OK so I haven't been here for a couple of weeks and since then my walls crumbled down.
I had been feeling a bit sad, for no apparent reason but after the first day off from work it seemed that there was no going back. For some reason everything was too much and I couldn't stop crying but I didn't know why. That day I made the big decision to go my GP and open up about the thing I had been doing to myself to cope. After a while speaking to my GP it was decided that I would start taking some anti depressants and maybe start to see someone that I could talk to. The funny thing was I didn't think I had anything to talk about. But when you start to look deep inside, you know that there is stuff that needs to come out but you were just to scared to say them out loud. So 2 weeks later, I'm taking the little pills and am yet to see a difference, they say they can take anywhere from 3-6 weeks to see any effect.
I have also been seeing and hearing people talk about 'The Secret' and thinking its something that I need to invest in. That's investing in yourself. I have even noticed in small ways other talking about similar things, like on Kek's BFL thing Blog and at work with sales training, it started off about 'you' and how you attract certain things. Its everywhere and about time I opened my heart if I want what everyone else seems to have already woken up to. Enlightenment.