I've made my mask for the Ball

Its amazing what you can do with just a few things frm Spotlight, this baby ended costing about $13.25, better than the $40-$100 that could have been spent.

Why?

Sometimes I ask myself 'Why me?' or even 'Why not me?' this all relates to the fact that we can't have children and have tried all means, and I mean all means, currently on the adoption roller coaster. When I get a phone call from a 'young' relative, who is too scared to tell me that she is pregnant. I can understand her hesitation to tell me, she was just about brought up by me and know of all of the difficulties that we have faced and am still facing.

Let me fill you in on some background. She is technically 'obese', had been advised recently in the last 12 months that she has PCOS. This is fine as she isn't planning on having kids yet anyways, needs to have a steady boyfriend first but of course being 'young' she has plenty of time. Because of this fact that she isn't planning on having them anytime soon anyways, she has been on the contraceptive injection for about 5 years now. So she has been on her merry way doing what she does. She is living between her dad's sisters place and her own mums lounge room couch, not a home to call her own. Has now found a guy who appears to worship her, after all they have been together for about mmmmmmmmmmm 3 minutes! OK about 3 months but still not long enough to know if its going to stick.

She calls me yesterday to see how I am, all I'm thinking is now what, what is it that I have that you need. Remember I took her to the Pink concert, had to pay for her ticket and dinner to only end up with her crap the next day. Anyhow, she has something to tell me..................................... she does the guessing game, as a young person does.

Her: guess
Me: I don't know
Her: guess
Me: What
Her: guess
Me: I don't know, your pregnant, engaged, getting married
Her: yeap
Me: what engaged?
Her: pregnant 8 weeks 3 days

What can I say??? Are you keeping it? What about the new BF, what did he say? What about his parents? What about your mum? (not that she would care another single mum's pension to be rolled out)

It turns out the BF has said if she keeps it they will get married and get their own place (he lives with his parents, good Maltese boy), if she gets rid of it they will go their separate ways (doesn't sound right to me??) His parents are OK about it NOW, bit at first not to darn happy. They apparently really like her at the start. I don't know who they think will pay for the wedding as her mum can't even pay for dinner at a restaurant, even for herself let alone the whole family. I paid for the deb when she lived with me and I ain't paying for the wedding.

So I am feeling really low and sorry for myself. I even went for drinks after work for a friend who is leaving work at TGI Fridays, you know I had 2 Margaritas and 1 non juice type drink plus chicken quesadilla's (not best choice) to drown my sorrows. We have a ball for work this Friday the 3rd of August and I even think I will go to that. I am having an arm wrestle with myself at the moment and the going is winning against the not going side. I don't know but I could do with the good time and wallowing in self pity cocktails.

so sick of.......

Today/tonight I came to a realisation about something. After telling Livy she was doing a great job cutting out her coffee and saying I wouldn't be without it, I think I will have to try and cut back. You see I feel like my teeth are always stained. I don't smoke so its not for that, I don't drink tea often so not that, it can only be the coffee. So I think that I will have coffee in the morning before work and before brushing of the teeth and only after I return home at night, that way they will be brushed before bed removing any staining that same night. It will be hard but I think in the end cheaper than going to the dentist for whitening.

I think I did well this week so far with the gym, on Monday I did lower body and I have decided that I have been a pussy about the weights that I am using so increased it a bit, by Tuesday I could feel the muscles. Tuesday night was cardio, treadmill on incline, by Tuesday bed time, I was ceasing up if I sat for too long. Today being Wednesday it was upper body, and if I wimp anywhere it is the upper body weights, I am so weak in the upper body. Tonight however I think I might have made a slight improvement. I continued to fatigue. Yay is me, except tomorrow I will probably be crying when I can't lift my arm over my head :( but the little birdie tells me 'when you break it, it gets bigger and stronger' something I had forgotten until reading it again on Livy's page, some wise lady once told us................

So I went to the supermarket once again tonight and brought my special nightie nite pills, I've taken 2 and am just waiting for them to kick in. I will read a few blogs before that happens.

Update

Things are going OK on my BFL challenge, my friend at work tells me daily what day we are up to. She is so upbeat, the type of optimism that you can only aspire to, you know who you are :)

Tonight I felt like something a little different and probably over eat with my calories but it was nice. I made Asia@home Laksa. I added a chicken breast and coriander and have enough for another meal. I do think the coconut milk was not lite milk :(

My free day also seemed to go a little overboard. I had my Big Mac meal, microwave popcorn, licorice, nearly a whole packet of Tim Tams, coke and I made chili con carne burritos for dinner. I don't think the dinner was all that bad as the meat had nearly no visible fat and there was no other fat added, it was all rolled by in a burrito with lite sour cream and lettuce. I had that for lunch today also.

I haven't missed a day of exercise at all, although I think that I can increase my weights as I am only lifting light weight. Yesterday when doing lower body I increased the hand weights when doing my squats and I can definitely feel my quads today. I did the treadmill tonight for cardio and can still not run on the treadmill due to the fear of falling factor but am increasing the speed and incline. I can feel it in the quads again with the treadmill and after sitting for a while tonight could feel that I was beginning to stiffen up.

I have reverted back to the not much sleep pattern as Dazza is now using the front door to come in from work after the dogs escaped via his entrance route however tried my best not to blame him. Although the trouble for me now is that the front door is at our bedroom window so I hear him no matter what time he comes home and I am a lite sleeper :( I forgot to buy more of the Valerian tonight when at the supermarket so am really kicking myself but think I will be able to cope for another night at least.

Well I am off to read a few of the other brillant ladies that we have here in blog land.

I've been a bad girl I think.................

Last night I got the munchies, I di end up eating things that were not on Bob's list :O like: mountain bread made into chips, rice cakes with Phillie cheese (not thickly spread) with ham, a hand full of chips with my fish from fish n chip shop and a whole heap of almonds. It may not be as bad as I'm thinking and I'm hoping that someone will tell me that I didn't overdo it. I must admit that I didn't eat 6 meals in the day so maybe this is ok and compensates for the less meals? Could this be so???

I definately do not want last night to be my free meal day as I am looking forward to a Big Mac and licorise icecream and I don't know what else yet

We got a new pet

So last Sunday I saw the most beautiful Rottweiler, little girl at 10 weeks old. I so nearly got her but changed my mind as I was having doubts. After all I can't control Domolition dog let alone a new 50 kilo ball of muscle. So you ask, what pet did we get then???


I think it should be called shovel because if I see it out of its enclosure, thats what I'll be calling for. Dazza told me to keep an eye on it tonight and if I want to take it out of the enclosure, to shut the door first cause it will be hard to catch! Like thats gunna happen. We still don't know its sex but will have it sexed when it gets a bit bigger. Its real name is a Stimson 'childrens' python, its life span is 25-30 years! its only 4 months now. It should only grow to a metre long. It eats frozen 'fuzzies', that would be mice, once per week.

Its offical

I've been to the doctor who has told me that I have Sinusitis. I've had this before a few years ago so thought that this could be it again. He told me to drink more water! How can that be possible, I drink heaps now, but apparently when you have this, at night time you breath through your mouth which loses 20% more fluid making you dehydrated causing the headaches.

So this also explains the cracked dry sore lips that feel like footballs. Drink more water, if it was that simple when you are already drinking over 2 litres a day.