thought it was time for a change

the weather is heating up here so thought my mind set had to change from mellow to bright and cheerful.

Soon it will be Christmas, if you can believe it? I have already started buying gifts, have already gotten allot of the food sorted, will order some chicken pieces and the bread rolls soon.

We have a traditional Christmas feast which means I need to be organised. We have both sides of the family over together which makes for between 15 - 20 people here for lunch.

What is everyone else doing? Do you start getting ready now or is it a mad rush to the end?

I haven't heard from the adoption agency yet, think that it will be on hold, I'm hoping not but what can I do?

We have a long weekend so am going to get stuck into the gardening, especially the back yard, will post some photo's if I actually get anything good done.

Nearly a week

Its been nearly a week since my last counselling session and still no word from the adoption agency about when our assessment will continue. #%$@ It's so frustrating having to wait for someone else. Especially since we should have been going to panel this coming month for approval. I don't know if the assessment is finished and we just have to wait for the report to be written or if there is still sessions to be had. Even if the assessment is done, we have to wait for it to be written up and for ourselves to get a copy to make notes or ask for changes before it even is finished enough to go to panel. With they way the government department works it will take them over a month just to write it up and give us the first draft which means good bye to having a happy Christmas knowing that we are just waiting to be picked. We will have to wait not knowing if and when we are going into the pool of people that can be even looked at for a birth mother.

Like I said, frustrating!

Counselling

I forgot to update that my counselling is all over.

It was actually funny to see the 'team leader' of the adoption area come into the room to advise that we can book the room again to be told by her own counsellor that it would not be required and in actual fact we were about to leave.

It should have been over on Monday last week but as I was really sick I had to postpone to the Friday.

So now just to wait for the report to be written up and hopefully back on track for the assessment to continue but now I wouldn't think that it will be until next year that we go to the panel, I'll be a year older which pisses me off but what can I do?

a joke???

I'm going to post this joke that was emailed to me and I hope I don't offend anyone with it


Childbirth at 65

Too good not to pass on, Enjoy !!!

With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old friend of mine was able to give birth. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, I went to visit.

'May I see the new baby?' I asked

'Not yet,' She said 'I'll make coffee and we can visit for a while first.

'Thirty minutes had passed, and I asked, 'May I see the new baby now?'

'No, not yet,' She said.

After another few minutes had elapsed,I asked again, 'May I see the baby now?'

'No, not yet,' replied my friend.

Growing very impatient, I asked, 'Well, when can I see the baby?'

'WHEN HE CRIES!' she told me.

'WHEN HE CRIES?' I demanded. 'Why do I have to wait until he CRIES?'

'BECAUSE I FORGOT WHERE I PUT HIM, O.K.?!!'

a leaf from

Kek had some nice new shiny things so thought I would take a leaf from her and show my new shiny thing :)We brought a LG Flatron Monitor for the computer because we were using a monstrous clunky old monitor and the new one is fabulously huge at 22 inches. It has such vivid colours and I can now see lots more on Facebook except for Farmville which is another story all together!

I also brought this book, which is very extravagant for me as I normally borrow my books from the library but it was a lazy Sunday trip to Big W when Daz was at work and it happened to ring some bells for me. So anyway, I just sent some time reading it and it makes some sense, except for the bit about me not eating red meat every day and the picture for the minestrone soup that looks more green than tomato red. Its funny because I can actually hear his voice when I was reading it, you know how animated he gets when he talks, that's how I read the book in my head as well. Scary stuff.

So I have to go plant shopping, no for the garden, no, for my food to eat. His theory is to eat 2/3's 'Basic food' which is plant food - vegetables, fruits, nuts, seeds, grains etc, and 1/3 'Bonus foods' which is all other stuff. He also advises that kangaroo meat is very good but still a bit unsure about that little fact. It may be good but don't know if I can get it past my lips.

Has anyone tried it before???

He doesn't follow that GI diet but HI factor, you may ask what is the HI factor? Human Interference. How many times has human touched the food you are about to eat? From picking, peeling, washing, smashing, mashing, frying, you get the picture.

He has 'the rule of 15' which is eating 15 different types of basic foods a day, doesn't have to be the whole piece of food but at least a bite of it. and FP100 which is his fruit platter always in the fridge which is just bite sizes of fruits at hand which can also help you with 'the rule of 15'.

