my journey going. You lose that identity. I feel like I have no control over how long this process takes, our region is one of the busiest regions and it takes forever to have this process completed or even started for that matter.

Give me some inspiration to keep the momentum up please. At the moment we are just working on the house, completing the painting and we are going to tile the entry way, kitchen, bathrooms and laundry. But that doesn't feel like welcoming a new baby home, another member of our family.

I feel like we are going stale.......................

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Melbourne Cup - Tuesday - worse than ever

So you would think that by now the antibiotics would have started to work? NO that would be a big fat NO however now I'm starting to think that it may be more than my sinuses, I'm sneezing, nose is drying out (outside only) and the tightness from my nose is travelling to the top of my lips. Could this actually be the flu? Dazza claimed to have the flu last week or so but I chose to not believe him, HELLO, maybe the one time he wanted to stay home for 3 days he really did have the flu? Its hard to tell because when he gets on a roll of staying home, he is hard to get back to work and stays up half the night playing in the garage. How does one get better doing that I ask?

It also doesn't help that one Master Humphrey (Alaskan malamute) keeps on stealing the boxes of tissues off the bench and destroying them like his worst enemy.

Anywho, I'm sick of being sick, although it has been some weeks in between my last sickness, it pisses me off.

I didn't let it stop me from painting Saturday and I ended up with really sore quads for a couple of days, I guess that happens when you are balancing on the side of the bath with a paint tray in your hand, then proceed to put a chair in the shower where you can hardly turn around and nearly fall through the plate glass getting off said chair with paint tray and brushes in your hands so can not hold onto anything.

I was going to take some photo's but I couldn't get my camera to zoom out far enough to see much. Sorry.

Saturday, November 01, 2008


Thats the number of couples in front of Daz and I waiting for a social worker to be assigned to do our assessment for Infant Adoption.

Sinusitis - WHY?????????

I am so over my sinuses, how many times a year can I get it? Maybe there's a challenge in that to see if I can bet this years record? I'm am now on so strong antibiotics so hopefully it will do the trick and get ride of it once and for all.

I haven't been doing much, have just picked up a new book from the library - The Click Diet - will have a read and see if it's for me. It has a 2 week diet in it but as you all know, I'm not great at following set menu plans.

The house is coming along, just brought our Plasma bracket to put the plasma on the wall, its making my side board bow in the middle so the sooner we get that (I brought it on EBay) the better for my side board.

Dazza wants to start tiling the main bathroom however that room is yet to be painted, best I do that room next huh? What do you think, would a feature wall be OK in the bathroom or should I actually paint it a colour. At the moment I am painting everything in 1 colour Dulux Sago which is the darker of these 2 and sago Quarter for the the trim (lighter one).

I'm taking a little inspiration from Kerryn when I see that she is doing a green in the bathrooms, but I have a creamish tile over the vanity, bath and in the shower which I do not plan on removing so maybe I should just stick to my primary colours.

Anyway, I guess none of this is going to be done sitting on my butt ................

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
UPDATE:
Presenting Toffee Fingers, also a Dulux colour that I have as a feature wall in the lounge in flat, one thought, well I could use the same colour in the laundry and the bathroom only its in flat which isn't very good in wet area's, that is until I had a brain wave - doesn't happen often and when it does, it often causes me more money than its worth - but in having said that, I called the paint shop and then added another litre to my leftover flat paint in semi gloss and there you have it, a feature wall in the bathroom and laundry and it was only for an extra $20 dollars which is great as the original tin of "once" paint cost a fortune and at least it didn't go to waste. I also got them to take some from the tin before hand so I had touch up paint for the lounge flat plant.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

tomorrows a new day

That's right, once again, I will be embarking on the healthy eating plan to get this butt whipped into shape. Tonight ended my 'bad' food which is just fried chips with my dinner and a walk with the dogs, which I haven't done in some time. Silly Becky's collar broke so had to get her home to change into the harness and back out we were to catch up with Daz with the other 2 dogs, Molly and Humphrey. Boy that dog has grown. Humphrey turned 1 with week and slowly but surely I am seeing a change in him, which I am surprised about as they are normally a puppy until the age of 5 for the Alaskan malamutes, or maybe he is just having pity on me ;)

Now with all of the diets/healthy eating plans I have been on you would think I would know what to eat come tomorrow but still I am clueless. I know that I MUST start the day with breakfast but I get me head around good/bad, carb/protein and it all goes out the window. So I will start slow and steady, I have some yummy vanilla and almond stuff which will be nice for breakie, then I will have a boiled egg or 2 plus salad for lunch and then for tea will be meat and veg or salad, depending on the weather.

Even though I had been walking to the train station it didn't make a difference to my waist measurement but will have to continue to do that and see how it goes.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

a few weeks

Well it's been a few weeks since I visited the blog, sorry but there really isn't much to say when your not ttc. Its been over a month since we received the letter from DHS letting us know we are now officially waiting to be assigned a social worker for the assessment but it can take months, I will let you all know if anything more happens but at the moment it is a stale-mate.

Clothes

Yesterday I bit the bullet and placed some clothes on lay by, what's wrong with that you might say, well I had to come to terms with buying size 18.

This is not something I can do easily. I have been wearing my clothes that I have at the moment so long that they are starting to fall off me and that's not in the good way. The stitching is wearing thin, I have track pants that I have had since before my brother in-law passed which is over 5 years ago now and I am still wearing them. They have serviced their time and should have been gone a long time ago but I couldn't bring myself to except that I needed size 18.

I went through this when I had to stop shopping in Sussan's because I had to go from a 14 to 16, but now this is ridiculous. However I did try on some clothes and placed them on lay by, mainly because I feel like a bag lady whenever I'm out in the street!

