I can't believe I let myself down yesterday. Well actually I probably can believe it, its what I do.

I couldn't help myself, I think its my emotions eating the nearly full 'hot stuffed olives' and a packet of microwave popcorn and strawberry short cake ice cream plus some other icy poles and a white wrap with cream cheese, salad and ham. I probably would have eaten more if I had more junk to have eaten.

Why my emotions? Well I know when I am bored I eat, when I'm stressed I eat, when I'm lonely I eat.

I got a call on Friday night from dad to tell me mum needed to go back to the hospital. She had had her follow up appointment after her bout of sepsis last month and it showed in the blood work that her kidney function had decreased again my 50%, which might not be a problem but when your kidney function is already 50% lower than a healthy person that's a problem. When she was originally taken in last December and was near death her kidney function was at 14%, this week without her even realising she was sick it went to 20%. Also her blood work indicated that there is a infection happening again where they do not know yet, just like last time. You would have thought that when she had the chills and shivering but feverish for 2 nights running that she would have had a clue but she didn't. Now she is laid up again in the hospital but thankfully not in ICU.

To add to that, Daz has also lost the job that he has been at for 6 months but luckily had been successful in another position before he was laid off, it just saved him the worry of having to quit.

I too have 2 interviews this week, so hopefully I will be in full time work very quickly and have to stop being the lady of leisure of only working part time. It was good while it lasted.

Confused about

I went to my first hypnotherapy session on Thursday.

We talked for ever and did a bit of hypnosis. I don't know if it worked however the therapist believes it did. I can remember the session which she said I probably would, but remember giggling through some parts which is why I'm unsure if I really did go into a trance like state.

The therapist doesn't know if there will be anything there like D*HS thinks there will be but she will try to delve in and find out. I might have been fighting the going under because I was really nervous. I didn't think I that I would be but I guess if I had started this for the weight loss I probably wouldn't have been nervous, but to go under to try and find something so bad that I had to lock it out is really scary. I don't think that there is anything there either but will continue to go so satisfy D*HS.

On another note, it looks like Daz might be on thin ice at work. I don't know what we will do if that happens again. What can we do, he just has to pick himself back up again I guess. There is hardly any positions being advertised for what he does but the ones that are there he is applying for. Funny enough his current employer told him Thursday night that he might get put off but then got mad when on site on Saturday he made a comment that he would work for the site people if they wanted him. His employer can't have it both ways.

At the moment we are just trying to keep our heads above water financially and have just paid off our aircon/heating. Next is Daz's car and out new hot water service. Then I think I can breath easy, for a while anyway.

What the hell?

I was just laying on the couch recovering from my back soreness when I saw something on Rachel Ray....... was unsure of the guess in front of me and the info button stated it was Rupert Everett............I don't know about you but I fell for this guy in My Best Friends Wedding and he don't look anything like the before...............
Bring back the good looking one please. If that is what plastic surgery can do, you can keep it thanks.

no job for me :(

no job for me :(

on the up side, I have taken the dogs for 3 walks in 2 days

weigh in

93.7 kilos yesterday, loss of 1.7 kilos

Yes I am happy with that but can't wait for my weight to drop below the 90's and back into the 80's

I think it went well

Just now gotten back from the interview which I think went really well.

They did ask if I wasn't successful at the branch I applied for would I be interested in another branch? Sounds promising, will know probably Monday or Tuesday ................

I think it went well

Just now gotten back from the interview which I think went really well.

They did ask if I wasn't successful at the branch I applied for would I be interested in another branch? Sounds promising, will know probably Monday or Tuesday............

you know when

you do something and then you stop and wonder why you did it at all??

That's what I'm going through right now.

I applied for a new job, got an email to be advised that they would be in contact within 3-4 weeks and then got a call today, the same day!

Why am I wondering why ............... well I am working part time at the moment and that is working for me, but this new job is back in a bank which I left some 15 years ago ( not same bank) and is full time. Just when I started to think about going back to IVF or travelling overseas for donor egg IVF or doing the counselling that DHS want me to do.

The interview is on Friday, now I have to make my mind up if I want to go .......

you know when

you do something and then you stop and wonder why you did it at all???

That's what I'm going through right now.

I applied for a new job, got an email to be advised that they would be in contact within 3-4 weeks and then got a call today, the same day!

Why am I wondering why........... well I am working part time at the moment and that is working for me, but this new job is back in a bank which I left some 15 years ago (not same bank) and is full time. Just when I started to think about going back to IVF or travelling overseas for donor egg IVF or doing the counselling that DHS want me to do.

The interview is on Friday, now I have to make my mind up if I want to go ....

putting it out there

ok

deep breath in and out

I have weighed myself today

I can't believe the scales

I do believe the scales, who am I kidding

now I know I've said before I have never been this weight before but this is again true :(

the number. . . . . . .


95.4 kilos = 209.8 pounds = 15.02 stone

just saying

just putting it out there

Almost forgot

to tell you mum's home from hospital. She was released last Wednesday arvo. She still has the wobbly leg issue going on so is just staying home and building her strength back up. While in hospital she lost some weight which I suspect was a bit of muscle mass in the legs, especially with all that fluid she had that was leaking from her leg wound.

Me, I'm just blah. My ankle is hurting from I don't know what but haven't had a chance to go to the doctors yet but might be able to get to the clinic today however suspect that they will just give me pain medication which I can get over the counter anyway. Work also has a physio that I think I can use so will find out about that on Monday.

The baby options aren't moving along any which way, DHS are being painful and the line in the sand that they keep on drawing, keeps on moving. I'm going to sign up for hypnosis, on my terms, to get rid of my fears and phobia's, will utilise it for weight loss as well. No if only I could learn enough to use it on Daz to stop him smoking 2 PACKS A DAY!