It does make allot of sense but I do like my steak, don't know if I can change it for Kangaroo steaks even though I did see in Safeway/Woolworths last night kangaroo steaks, marinaded kangaroo steaks and marinaded mini kangaroo roast rolls. Why are they marinading it? Does it taste that BAD?

Oh and I forgot to mention, you know how bad I have been with getting work or should I say keeping work of late, I have a second job at Katies! and an interview with the local council again for another job. So at the moment I have 2 jobs and may have to decide which I will keep as my main if the council job comes through for me.

update on the counsellor

Well yesterday I saw the counsellor for nearly 2 hours, she was really nice and I felt bad being short with her on the phone. Before we actually got into the interview we met up in the reception area (she doesn't work at the government department) so we had a chance to talk 'off the record' so to speak so she got to see that I was a normal well adjusted person before the interview actually begun.

After me letting her know how disappointed I was that I was even there for this, we had a chat about what they had concerns about. It turns out that I think she is one my side (famous last words huh??) and she thinks that she only needs to see me one more time and to think about how I handle conflict so that we can talk about that. She believes that I am a well adjusted person who knows how to handle her emotions and keep them in check. She sees that I am a compassionate person and can show empathy, which I already knew of course.

So on the 19th I will see her again and that's it. Hopefully back on track with the assessment.

On a more worrying note, Daz tells me last night that he has had in the back of his mind for a while that if we do have a child, when the child is 5 he will be 50, he's now 45. And when the child is 10 he will be 55. He is worried that he will not be able to do the things he wants with a child like skateboard, ride bikes and so on. I tried to talk to him about it, i.e. so you think that within 5 years you will be old and cripple, could not do not a thing? He 's reply, well no but, I said, how old is your dad? He thinks late 60's, he is still running is own business, active at his holiday home which he is always building things, takes his grand kids with him, he would go go-carting is his butt would fit in a go-cart, he never really did skateboard but he did drag race professionally in Aus and he would again if he had the chance. Yes he had an aneurysm but he got over it and back to work when we thought he would die, if anything he is stronger, he doesn't look his age except for his greying hair which thank God he has stopped dying black.

I think I settled him down, but did advise that he cough badly at night in his sleep which actually lifts him off the pillow so thought he might consider cutting down, especially if he wants to chase his kids and keep up on the skateboard ramp :)

Now kindly Chelle from babybeanmom.blogspot.com has nominated me for an award, which I thank here for so he goes.

Rules

1. You Can Only Use One Word!

2. Pass this along to 6 of your favorite bloggers

3. Alert them that you have given them this award!

4. Have Fun!

The Fun Part

1. Where is your cell phone? bag

2. Your hair? tied

3. Your mother? special

4. Your father? stubborn

5. Your favorite food? mexican

6. Your dream last night? sleepless

7. Your favorite drink? coke

8. Your dream/goal? baby

9. What room are you in? computer

10. Your hobby? knitting

11. Your fear? baby

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? mother

13. Where were you last night? shopping

14. Something that you aren’t? painful

15. Muffins? blueberry

16. Wish list item? carpet

17. Where did you grow up? Australia

18. Last thing you did? supermarket

19. What are you wearing? casual

20. Your TV? off

21. Your pets? many

22. Friends? crazy

23. Your life? simple

24. Your mood? good

25. Missing someone? melissa

26. Vehicle? silver

27. Something you’re not wearing? socks

28. Your favorite store? bunnings

29. Your favorite color? blue

30. When was the last time you laughed? Yesterday

31. Last time you cried? today

32. Your best friend? daz

33. One place that I go to over and over? store

34. One person who emails me regularly? jody

35. Favorite place to eat? anywhere

Recipients:

Mrslala

Mandy

Emma

mks4249

tammy

over the rainbow

batty nurse

Counsellor

Well I heard from the counsellor today. It appears that I couldn't pick someone to use but the government department could, the person of course they choose is not registered on a health insurance #*frustrating*# How can that be, if you are using a reputable counsellor surely she should be registered!

So on Thursday I will be seeing her at the government department which of course has also moved so will have to travel further and apparently there is no parking there so have to find some up back streets. It just keeps getting better, I'll probably end up with a parking fine or something

not around much

I'm sorry I haven't been blogging lately. I think I've been a bit depressed about the whole adoption process.