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Its been over a week or so

since I wrote in my blog. I haven't really got much to say at the moment really. I stopped taking the Duromine after 2 weeks as I was feeling like crap taking it and I think it also affected my depression although I thought I was through it, taking the duromine seem to put me in a funk. Since then I have been eating allot of crap so really have to get back to basics, I know Kerryn I can hear you ;)

I read an interesting little article in the MX Mag that you can get at the train station on the way home, it went like this:

A SWEET WAY TO GET FAT
Splenda, the sweetener used as a sugar replacement, has been linked to weight gain by a study.
It also said it could dampen the effect of some medicines.
The sweetener, which is known generically as sucraiose and made from sugar, is the preferred sugar alternative of millions of dieters while used by top brands to create diet versions of popular products
But US researchers who fed rats different doses of Splenda found the rodents put on more weight than those not fed it.
So don't really know what to make of this, it doesn't state the study name or have a link to where you could locate it to check the facts, another thing that made me think of the results as being deceptive is that it also doesn't state whether the rats were feed NO sugar alternative, sugar or nothing, which of course would lead to the rats gaining weight as apposed to a rat who didn't consume any sugar.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Well here I go

I'm about to take off to the train station to go to the Melbourne Marathon, by now Kristy should be about to start her run, Go Kristy Go! Maybe I'll run into her today sometime.

Anyway, turns out only to be me and friend Daniel from work doing the walk.

As per usual everyone else piked out in the end, but trusty reliable Daniel is coming down by train from Geelong to do the walk with me. How nice is Daniel, even after knowing that everyone piked he still entered even though I tried to let him off the hook, he wouldn't hear of it.

Thanks Daniel.

So will see you on the other side :)

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Update on things

Well 1 week down on the pills and she has lost some weight. Today I am back in the 80's that God for that. 89.6 to be exact. Its not a huge number like I have been hearing from others, however I also know that I am probably the one who's doing it properly. Both my co-worker and niece seem to have the same symptoms but I don't???? However on talking to them, they both tell me they feel sick, dizzy and have dry mouth. I don't feel these except for the dry mouth later in the afternoon but I also put that down to working in a call centre in the peak of the day. Now my co-worker and niece have both told me that they could go the whole day and forget to eat! Well I wonder why they would be feeling sick and dizzy??

On the weekend we did indeed do some painting of the lounge room, still have to give some of it a second coat but it looks nice. My feature wall had me freaking out because as I was painting it, it looked like the pigment was coming out of the paint and pooling in spots, but once it dried it was OK.

We still have to do the second coat on the hall way and then start the bedrooms. Oh JOY.

Sunday, October 05, 2008

Did I say I like to paint?

I can't remember, but I'm starting to dread it.

Daz as become a painting machine, even when I don't paint, he will get out the paint brush and paint around me. Although he does cost me a fortune in paint. Remember how we have to undercoat the saude effect walls? Well I used 4lts to paint the kitchen, the entry way, the hall way and half the lounge room. Dazza opened a 2lts and has only managed to paint half the lounge room! How does that happen????

Today the lounge room painting will be completed (except for skirting boards which I am dreading, but that's another story for another day)

So after today we will only have to do:
  • undercoat main bedroom
  • undercoat spare room 1 (to be kids room)
  • undercoat spare room 2
  • paint 3 walls in main bedroom
  • paint last wall as feature wall in main bedroom
  • paint spare room 1
  • paint spare room 2
  • paint laundry
  • paint main bathroom
  • paint en suite
  • paint toilet
  • sand all wood work around doors, windows and skirting boards
  • undercoat all wood work around doors and skirting boards
  • paint all work work around doors, windows and skirting boards
  • paint ceilings in every room
  • take out ceiling fans in lounge room and main bedroom
  • bog in holes in ceiling where said ceiling fans once were
  • replace all light fittings throughout the house with energy saving down lights
  • look at cost to replace existing kitchen with brand spanking new one
  • look at new appliances if we look like getting new kitchen
  • order skip
  • pull up all floating floors
  • break all existing floor tiles
  • lay new floor tiles in entry, kitchen, bathrooms, laundry and toilet

I'm sure that there is more that I want to do inside but after this lot, might think about outside Phew

Saturday, October 04, 2008

maybe the last

So my friend Cathy called the other day to check our progress with DHS, she was also one of our references, after I told her we had received out letter advising that all of our applications, references and police checks were back so we were officially waiting for a social worker to be assigned to do the assessment, she reminded me that all going to plan, this could be my last birthday coming up as just me, Sue, wife of Darren, daughter of Floss and Les. I could be MOTHER next year. It could also be our last Christmas as a couple, next year we could be FAMILY. Imagine that, all those years of waiting, just waiting, expecting like other couples, that we would be family via the way of nature.

18 long years of waiting, finally could come to an end.

Next year we could be called mummy and daddy, we WILL be called mummy and daddy.

We are determined to be mummy and daddy.

I know it's crazy but

Its only October 4th and I'm thinking about Christmas. In particular the lunch and dinner. This year and it appears all future Christmas's will be held, you guessed it, at our house.

I hadn't really started to think about it until it dawned on me a bout a week ago that last year I was able to cater for most of it from my Chrisco hamper however this year, no Chrisco! So I thought I best just mention to mum that we had better start thinking about it for this year, you know plant the seed to see what she's thinking, where it will be held, it went a bit like this:

Clarkie (me): so mum, what are we doing for Christmas?

Mum: what do you mean?

C: well where are we having Christmas this year?

M: mmmm your place again.........

C: Oh.............

M: let me check with your father

C: OK, let me know

End conversation!

