I think I'm just gunna stop! You know after being sick yet again this week with the dreaded diarrhoea, (yes I did it again!) I have been home again just thinking. I have been told by Dazza many times that I over think every thing. He tells me, just stop thinking about it and just do it.
Today I went back to work, second guessing myself as to whether I was well enough and decided to go, I don't like the thought of people thinking that I'm slacking so I go and in the end, I just end up coming home again. I think to much. I don't call into work because I think that they will not like me. I go to work but think that I can't do this, so feel sorry for myself and get my butt sent home. I sit on the couch and think 'whats wrong with me?' I don't want another job, I do like my job, maybe the thought of having to get the sales is effecting me. I think that I won't get the sales, which makes me come up with excuses, maybe I am just not a 'sales' person. I don't think that they will let me go back to my old position, they have stated this before. But should I try anyway?
Today on the Tyra Show there was a 'diet' war, Dazza told me to turn it over as I am not on a diet anymore, he tells me I think to much about it! I'm sitting here thinking whether I should have soup for tea or wait for Dazza as he would want pizza and I can have a pasta................. to much thinking being had here.
I am going to come up with a new train of thought. I am no longer going to think about whether I am feeling well. I think I will just be. I will tell myself I am always well that way even if I am lying to myself, I will not second guess going to work. I know that second guessing myself is sometimes good especially if I have had diarrhoea all morning but for other times, I'm lying!