You see they have 'suspended' our assessment because it seems they don't like it when you have a bad memory. That's not bad memories but a bad memory. I can't tell a 'fluid' history story for them so their answer is to send me to counselling to see if I have any suppressed memories, maybe I was traumatised as a child ad they want to get it out. Or maybe I just have a BAD MEMORY! Also because we had moved away from my dad's family so I don't know allot about them and dad doesn't talk about them and doesn't like to talk about it, it appears to be a problem for me as I don't know enough family history. God this is frustrating. And the last stupid reason for the suspension. Dazza smokes. That's right, he smokes, it appears not the smokers are the minority, although it is legal its still a no no for the 'government' department that does adoption in Australia.

Now I got a call yesterday from the head of the department advising of a counsellor that they want to use but I will have to pay for the session and they will met the cost of the report that will b issued. The cost, $90 per hour. I don't mind the cost really just that I think it will be a waste of time because there is nothing wrong with me. I questioned if I could claim it o my health insurance an the Head almost fell off her seat. Why is that a wrong question, you want me to pay for something that in my opinion is a waste but I am happy to do it if it gets us further in the process, they should be happy that we pay for private health insurance.

I think I left her a bit put off but its my life they are fucking with. They are stopping me form having a family, its not bad enough that God decided that we shouldn't be blessed with babies but now some government department can stop me with these ridiculous reasons. I would understand if they said something about my families criminal connections but they just cal that a 'colourful history' which I have o remind her that it was my families 'colourful history' not mine as I have not taken part in anything criminal or even associated with the part of the family that is in the 'underworld' but again apparently they have shaped me even though I haven't seen them personally since I was a child.So instead of telling them were to go, which I was really tempted to do yesterday, we have decided that we are going to think outside of the box they have put us in and continue with I* V* F as well which is a no no.

Dazza sees to have settled down on the health issues as well, just waiting for the hospital appointments for both operations, maybe before the end of the year but no more attacks of the gallbladder as yet, touch wood.

As for work, I now have 2 jobs, I am working a part time office temp in the freight and transport industry as well as a part time (3 shifts per fortnight) at a ladies fashion retail store. I have never done that before but it should be fun except or the shop lifters...............

not around much

I'm sorry I haven't been blogging lately. I think I've been a bit depressed about the whole adoption process.

You see they have 'suspended' our assessment because it seems they don't like it when you have a bad memory. That's not bad memories but a bad memory. I can't tell a 'fluid' history story for them so their answer is to send me to counselling to see if I have any suppressed memories, maybe I was traumatised as a child ad they want to get it out. Or maybe I just have a BAD MEMORY! Also because we had moved away from my dad's family so I don't know allot about them and dad doesn't talk about them and doesn't like to talk about it, it appears to be a problem for me as I don't know enough family history. God this is frustrating. And the last stupid reason for the suspension. Dazza smokes. That's right, he smokes, it appears not the smokers are the minority, although it is legal its still a no no for the 'government' department that does adoption in Australia.

Now I got a call yesterday from the head of the department advising of a counsellor that they want to use but I will have to pay for the session and they will met the cost of the report that will b issued. The cost, $90 per hour. I don't mind the cost really just that I think it will be a waste of time because there is nothing wrong with me. I questioned if I could claim it o my health insurance an the Head almost fell off her seat. Why is that a wrong question, you want me to pay for something that in my opinion is a waste but I am happy to do it if it gets us further in the process, they should be happy that we pay for private health insurance.

I think I left her a bit put off but its my life they are fucking with. They are stopping me form having a family, its not bad enough that God decided that we shouldn't be blessed with babies but now some government department can stop me with these ridiculous reasons. I would understand if they said something about my families criminal connections but they just cal that a 'colourful history' which I have o remind her that it was my families 'colourful history' not mine as I have not taken part in anything criminal or even associated with the part of the family that is in the 'underworld' but again apparently they have shaped me even though I haven't seen them personally since I was a child.

So instead of telling them were to go, which I was really tempted to do yesterday, we have decided that we are going to think outside of the box they have put us in and continue with I* V* F as well which is a no no.

Dazza sees to have settled down on the health issues as well, just waiting for the hospital appointments for both operations, maybe before the end of the year but no more attacks of the gallbladder as yet, touch wood.

As for work, I now have 2 jobs, I am working a part time office temp in the freight and transport industry as well as a part time (3 shifts per fortnight) at a ladies fashion retail store. I have never done that before but it should be fun except or the shop lifters...............