The next day I was at mum & dad's, so thought I should bring it up again, after all if it is at my place, I need to start planning, I don't have just a spare couple of hundred sitting around to rush to the shops once they make up their minds, it goes like this:

C: so dad what are we doing for Christmas?

D: I don't know

C: mum said that we will probably just have it at out place again this year........

D: I don't know, its too early to think about Christmas

C: What??????? (me thinking, mmmmmm if it was at your house you would have the ham on the bone already)

C: I need to start buying stuff if its at our house..............

D: silence.................

End of conversation!

So no answers really.

The next day, mum tells me that dad is worried that if its at our house we won't let my (shithead) nephew, his girlfriend/de facto and 2 gorgeous babies come............. mmm wtf? Actually it was dad last year that had a fight with him before even getting to my house, so dad stayed home and the nephew and family still came!

I don't know what it is about my sister though, she refuses to come to my house, we don't see each other very much anyway but she made her 2 son's also think that they weren't invited, hello its Christmas, no invites needed, just let me know numbers please :) So she will probably be a no show again this year but hr boys and their girlfriends will be with me, along with her daughter and new grandson. Poo Poo to her. Actually that sounds really sad, she will be alone except for her de facto, maybe I should make an effort, maybe she expects me to ask her, I don't want to but, why should I? I'll just tell her kids and they can talk to her, yep, that's what I'll do, if she comes she can but she will probably cut of her nose to spite her face.

So actually I think there was point to this post, what was it again..................

Oh that's right, Christmas dinner, so was thinking of traditional, dad hates the thought of BBQ, so thinking I will cheat this year and buy chicken pieces (last year I cooked chickens) will make mixed assorted veggies, broccoli and cauliflower bake, roast potatoes, we will have ham off the bone (might cheat on that as well) and mum will make roast pork. Not to forget that mum will make the traditional 5 trifles (don't know why people love the crap) and Christmas pudding with custard, or in Dazza's case ice-cream.

Now tell me everyone, how many chicken pieces per person should I order? I was thinking 2 but Dazza says 3 per person. Now out of the family we would have up to about 20 people, now out of the 20 would only be like 3-4 kids. I do think that I am allowed to cheat, after all I will be working the week of Christmas, including Christmas Eve and since the December roster isn't out, it could be a 7pm finish for me in the city, so don't think I will want to be up all night cooking.

Now I also don't now if I will buy presents or just give cash. Cash is so impersonal but its hard to get a good present for everyone, but I don't think there is any better scene than wrapped presents under the beautifully decorated Christmas tree. This could be our last Christmas alone actually, if our adoption assessment goes well and we are chosen quickly, we may have a bub next year. Now that's something to dream about.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

My new page

I have just decided that to have 2 blogs on 2 separate sites is too hard, now that we are going to adopt, whats the point of being secret about what we are doing. So here I will be, warts and all, waiting for our family to be formed.

Some where out there our baby could already have been conceived and we are just waiting to be brought together. Whether you are a boy or a girl, we are ready for you, our sweet precious baby-clarkie.

Oh My

I missed my own blogoversary! How sad is that? Thanks Teena for reminding me :)

So yesterday was 2 years to the day that I started this blog, it would have been more than that for being on the Sportblitz Forum where I originally met allot of the people I now talk to via blog land. Its if funny and sad that I started this blog with such good intentions and now I am at my heaviest instead of lightest which is where most of everyone else has ended up.

Over the years
Kerryn has told me its not lazy, just make 1 change at a time, well Kerryn I don't think its laziness either but a lack of will, not lack of will power but that lack of will to get off my arse and do what needs to be done to get where my imagination tells me to be.

Don't get me wrong, this is not a blog bash of myself but a realisation that I have come to. I was thinking about it last night on the bus home from work. Its not that I lack will power or that I am lazy, after all I'm constantly on the go doing various things but when it comes to having to think to much about what I have to do, it all seems to much so I class that as a lack of will.

Also on my blogoversary, by coincidence only, I happened to commence on the Duromine, 1 per day, they say it keeps you awake, I don't know about that, I went to bed at my normal time of around 8.45pm, slept for a good 2 hours but Dazza left the ducted heating on, so I just about dried out and had to get up to turn it off, went back to sleep but found myself laying there with my eyes shut for a good hour I think before I decided to get up. It was 4am!

So I got up, did the dishes, put on a load of washing, feed the cats and dogs and will wait another 1/2 hour and jump in the shower for work. Now you could think that was the pills but I have had instances like this before without the pills, will see what happens tonight, although I must admit, getting up this early isn't a bad think, when I let my cats out for a run this morning at 5am I noticed it was already light out, now if I hadn't gotten up, I won't have realised that it is now light at 5am ;)

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Its here

I received, finally my number for Melbourne Marathon
26368
So now you can watch out form me, although I am sure there will be a sea on numbers out there so not quite so easy to spot ;)
I also did get a prescription for Duromine but haven't brought it yet. When I asked the doctor for it he just nodded like, of course you need it. I told him I felt like a criminal asking for it, I think that's Kerryn's fault (not a bad thing Kerryn) because I know that she taught me well and that I know mentally that I am cheating and looking for the easy way out. But I will give them a go, once I can afford them and see where it takes me. Although it won't be before I can buy 8 litres of paint, because if its try that I will not want to sleep I should be able to get the painting completed in a few nights :)

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Thinking about ...........

