all falls down.........

OK so I haven't been here for a couple of weeks and since then my walls crumbled down.

I had been feeling a bit sad, for no apparent reason but after the first day off from work it seemed that there was no going back. For some reason everything was too much and I couldn't stop crying but I didn't know why. That day I made the big decision to go my GP and open up about the thing I had been doing to myself to cope. After a while speaking to my GP it was decided that I would start taking some anti depressants and maybe start to see someone that I could talk to. The funny thing was I didn't think I had anything to talk about. But when you start to look deep inside, you know that there is stuff that needs to come out but you were just to scared to say them out loud. So 2 weeks later, I'm taking the little pills and am yet to see a difference, they say they can take anywhere from 3-6 weeks to see any effect.

I have also been seeing and hearing people talk about 'The Secret' and thinking its something that I need to invest in. That's investing in yourself. I have even noticed in small ways other talking about similar things, like on Kek's BFL thing Blog and at work with sales training, it started off about 'you' and how you attract certain things. Its everywhere and about time I opened my heart if I want what everyone else seems to have already woken up to. Enlightenment.

A walking we will go

So I'm on the later than early shifts, not the late late but the later than early. I really like my early shifts as I get to do more at night time, not to mention that the Biggest Loser is on at 7pm and I miss it for a WHOLE week! But got home about 8pm last night and Dazza had a visitor, but with our new found committment, off we went for a walk, took about an hour, to the supermarket to get milk, cat food and pita chips for me (naughty, ate the lot about 422cal) and back again but it does us all good I think. The only problem was that I had to carry all of the stuff back and for over a KM it starts to get a bit heavy. but you know what, when we got back I realised I already had cat food and probably enough milk to do us for another day. Oh well, we still needed the walk.
Little Miss Becky and Molly had their new pick and red harness's on, how cute. I will have to get a photo tonight.

So I'm back with a new zest

Ok so here I am again, with a joint mission.

1) to lose weight so that my BMI is below 25

2) to complete an IVF cycle and be as the image above

So I have started walking alot more, especially with my puppies and my other half Dazza. I have been trying to eat healthly and drink heaps of water, some times it works, and some time not soo much. Here I will be accountable for what I DON'T do and give myself a pat ont he back for the things I do suceed with.

I will currently be undertaking a IVF cycle on the 25th of march with Synarel to start with for about 9 days.