results

Results are in, I'll tell you the way it was told to me, it freaked me out at first then I could have slapped the doctor for getting me worked up, surely they know that patients are anxious to find out results.

Doctor - (normal hello greetings) I don't seem to have your films, ahh we discussed you in our meeting - gets up and walks outMe - ??? (shit, what does that mean, shit)

Me - (doctor arrives back empty handed) Surely I'm not that interesting to talk about me in your meeting .................... (hoping for some insight)

Doctor - well there is some results isn't there.............

Me - (shit what does that mean???) oh OK (me thinking great I have cancer and I'm here alone)

Doctor - well the mammogram was normal

Me - good (shit why doesn't he say the mammogram and ultrasound were both normal???)

Doctor - and it seems we got all of the fluid when the biopsy was performed, nothing bad in it, so that's it, won't have to see you again.

Me - that is great, no offence but I hope I never see you again, bye

So you can see that I got a bit nervous with the start, I was his first patient of the day and he didn't even have my films! Didn't explain how or why I got a cyst in nearly 40 years of life. I never thought I would ever have to have a mammogram, my breasts just aren't that big for Gods sake.

its all good

Thanks Tammy for prompting me to update the results from the tests, I'll tell you the way it was told to me, it freaked me out at first then I could have slapped the doctor for getting me worked up, surely they know that patients are anxious to find out results.

Doctor - (normal hello greetings) I don't seem to have your films, ahh we discussed you in our meeting - gets up and walks out

Me - ??? (shit, what does that mean, shit)

Me - (doctor arrives back empty handed) Surely I'm not that interesting to talk about me in your meeting .................... (hoping for some insight)

Doctor - well there is some results isn't there.............

Me - (shit what does that mean???) oh OK (me thinking great I have cancer and I'm here alone)

Doctor - well the mammogram was normal

Me - good (shit why doesn't he say the mammogram and ultrasound were both normal???)

Doctor - and it seems we got all of the fluid when the biopsy was performed, nothing bad in it, so that's it, won't have to see you again.

Me - that is great, no offence but I hope I never see you again, bye

So you can see that I got a bit nervous with the start, I was his first patient of the day and he didn't even have my films! Didn't explain how or why I got a cyst in nearly 40 years of life. I never thought I would ever have to have a mammogram, my breasts just aren't that big for Gods sake.

Either way, I'm glad I'm OK and can go on to live another day. I can't imagine that they would have let us adopt had it been bad news as they wouldn't want to add the stress on us but these powers that be do not know that it would add stress if we couldn't ever think we had the possibility to have a child in our home for our whole life time. That may be selfish but I/we need the love of a child, not to make our relationship to be whole but to enhance what we have and complete our spirit and sole.

craziness

Well its 5am here and I've been up since 3.30am! Hence the title of craziness.

I get my results this morning from the hospital for the 'breast thing', I'm sure it's nothing.

I have decided not to be in denial any longer.

I am turning 40.

That now means I have to grow up and have mammograms and pap smears yearly not just every time the doctor catches me in a lie about when the last one was.

I have also decided that I will not hide the fact that I will be having a birthday on the 10th and instead have a dam party to even celebrate the fact.

It won't be a big shindig but just family and close friends as a Bistro, they have packages for birthdays so its all you can eat of everything you could imagine for like $27.95 each and they even decorate your tables with flowers/balloons and have a birthday cake made for you.

Although I stopped at the decorations that actually said 40, but again I may throw caution to the wind and allow that too.

Well off to the tv to watch some pay tv and see if the Young and The Restless is on.

ok offically crazy

PEOPLE I GOT UP AT 3.30AM!

I woke because of Daz snoring, then started to think about direct debits about to come from our account on Monday and then started to wonder if there was enough money......... a normal person would roll over and deal with it in the morning. NO not me, I have to get up and start obsessing. I thought, no get up, deal with it now and then you can go back to sleep, but here I am reading blogs instead of going back to bed!

Told you NUTS

A breast thing

A little while ago I had a problem with my right boobie, it had a funny sensation that I didn't know what it was and it wouldn't go away. There were no lumps to feel but went to the doctor's anyway for another reason so thought I should mention it. The doctor did an exam and he too could not feel anything. He sent me for an ultrasound all the same which came up with a lump/cyst thing. The doctor thought it was nothing but referred me to the breast clinic at the local hospital. After much amendment to the appointment, I finally got in there this week.

1 mammogram (which was my very first and it hurt!) and 1 ultrasound later, she is still there and the same size. So it was off to have a biopsy.

At least it was a fine needle biopsy, they were going to do a core biopsy with a thicker needle {{gulp}} but after the fine needle they didn't have to, now I just have to wait until next Friday to find out the results from pathology.

I can tell you they left a nice bruise on my boob and it is now sore again but I guess its better to be safe than sorry

The breast thing again

Well I finally got into the breast clinic on Friday, remember I went and found I had that lump/cyst in my right boobie. Well 2 months on and I have been to the clinic to have it checked out to see if it's still there.

1 mammogram (which was my very first and it hurt!) and 1 ultrasound later, she is still there and the same size. So it was off to have a biopsy. At least it was a fine needle biopsy, they were going to do a core biopsy with a thicker needle (gulp) but after the fine needle they didn't have to, now I just have to wait until next Friday to find out the results from pathology.

I can tell you they left a nice bruise on my boob and it is now sore again but I guess its better to be safe than sorry.

I did it and survived

That's right I survived. I rode to and from the station yesterday, the ride home was hard as it was more of the incline but I actually prefer that as I am a little heavy with the brakes going down the decline as I'm scared that I will fall off at a rapid pace.