My niece had me thinking the other day, she is looking at having the 'gastric bypass' thing and before that the duromine tablets. I started to wonder if I could be a candidate for either of those things? I checked my BMI as you can get the op for free if your BMI is over 40 and if you have health issues related to your weight you can qualify if your BMI is over 35. Mine is 32.5! Only 2.5 to go to get gastric bypass. Now that really makes you think. When people are saying, 'oh your not fat' well people, look at that number! I am nearly a candidate. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. On 1 hand it could be a easy solution to lose weight if I had a gastric bypass (although I'm sure there is problems that go along with it) but on the other hand, to think I am THAT fat :O

Even my nephew is looking at having it done, but he is mentally handicapped and doesn't understand the world of dieting, he thinks as long as he can fit the food in, he will just keep on eating.

I can understand my niece wanting it, she is that classic 'your face is so beautiful' kind of girl and her body doesn't match her beauty and her life. She has recently had a baby and it has just gotten well and truly out of hand. (this is the niece I always told you about Kerryn)

So on the other hand I was thinking about the duromine and found out a girl at work is taking them at the moment, I really can't see why her doctor would have prescribed them to her but he did, she is a short girl, aged I think about 23, and must be a size 12 at the moment. Then I think if I walk into a doctors to ask for them, that I'm doing something wrong. What's with my brain? Or is it my conscience realising that I am only being lazy and looking for the easy way out?

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Something else I learnt

Dazza is crap at painting, but don't tell him or I'll be doing it all myself.

As you may be a ware, or not, we are in the process of applying to adopt, so have all these jobs to be done before we get to the top of the list to be assessed which includes home visits. So I had started to undercoat the Suede effect paint on every wall in the god damned house but then that all stopped, over the time since I undercoated the hall, kitchen and the tops & bottoms of the entry way, Humphrey dog and his 'big hairy dirt coated body' has been sliding along, jumping on the walls. So whenever we had company over it looked like a complete mess! I was embarrassed to say the least. So yesterday morning I woke thinking about the walls which meant my brain just kept ticking over and over and over about the darn paint. So yesterday paint was brought and once home in the afternoon, the tins were opened and Dazza only had to undercoat a few area's for me that I hadn't completed in kitchen (behind the fridge) and the entry (the walls) and the new archway between the kitchen and lounge (remember we had to plaster up?) but I got to paint the new colour 'Sago' n the walls in the kitchen and hall way. I did 2 full rooms to her little undercoat and I swear he nearly used a whole 4Lt can plus paint all over the darn floor!

So thismorning while he is sleeping in, I will do a second coat on the hall and the kitchen and then we are off visiting friends.

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Something I learnt this week

I need at least 9 1/2 hours sleep a night to function during the day!

When you consider that I go to bed at 8.30pm on a normal day and sleep for 9 1/2 to 10 hours, that's not allot of time in between for work, cleaning, eating and exercising. When did my body clock decide that I need this much sleep? I don't remember the switch changing only the sluggishness that left after the first 10 hour sleep.

Am I getting OLD?

Maybe that's it, I'm going to be 40 in a few months, but don't they say that 40 is the new 30?

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Message for Friday

Hey Friday, if you are reading my blog still, can you email me, my email is on my profile page.

going crazy

Ok so some of you may say 'going???????????' but I have stayed home from work today with the stress of 1 paling coming off my fence, it may seem small but in a minute I will explain. The neighbour called out this morning about fixing the fence on our side because Molly who was 'destruction dog' has turned into the 'rounder upper dog', being that she is border collie she likes to round up the dogs on the other side of the fence, in doing this so that she can have a better look at them, she pulls the palings off the fence. So this morning as Dazza couldn't fix it before work we pushed the old deep freezer over to the fence. Now enter Humphrey the Alaskan malamute of course that breed like to jump and climb, they aren't known as escape artist's for nothing. But I digress, so I'm now worried that they will jump onto the deep freezer and be over the fence ............... with the Rottweiler. Ok so you may say that's a big IF. But ....................

2 weeks ago today actually, our other neighbour on the other side with Odie the Jack Russell came to our door to advise that 2 palings were off the fence and Odie was missing, could we please check our yard. Sure enough, there was Odie, only he wasn't moving! Poor little Odie was no longer with the living if you get what I mean. No one knows what happened, no witnesses of course, no puncture wounds to suggest, just a dead dog in the sand pit where everything goes to live as its Humphrey's favorite place.

So now you can see why I would be worried about the dogs and the side fence, it feels irrational but also I can justify it, it really does stress me out.

I've also seemed to have upset someone at work, really I don't care as I've been nice to this person for the past 12 months even though she has driven me crazy with all her sex talk, ex husband crap, new boy friend crap and other stuff that I won't go on about, but you know one of those people that you begin to realise that they are probably making up more than the truth with what they are saying. Anyway, we work in a call centre, inbound customer service which I pride myself on, but this person continually barks at customers, accuses them, belittles them and thinks she's justified. Out team leader has said something but of course as she doesn't like her, she doesn't listen, she thinks 'she's' justified to talk to customer this way! Anyway I gave her a gentle talk to about how to handle some of her hard customers, (which btw I don't think they are that hard) which she didn't seem to take on board. The next day after someone called being disconnected and trying to be put back on, all I could hear is her insulting them! I couldn't hear the person I had on the call beside her so once we were both off the call, I said, can you please not get so loud, if you had problems with that customer you should have put them through to the correct department or given it to a team leader, she again thinks she's justified in telling the customer off for not paying her bill, hello we are CUSTOMER SERVICE not credit! So after saying something to her, she turned around and under her breath but so I could hear, she says, 'oh that's right because I'm so crap at my job' and hasn't said a word since. I mean I am just about the only friend she has there and this is no wonder why. She sprouts off about crap and everyone turns off but because I sit next to her I have to deal with it. Today she is going for another job at another company and we all hope she gets it and gets the hell out of our work so we can go on and enjoy what we do.

