Saturday, March 27, 2010

A little embarrassed

I can't believe how I have let myself go again. I know that the weight is still the same and my flexibility is crap but this is ridiculous!

I had to do a physical for my job on Thursday and remember it is now Saturday.......... well it started badly I guess at my own hands.

I worked the day and finished at 1.30pm, so I have not had any lunch at this time. I had to drive practically from the Melbourne airport to Port Melbourne, basically where the Spirit of Tasmania comes in. On the way I passed a KFC, which of course I did go through the drive through, it was lunchtime after all. I didn't think at the time that I was doing anything wrong but in hindsight, well.

So the part that I am embarrassed about.......

I had to do 10 squats holding a milk crate with some weights in it, I guess maybe up to 15 kilos in it. 10 squats, I remember doing a whole heck of allot more than that before.

Well lets just say, 15 and I think my saying of 'the toilet is not my friend' would have been back.

I can't believe how out of shape I really must be, it really is a wake up call. I can't believe that 10 squats has made me think about taking STRONG pain medication. Once I start with that medication I find it difficult to stop, love the buzz from them. So I resisted and have taken some panadol but am still in shock that 10 squats has reduced me to.

I did join a gym 2 weeks ago and shame on me, I haven't been once. After this though I really have to make the time to get there and stop making excuses for why its too hard.

I think back only say 2 years ago and I was 84kilos and wanted to lose the weight, I was embarrassed at the sight of myself, now I'm 95 kilos on a good day. I think I will be in for a great deal more pain in my near future but I hope that I can stick to it, that's my problem, I love to think about how I will look once I lose 40 kilos, but I still seem to sit on the couch and watch the Biggest Loser eating good knows what junk.

First step will have to be to start cooking more. I do love to cook but when you have a husband that really doesn't like much unless its junk food, it really isn't inspiring to cook really nice things and see them still on the plate when he takes it to the bin and then later makes a sandwich :(

1 comment:

Kristy said...

Really sorry to hear Sue and I can really relate. I know I haven't put that much weight on, but it is creeping back to where I was and I don't feel good in myself either. I find it frustrating that we have to work so many hours a day, which doesn't allow us the time we need to cook and clean. In the older days the women stayed home and cooked and cleaned, but today we are meant to do both. It is very hard as I get home starving and then have to cook dinner. Sorry having a bit of a rant, but I am in a similar situation. Except I don't have to cook for someone who would doesn't eat it.

Do you have an option of just cooking for yourself? Cook a little bit extra so you can have it the next night as well?

Take care