Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Warped self image

You know I have come to think about how I see myself of late. I was on the bus the other day and thought, boy at least I'm not that big, I've got nothing to worry about compared to her. But then the realisation that my clothes don't fit anymore makes me wonder. I originally thought, well your top half is small, its just your lower half, tummy, hips, thighs and butt. Then when buying tops that actually fit, I have to buy like an 18 or XXL, I can't make the excuse that they are Asian sizes so I have to buy bigger sizes than I am because its the same when I go into Target and the like. So now I do realise that I am a big girl, no matter how much I don't see it myself until I am naked or when buying clothes, I must come to terms with it or change it.

Dazza saw that I had printed the 12 week body blitz again and stated the obvious 'are you gunna do this again, do we have to take the pictures again?' I know he doesn't like to be blinded or reminded that he is married to this 'thing', I know that he loves me but come on, I don't even want to look at it! I haven't decided that I would do the challenge, I was if at all, going to do it on the side without him knowing, he must get sick of me and this crap that is my weight.

1 comment:

Kek said...

I'm sure Dazza doesn't hate doing your before pics because he thinks you're hideous. More likely, he hates to see the mental anguish that you put yourself through each time....

Set some lifestyle goals and take the focus off weight for a bit....or at least don't make weight loss your ONLY goal. How about starting with a goal like "I will do some kind of exercise 4 days a week"?