Well what a rant that turned into, hey but don't worry, I'm not being doom and gloom, I'm really positive that I want her out :)

On to more about me, of course, the healthy eating is coming on a treat, I have been having the same thing everyday for lunch which I know I have to change soon or I'll become bored, I've had some issues with breakfast too, trying to work out something that isn't too many calories, in my head I don't want to use up too many calories for breakfast cause it limits my lunch and dinner choices, but I think I'm getting there, I have to get more exercise in but have to be mindful of my wrist which still gives me trouble, never really gone away but you have to get on with life don't you. So this is the point that I'm at, won't really know if its all working or not as I don't have a start weight which is probably a good thing for me not to get stuck on the numbers. You know October 1st is my Blog birthday, 2 years and I'm probably heavier than I have ever been. Geez I'm good at this aren't I? LOL

SORRY THIS WAN'T MEANT TO BE THIS LONG, THANKS FOR READING ALL THE WAY TO THE BOTTOM IF YOU GOT HERE THAT IS :)

Monday, August 25, 2008

DOOM AND GLOOM

I'm sick of all the dome and gloom on my blog, whats with that?

I today started to eat healthy again and I must admit I really enjoyed my dinner I must say.
I brought my food on the way to work and just prepared my lunch once there and also had my brekkie at work as well (sultana bran) but even eating healthy I have gone over my calories that I wanted to use today.

So brekkie was 3/4 cup sultana bran with 1/2 cup Pura lite start milk and 2 cups of coffee, one when I got up and one once at work. Lunch was 60gms smoked chicken breast with mixed salad, cherry tomatoes and mountain bread, oh and some philly cream cheese (which I will now be replacing with Greek style natural yoghurt) and dinner was 250gm chicken breast cooked in Nando's cook in sauce, mixed salad with cherry tomatoes, oven cooked wedges, Greek salad dressing and Greek style natural yoghurt. It doesn't seem that much but it adds up. Oh and I did have 2 mandarins and a can of Coke Zero.

From tomorrow I will be walking to the station again before work but must admit that I will be picked up at night time (me and my scared to walk in the dark, not to mention Dazza would like his dinner at a decent hour).

So I am over the doom and gloom for now until further notice. P.S. for those who were waiting to hear about my cyst's, well I am being referred to a breast clinic so until I'm told otherwise, I'm thinking that they will go away with positive thoughts.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Crappola

Recently I have had some issues in the breast area, it appears that I may have lumps. I am don't know what to feel about this. Originally I thought it was just in my mind but since the nagging pain didn't go away for 3 weeks I finally went to the doctors. Even though neither of us could feel the lumps, I was sent for an ultrasound anyway. It appears it is not all in my mind and if I had any doubt about it, I soon realised when I got home how sore I actually was after the ultrasound. After talking to my sister in-law who found she had many cysts at the start of the year, I am tending to believe what she tells me until further notice, that cysts hurt, cancer doesn't. I don't know how true it is but I don't have that much breast tissue to get rid of so am hoping she is indeed correct.

I will get the results tomorrow and will keep you updated

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Ok, so I will elaborate for you

The scene is set at work in a call centre ........................ the phones are quiet, its a Queensland public holiday in Queensland Metro ...................... the team leaders have all gone for a half day meeting and Sue decides to ask if anyone would do the walk?

So I sent out a team email, of course I got some snide remarks about ............ can we smoke on the walk? .................... can we drink alcohol instead of water in our bottles? ................. can someone roll me on a beer barrel? ............... the usual smart arse remarks, so the emails started to come back with a few Yes's, mostly No's. Once I told them that there was an entry fee' a lot more No's but still in the end, we ended up with 8 coming to the walk. I have entered our team name - Dukes of Hazzard, we will be dressing in theme - cowboys, our resident gay guy as Daisy, as you would. We are only doing the 5.5km walk, thought it a bit much to get them to do anymore, actually do think that all of the Yes's would turn to No's.

From tomorrow they can do their online entry under our team name. I think it will be so funny on the day and can just about guarantee that there will be a few hang overs on the day before the walk even begins :)

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

How did that happen - Part 2

How did it happen that instead of doing the 5.5km walk by myself I ended up with a team of 8?

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Not feeling fab

God why have I got this sore throat again so soon?

I only just got rid of it after having it for 3 weeks. I can't be bothered doing anything at all. The clothes are still on the line, others still in the basket waiting to be ironed, the bench is cluttered, the kitchen table is full, the floor needs to be swept and mopped....................... but I can't even be bothered to walk to the kettle to make me another hot drink, so I will just drink my cold coffee, at least that is cool on my throat.

I have been giving the Melb marathon some thought and will probably only do the 5.5k walk I think. Because I have been sick, I really haven't been out walking at all and since we are in Melbourne, the weather hasn't been walker friendly lately. In just over a week I will be back on the early shift so will get home from work earlier so that will be better for walking.

I do seem to have my mind full at the moment in relation to our application for adoption that it has taken up allot of my thinking space. But now that my life story is complete, we will probably have a good six months to wait until we would have a social worker assigned to us, so that will my time to relax.

We also decided to go back to Bali next year. What started as a surprise holiday for Dazza and myself, turned into taking both our mum's and now Dazza's sister and her 2 daughters (aged 14 and 10) joy :

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Ok, so how did that happen?

Well look what turned up in my letterbox Friday! I just put in on the bench with the rest of the mail and didn't look to see what it was until Saturday, then of course I thought, yeah right, and put it back down.


A little while later it looked as me again and I thought, that's what Kristy is going to do, like I could do that. But I didn't put it down. Although I know that I wouldn't do any run part, I did notice that I could do a 5.5k walk. The 10k didn't say if you could walk but instead of letting it go, here I am on the web page finding that you can walk it but you have to be at the first cut of within an hour. I have been able to map put my route around our main streets and it equals 5.2k which is exactly the same k's I would have to do in the hour and pretty sure I can make that.

