Saturday, July 28, 2007

Why?

Sometimes I ask myself 'Why me?' or even 'Why not me?' this all relates to the fact that we can't have children and have tried all means, and I mean all means, currently on the adoption roller coaster. When I get a phone call from a 'young' relative, who is too scared to tell me that she is pregnant. I can understand her hesitation to tell me, she was just about brought up by me and know of all of the difficulties that we have faced and am still facing.

Let me fill you in on some background. She is technically 'obese', had been advised recently in the last 12 months that she has PCOS. This is fine as she isn't planning on having kids yet anyways, needs to have a steady boyfriend first but of course being 'young' she has plenty of time. Because of this fact that she isn't planning on having them anytime soon anyways, she has been on the contraceptive injection for about 5 years now. So she has been on her merry way doing what she does. She is living between her dad's sisters place and her own mums lounge room couch, not a home to call her own. Has now found a guy who appears to worship her, after all they have been together for about mmmmmmmmmmm 3 minutes! OK about 3 months but still not long enough to know if its going to stick.

She calls me yesterday to see how I am, all I'm thinking is now what, what is it that I have that you need. Remember I took her to the Pink concert, had to pay for her ticket and dinner to only end up with her crap the next day. Anyhow, she has something to tell me..................................... she does the guessing game, as a young person does.

Her: guess
Me: I don't know
Her: guess
Me: What
Her: guess
Me: I don't know, your pregnant, engaged, getting married
Her: yeap
Me: what engaged?
Her: pregnant 8 weeks 3 days

What can I say??? Are you keeping it? What about the new BF, what did he say? What about his parents? What about your mum? (not that she would care another single mum's pension to be rolled out)

It turns out the BF has said if she keeps it they will get married and get their own place (he lives with his parents, good Maltese boy), if she gets rid of it they will go their separate ways (doesn't sound right to me??) His parents are OK about it NOW, bit at first not to darn happy. They apparently really like her at the start. I don't know who they think will pay for the wedding as her mum can't even pay for dinner at a restaurant, even for herself let alone the whole family. I paid for the deb when she lived with me and I ain't paying for the wedding.

So I am feeling really low and sorry for myself. I even went for drinks after work for a friend who is leaving work at TGI Fridays, you know I had 2 Margaritas and 1 non juice type drink plus chicken quesadilla's (not best choice) to drown my sorrows. We have a ball for work this Friday the 3rd of August and I even think I will go to that. I am having an arm wrestle with myself at the moment and the going is winning against the not going side. I don't know but I could do with the good time and wallowing in self pity cocktails.

4 comments:

Kek said...

Sue, life's really unfair sometimes. So many silly young girls who don't even want kids seem to have no trouble popping them out anyway.

I wish I had something comforting or positive to say. :(

*hug*

linda said...

Sue- I really do feel for you but I can only really guess at what is going through you at the moment. The merry go round you're on must be really trying, and I guess you have to take one day at a time. Thinking of you and sending lots of positive thoughts your way.

Livy said...

You poor thing. I'm so sorry you are going through this. Life can throw us some real curly ones, and we just have to solider on. Hope the cocktails made you feel a little better. x

Kristy said...

So sorry to hear your having such a difficult time. It must be really really hard. Go out and have some fun this weekend with some cocktails. It will be nice to go out and forget about things for a while...

I love the mask, you have done really well.

Take care
Kristy