Monday, March 23, 2009

is it just me

Or do others get depressed reading adoption stories?

I have borrowed some books from the library in the past, the one I have at the moment is The Lucky Ones which is about people telling their stories about adopting from China, but after reading the first one or two, I have to put the book down because I find myself getting depressed. I guess its just that it seems so far away for us that I feel its never going to happen.

The same thing happened when I read books on IVF, I know that it doesn't happen for everyone, we are living proof of that, but reading others stories whether successful or not, just depresses me.

Just thought I would throw that out there and let it just be......................

Times getting away

I can't believe the last time I blogged was in January!

I guess the only reason I'm blogging today is because I am off work and going to take Dazza to the doctor's. Poor Dazza fell over on Friday and as the stoic male, didn't want to go to the doctor's but with the constant complaining and carry on I'm making him go today. It's swollen like a football and must be painful, especially when the drugs wear off. He stated that he heard it 'pop' on the day and can feel crunching as he tries to walk on it. Me thinks this is not quite right. I'm thinks x-ray or ultrasound is going to be needed.

Its funny but Dazza gave me a back handed compliment last night. His sister was over and was talking about getting a treadmill or one of those vibrating things. One of her friends has one and told her how she had lost like 3 kilos in a matter of days. I find this hard to believe but we are talking about someone who is well and truly about 130 kilos.

To the backhanded compliment, Dazza says 'you should ask Sue cause she knows lots about exercise, it just hasn't reached her butt!', hmm hello, Sue in the room (or is that an elephant in the room?)

So I guess that answers your questions, no I haven't been doing much. We have however pulled up the floor boards in the entry, dining room, kitchen and removed the old tiles from laundry, toilet, bathroom and en suite and started laying the new tiles. Now that's a bit of work that's for sure.

Well best be on the run, have to call the doctors and Dazza on the road to recovery.


I'm wondering if my imagination is getting away from me?

I've been imagining that we will not be approved to adopt and that we will go back to IVF. I know this must be part of my imagination because if we couldn't afford it before the adoption process, what makes me think we can after?

Some times I think that I can cope to be childless but others I can't think of anything worse in the world to have to live my whole life without that love of a child that is yours.

I think I am just hormonally emotional as today is day 30 of my cycle and although I feel like she's coming there is no sign of her showing up. Although it would just be the best to find out we were pregnant, I just can't see that ever happening.

I wish with all my heart and soul that we could be like other couples that fall pregnant out of the blue, where family and friends say, 'see we told you if you just relax it will happen', I just wish that would happen but that part of my brain is over ruled my the sensible part that knows best.

To just keep me feeling low, my nephew's girlfriend, remember the one that has 2 kids already before he was 18, yep, their pregnant again! What the hell is that about?

The only think that keeps me sane is that I think in the next life I must have learnt my lesson in this one and will be able to have a million kids. Oh and I also blame it on the Duggers, they have what 18 kids now? Its because they have an 'in' with God and they have taken all of the baby quota for them selves!

Monday, March 09, 2009

And that would be 3

I forgot to let you all know that we are now number 3 in line for the worker to be assigned to us for the adoption process. Things seem to be moving right along at the moment, by June I'm sure we will be assigned. Then it's just the actually going through everything to get approved. I'm hoping all of our 'home improvements' will be completed by then. At the moment we have pulled up all of our floor boards in the entry, kitchen, dining room, pulled up the existing tiles in the laundry, bathroom, toilet and ensuite to lay our new tiles. I think they will look fab since we started to lay them in the entry way but then when Dazza's friend came over, he said they don't look so ........... professional! So they will be laying tiles together tonight I believe............ but I will believe it when I see it. For my part, I think I will start moving the tiles around to the back door so they have no excuse as to not do them. Do you know how heavy a pack of 330x330 tiles are? Really heavy!
Other than that, i really haven't been doing much but working. Hard to believe since I haven't been blogging everyday like I used to and nothing else has changed. Oh well, better go, things to do...........