So hence the title of this post 'where the hell did that come from?' me deciding to get my arse back into fitness? I've been semi-happy being a slob, even put on more kilo's, now at 92kilos and holding steady. I say semi-happy because of course I don't like being this big but really can't find any inclination to do anything about it. Until Now that is.


So yesterday out we went to go to the doctors for new medicals for our infant adoption, and then to the shopping centre to get Dazza's haircut (which we didn't) and I got me some shiny new Puma Cell runners. I still can't get over the 'I can't spend allot of money thing' so my new runners were on special for $80. My photo doesn't really do them any justice.
So now I just have to decide with route to do, 5.5k or 10k. Although my biggest problem has always been, to get my lazy but into the city at that hour of the morning which is normally still on the chilly side.

Saturday, July 05, 2008

Here I am

I know, I know, I have been lost but now I am found ;)

Yes the wall is finished and now I have to finish painting and laying tiles. Well I have started the painting, as for the tiles, well they are neatly stacked up outside.

I haven't really been doing much except for working. We haven't had internet access for a while and am only this week back online. Dazza is stuck on night shift so I'm home alone at night, you would think I would find something useful to do, like exercise, yoga, walking DVD's but no, not me. The non chocolate eater - and yes there are some of us out here - well has become a chocolate biscuit fend. So I watch crap TV and eat. well that's not entirely true. I get Dazza up in the morning to drive me to the train (the only time I see him in a day) then go to work, catch the train home, its dark, wait for the bus (sometimes 30 minutes if I miss it) then walk the part of the way home, feed all of my 5 fur babies (remember them 3 dogs, 2 cats) then make our dinner, wash the dishes, eat shit on the couch and go to bed and do the same the next day for 5 days running and then the weekend hits. Yay do the house work like washing. Can only do washing on the weekend when someone will be home or Humphrey (Alaskan malamute) who is getting bored with no walks, pulls them off the line for me, he is so helpful, if only he could keep them off the ground and put them in a clothes basket and bring them in the house instead of the backyard : I'm sure I can train him :P

So out with my mother shopping as I do every Saturday, she must weigh herself, you see he has so many illness and always has but in the past 12 months she can not keep weight on, she tries to eat allot but it doesn't help. He appetite is really low actually, so back to the story, she 'must' weigh herself, of course she does this without taking shoes or bulky tops or keys from pocket of mobile phone out of pocket - or is that just me? - well she always loses weight, where are I, with my chocolate biscuit phase manages to put on the weight. I hit 93 kilo's! yes that is now officially the largest I have been. I am slowly losing it, well after 1 week I was down to 91 kilo's. But anyway, the thing is nothing has changed for me, I'm still lazy.

I will start to read some blogs and you will notice that I will be back in action, leaving strange comments on others blogs :)

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Plastering almost completed

Yes Dave arrived late on Saturday, night on the piss will do that to a fella.

Top coat just about done on the plastering wall, he needs to come back on Monday night to finish it completely off. YAY

Painting, sure that was started, {{cough}}, mmmmm just waiting for another burst of energy.

Tiles collected along with 4 bags of grout from the tile seller. Fine fella.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Update

Well, don't know how it happened but Dazza tells me that his mate Dave will be over on Saturday morning to finish off the plastering. Thanks Kek for your 'tip' by the way :)

I have also just recently found in the Trading Post some tiles for sale, 30 boxes actually, which will do my 35m2 at the bargain price of $300, loving this, now I just have to lay them and yes, this is a task I will be doing once again. I have made a start on the painting today, well I started to do the tops and bottoms in the hall way, its going to be a big job to do by myself but hell it will be worth it in the end. Have to make a start since we have started our adoption training and DHS will be stopping by to check on our home and do our assessment in the near future.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Things I need to finish or start

I'm currently having 2 weeks off to do my adoption training although that only take 2 days but though what a great opportunity to have some quite time at home with Dazza working evenings.

So what do I want to do - well about 6 months ago a friend of Dazza's came over and helped us with plastering up a wall, the problem being is that he hasn't been back to complete the job. This now brings me to the point of the finishing. How hard can it be? Surely as long as I have directions from the finishing plaster box and the internet I can't go wrong?

I also want to repaint the interior of the house. Again, I've done this before, except the last time I painted I decided to go along with the trend and paint EVERY DAM WALL IN THE HOUSE WITH SUEDE EFFECT, was lovely when first done, everyone complimented me on the job we did. Now that I want to change it, its not that easy, hence why it has taken me so long. We had started to sand down the walls, that's right people, you need to sand it first. Those wonderful people at Dulux didn't think that far ahead! So I have been researching on the internet at the Renovator's Forum and think I have now found a solution and am willing to give it a go.

A note to all: DO NOT USE SUEDE EFFECT OR YOU WILL DO YOUR HEAD IN

So, now to just get it started. I will be running off to Bunnings this morning or even just the local Paint Spot to find out about this so called Dulux Ultrasmooth and also find out how much this magic stuff costs. Or I probably should also get some extra tips before starting/finishing the plastering. If anyone has any tips, feel free to comment and let me know the easiest way.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

A different way of thinking

Tonight I went for a walk to the fish'n chip shop for dinner, placed my phone order of a Mexican Sovalaki and then walked down to pick it up. I realised that she hadn't finished making it when I arrived. Then to my despair I realised that my savolaki that comes with bacon didn't appear to have bacon! I asked the lady kindly, ummmm is there bacon on that She said yes and then realised that she had left it on the grill. I probably shouldn't have bothered as I then realised that it was the size of ..................... I can't even think of the size it was it was that small. I was really upset that I have been ripped off all this time. After I walked home and fumed about the fact that they are not technically leaving it off the purchased item as advertised, but that she is probably doing me a favour not putting a huge piece on with allot of fat that I would later have to burn off and I still got the desired flavour I was after (however chilli sauce alone would have done that). However I now vow never to return to that fish'n chip shop and have also banned Dazza from using it to. That will teach them to rip me off.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Not much