The funny thing is that when I was leaving I thought "I'll just wear my riding pants under my work skirt and when I get to the station I will take them off". Well when I was ready to leave my neighbour had just come out of her house to walk her dog and she was laughing at me. Now she wasn't laughing at me riding a bike but the fact that I am trying to ride a bike with my work skirt on that of course means I can not even get on the bike as I can't lift my leg without hiking my skirt up to my waist!

Once I am at the station I lock my bike but don't have enough time to take off the bike pants before getting on the train. All is good as I can take them off at work. once back at the station from work, I think, I'll just take off the skirt and wear the riding pants home, embarrassed but at least with ease. No of course not, that would be too easy. Of course at our station the toilets are near the waiting room, which has been closed due to the door having to be fixed on the waiting room. After getting someone from the station's attention, they open it up for me to get changed. How embarrassing to wear ridding pants without something over the top of them, my big fat arse showing to the world.

I'm still riding on the footpath at the moment which I know will have to change but I'm scared that I will be hit by a car as I'm not yet used to looking over my shoulder to check for cars without falling off the bike. The slight incline got me as well but not enough to give up. Although I thought, that's going to hurt in the morning, it really doesn't, my forearms were achy last night which I have to be careful of because of my dicky wrist but after some panadol before bed, they are all fine too.

Me, crazy?

That would be a big fat YES!

Well yesterday I had a brain wave when I missed the train (I walked to the station). The brain wave? What if I rode my bike to the station? This is where the crazy comes in. I txt Daz and ask him to shower some love on my bike. Really it needs a complete overhaul however even then I think its too far gone. Well besides from Daz laughing his arse off at the thought of me riding a bike let alone ride to the station and back got my juices flowing.

By the time I got home Daz told me it was all over for the red bike he brought me about 5 years ago ( and I had only ridden maybe 4 times) but he had been to the bike shop and could get one really cheap. So low and behold, off we trek to the shop and I came home with this............
So today is my first day of riding to the station. Wish me luck.

Bad Blogger

Gosh I really am a bad blogger aren't I? I haven't really been reading any blogs either. I guess it all changed with the loss of TTC, once we decided to adopt, all the excitement of the unexpected, the timing, the peeing on sticks, all of that went out the window and now I have nothing but to wait for someone else to keep my journey going. You lose that identity. I feel like I have no control over how long this process takes, our region is one of the busiest regions and it takes forever to have this process completed or even started for that matter.

Give me some inspiration to keep the momentum up please. At the moment we are just working on the house, completing the painting and we are going to tile the entry way, kitchen, bathrooms and laundry. But that doesn't feel like welcoming a new baby home, another member of our family.

I feel like we are going stale.......................

Melbourne Cup - Tuesday - worse than ever

So you would think that by now the antibiotics would have started to work? NO that would be a big fat NO however now I'm starting to think that it may be more than my sinuses, I'm sneezing, nose is drying out (outside only) and the tightness from my nose is travelling to the top of my lips. Could this actually be the flu? Dazza claimed to have the flu last week or so but I chose to not believe him, HELLO, maybe the one time he wanted to stay home for 3 days he really did have the flu? Its hard to tell because when he gets on a roll of staying home, he is hard to get back to work and stays up half the night playing in the garage. How does one get better doing that I ask?

It also doesn't help that one Master Humphrey (Alaskan malamute) keeps on stealing the boxes of tissues off the bench and destroying them like his worst enemy.

Anywho, I'm sick of being sick, although it has been some weeks in between my last sickness, it pisses me off.

I didn't let it stop me from painting Saturday and I ended up with really sore quads for a couple of days, I guess that happens when you are balancing on the side of the bath with a paint tray in your hand, then proceed to put a chair in the shower where you can hardly turn around and nearly fall through the plate glass getting off said chair with paint tray and brushes in your hands so can not hold onto anything.

I was going to take some photo's but I couldn't get my camera to zoom out far enough to see much. Sorry.

Thats the number of couples in front of Daz and I waiting for a social worker to be assigned to do our assessment for Infant Adoption.

Sinusitis - WHY?????????

I am so over my sinuses, how many times a year can I get it? Maybe there's a challenge in that to see if I can bet this years record? I'm am now on so strong antibiotics so hopefully it will do the trick and get ride of it once and for all.

I haven't been doing much, have just picked up a new book from the library - The Click Diet - will have a read and see if it's for me. It has a 2 week diet in it but as you all know, I'm not great at following set menu plans.

The house is coming along, just brought our Plasma bracket to put the plasma on the wall, its making my side board bow in the middle so the sooner we get that (I brought it on EBay) the better for my side board.

Dazza wants to start tiling the main bathroom however that room is yet to be painted, best I do that room next huh? What do you think, would a feature wall be OK in the bathroom or should I actually paint it a colour. At the moment I am painting everything in 1 colour Dulux Sago which is the darker of these 2 and sago Quarter for the the trim (lighter one).

I'm taking a little inspiration from Kerryn when I see that she is doing a green in the bathrooms, but I have a creamish tile over the vanity, bath and in the shower which I do not plan on removing so maybe I should just stick to my primary colours.

Anyway, I guess none of this is going to be done sitting on my butt ................

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UPDATE:
Presenting Toffee Fingers, also a Dulux colour that I have as a feature wall in the lounge in flat, one thought, well I could use the same colour in the laundry and the bathroom only its in flat which isn't very good in wet area's, that is until I had a brain wave - doesn't happen often and when it does, it often causes me more money than its worth - but in having said that, I called the paint shop and then added another litre to my leftover flat paint in semi gloss and there you have it, a feature wall in the bathroom and laundry and it was only for an extra $20 dollars which is great as the original tin of "once" paint cost a fortune and at least it didn't go to waste. I also got them to take some from the tin before hand so I had touch up paint for the lounge flat plant.