Josh its been a week since I last posted. I haven't really been doing that much. Dazza's gone back to night shift so I'm all alone at night except of course for my fur babies, 3 dogs and 2 cats. He seems to have gotten away with having to do any chores that we had him doing like feeding the dogs, since I'm the one up in the morning to feed them unless I want them feed at lunch time and of course he's at work when they need to be feed at night! Anyway, won't dwell on that, not since I now have TWO weeks off work. YAY. Not really doing that much but do have finally our Training Days for Infant Adoption. It's only taken about 10 months to come around! I will also be having our back fence replaced and my hot water system repaired. Only had that leak for a bout 2.5 years. It's time to be fixed when you off peak usage is higher than you peak usage on your electricity bill. You would think I would have known to fix that a long time ago since I work for the electricity company but I had better things to spend my money on, like electricity bills. Actually may have to get my fridge door seals fixed to, must make a note to call them.

Exercise, well none existent, since Dazza is doing the night shift, I get him up to take me to the station (that's the only time I see him in a day) and then as its dark when I get back to my suburb and you know I'm a scaredy cat when it comes to walking in the dark, I take the bus home. So over these next 2 weeks will have to get my butt into gear, at least with getting to the local gym and maybe doing some cardio classes.

Friday, May 09, 2008

Never done this before but here goes

You may notice that I have added a 'Make a Donation' button to the side of my blog. Its not something that I feel completely comfortable with but with my age catching up I feel like I am now getting limited to what I can do in relation to making our family a reality.

So if you would like to help us out with the growing medical expenses that go along with IVF we would really appreciate it. After nearly 20 years of trying, it really does take a toll on you mentally, physically, emotionally and monetary, but without it where are we left, with no children which I don't wish on anyone who thinks that in time they would love to bring children into this world. Some would think that we could just adopt but that too is very hard in this country. If we choose to do Infant Adoption, it takes approximately 2 years to be approved and then it is up to the birth parent as to who they choose to be the parent. After the struggle to be approved and are finally chosen, you then can not just go off and be a happy family as with the laws today, the birth parents have the choice of visitation up to 6 times per year.

If we were to choose to do Inter-Country Adoption it can be anywhere up to $30,000 which includes our countries fees plus the adoptive countries fee's, you then need to pay for airfares, accommodation and spend up to 2 weeks in the chosen country. Of course you have to be matched with a child first but with the limits on babies each year from these country the chances of having our file in our chosen country before 2010 is non existent. Therefore in we could possibly be 45-49 before we are bringing home a baby. I am 39 now.

So I hope that you feel you know me a little better now and understand my yearning for a child to call my own.

Monday, May 05, 2008

What you see when your out (& don't have a gun)

So I went out as usual with mum on the weekend for our shopping but it turned into going to the movies. We went to see Nim's Island which wasn't that great and I ate a whole mid size popcorn to myself. Popcorn is my weakness. Afterwards of course I needed the bathroom, those huge Cokes from the movies are just too big. Well anyway, on the way out of the bathroom, mum wanted to weigh herself. As I have stated before my scales are on the blink so couldn't weigh myself at home. Mum tells me, get on I have change I want to get rid of. Great! Shoes, jumpers and all, what does it tell me. 91.5 kilos and 172 cms tall (hello I am not 172cm but 170cms) Your OVERWEIGHT. Thanks for that insight. Mum jumps on and is 79.5 kilos, oh good she says, I've put on some weight! You see for no reason at all, my has been losing weight steadily for the past couple of months. Not that it would kill her but it is a puzzle, well not really since she doesn't eat that much really. She loves her iced coffee but drinks heaps of water too. Anywho, I really didn't need to know that I weigh 91.5 kilos (my heaviest ever) although I do not know whether to believe this digital scale outside of the ladies toilet. I choose not to believe.

Sunday, May 04, 2008

What dogs do

Humphrey is so vain! He saw himself in the glass and had to take a seat just to keep watching himself! I swear he got so close I thought he was going to lick his reflection.

Saturday, May 03, 2008

Inspiration

Just when you thought you couldn't do something? Here is a guy to show that with a little effort we can manage anything.

Today I had a weird day, I woke up with really puffy eye, that's right just 1 eye. I woke Daz to find out if he hit me through the night because it was half shut. It has come down some what but will be interesting to see if the same thing happens tomorrow morning.



Thursday, May 01, 2008

Not much to say

Thanks everyone for your comments, I think its the most I have received since starting my journey on 1 post :O

I am finding it hard to get the jogging in I must at admit as when I come home from work at 5.30pm, I start cooking, eating, sit for a bit and in bed by 8.30pm ready to be up at 5.30am for Dazza and me to leave at 6.50am. But at least I am getting the walking in the morning so it has to have some benefit. I will definitely be doing the dog 6km walk at least twice this weekend, it did us all allot of good last weekend although I must admit my legs were a little sore after both. anywho have to leave for work again.

Chao

Sunday, April 27, 2008

More walking

Today I continued on my renewed effort to lose weight. As I generally feel guilty leaving the pooches at home I decided to walk them all separately giving them some mummy time and mummy so good exercise. We have a couple of different routes with which to shake it up, Becky being the smaller of the 3 got a 1.6 km walk around our block. And Molly and Humphrey both got the longer walks of 2.25kms and Humphrey got a 2.3km walk.

Yesterdays C25K was actually 2.3kms of intervals, so over the weekend all in all a good amount of walking I think. So if I can keep up this walking of the dogs separately I should be able to make a dent in those thighs of mine as well as that 98cm waist measurement :O

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Don't Judge Me BUT

Ok, I am the first to admit that I can find an excuse to NOT do something. That something has been dieting (healthy eating) but again I have failed myself. The next has been exercise (in any form). I wanted to start running but never got off my arse to do it. It sounded great in theory but practically not going to happen. What happened to that spark I had 12 months ago? I WANT to lose weight but my WANT has turned into a NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT. I am struggling to keep my head above water now. Between the need to have a child, stress over money, need to lose weight, I'm drowning. It's funny but I think it all stems from the childless thing. How will I come to grips with it? I don't know but I do know that if I do not lose some or all of this weight I am probably pushing shit up hill. Even with adoption you have to be in the healthy weight range and I am nothing like it. I can't weigh myself as the scales have decided to give up the ghost which isn't a bad thing altogether I guess. I have a confession to make as well. Kerryn are you sitting down? I went and brought Medislim. I haven't been able to stick to it but I blame you for that, you taught me how to eat healthy and now my brain is stopping me from doing it. I had one drink on Thursday morning, had half a protein bar for morning tea but the thought of having another shake at lunch just wouldn't cut it. I need FOOD. I have a weeks worth of product so will use it for a week, (I'll try anyway) and then that's it.

I also didn't do the C25K either but did try it this morning. I was going ok but couldn't run the last 2 intervals and I think about 3 of the others I couldn't run the whole 60 seconds but possibly did at least 45 seconds of those ones. On the up side I did run, I think 3 whole intervals or maybe it was 4 but that's an improvement on NONE. I not only could not breath, which I find essential, but i had like a stress headache at the back of my head, like too much blood was running and I thought I could have had a stroke. Well I could have! So I felt unsure of running when it felt like my head was going to explode. My heart rate monitor got to 94% so think that even though I didn't do it all by the book I must have worked.

So that's one day down, the podcast advises 3 times a week with a day break in between. So will try just to get out and walk at least on the other days.

Found this on a friends blog for all you coffee addicts

The Caffeine Click Test - How Caffeinated Are You?
Created by OnePlusYou

Monday, April 14, 2008

Funny


It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds.
As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon?two little old ladies sitting in a used?car.
He stopped and asked them why they were sitting there in the car. Were they trying to steal it?
"Heavens no, we bought?it."
"Then why don't you drive it away."
We can't drive."
Then why did you buy it?"
"We were told that if we bought a Used car here we'd get screwed ...so we're just waiting.

?

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Thanks

I just wanted to say thanks for the comments on the running and the links. I also let my fingers do the walking last night on the internet and came up with the C25K - Couch to 5k it even has a podcast of a guy telling you when to run and when to walk, so have downloaded to my ipod shuffle week one and I'll be off and running hopefully shortly. Dazza even piped in to say that I had better get him an ipod so that he can do it too! I may have my running partner after all. Although I know that won't last. I also keep having a recurring dream that I am weighed and I am at 66.1kg. One where I am weighing myself and another where I am on a ride and it goes through a weigh bridge of sorts, similar to those you pass on the highway for speed. hey maybe its my mind putting it out to the universe that I am that size and its going to bring it to me, I read that in The Secret the other day and thought, what a crock of sh*t, but maybe my mind has taken over................

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Just a short update

Kristy has asked me about my 'RSI' and how its going so thought better to answer it here since maybe others could use the information.

Well Kristy, I still have the condition however not as bad, actually almost gone. I have been seeing an Osteopath as Kek had suggested and after the first visit I really felt a difference. However not all session have had the same result. Slowly but surely I am getting to the end of the soreness and will probably go back to full hours next week. The RTW officer also raised my desk at work so that my back is straighter, I have a 'Evoluent' mouse for my right hand but did the same as you are doing by using my left hand for mousing for a long time until my symptoms reduced in my right. All I can say is that you will need to rest it and that means not inflaming the tendons in your wrist so you may not be able to do weights with that hand. But again it would be better to see someone like an Osteopath and they will be able to walk you through the do and don'ts.

Hope this helps and that it gets better real soon. Thanks for all the info you have passed onto me also with the running :)

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

This will sound strange but

I've been day dreaming, sort of. I would really like to learn to jog/run but really do have trouble with the breathing/heaving thing, but even today when walking to the train station I could have just about broken out into a run. Sounds silly doesn't it? I think allot of my resistance to jogging/running is how silly I actually look. I sometimes think when I do give it a go that I'm just stupid as I just can't do it!

But watching the Biggest Loser tonight and hearing Alison say that once she had the weight back on (in sand bags in her backpack) that she felt all of her original emotions coming back. IE I can't do this, this is too hard, I'm just stupid, just give it up, you can't do it. I realised that these are things that I say to myself. But lately my mind has been playing tricks on me, making me think that I can do it and feeling like breaking into the run. I start to do it and then realise that 'what am I doing? you can't do this' and then I'm back to walking and eating chips.

I am my own worst enemy, I don't need others to make me feel bad, I do a great job of my own. I really don't have a great deal of friends and the one that I did have, have now slowly had kids and due to my lack of being able to have them, I have slowly drifted away from them without them noticing, therefore have a lack of friends or people to have like a running buddy to keep me on track. I am not one to be motivated by chats on the email to keep me in check as I can lie like the best of them, but don't know what else I can do. I will have to try and make a commitment to myself to try and run each night. I know all about the walk/run thing, try up to the light pole and walk a light pole but, after one night it's all out the window. God I wish I could do this!