making excuses for this weight. I mentioned the other day that I was doing some reading and it was making me think about the excuses I have used in my life abut my weight. My number 1 excuse is about my infertility, felling sorry for myself as well as knowing that if I lost the weight and I still didn't fall pregnant what else would I be able to blame for my infertility?
But I do not want to be defined as the 'Infertile Woman'. I am more than that, it's just that I have labeled myself that for so long, it is the thing that consumes my thoughts every day, every waking moment, its ingrained into every cell in my body. But how do I stop to save myself?
It's also funny that I know what is right and what is wrong yet I still manage to do the wrong thing by my self each and everyday. I have started to write down my thoughts when I am on the train on my way to work. Yesterday I wrote "I can not control my infertility but I can control my eating and what goes into my mouth and the amount of exercise I do". Then on the way home from work when I had already have a tomato cup of sup and a multi grain sandwich of cheese and salami, I stopped and got curry with rice, then a packet of chips, a picnic and a bottle of coke!! I know that my first food choice wasn't that great but when you only have ten minutes from the second you log your phone off to the moment you have to log back in to take another call, it has to be something that simple. So why do I eat when I am clearly not hungry? I even went to Kmart about 2 hours after the curry, chips and chocolate and had a chicken kebab on the way home with Daz for dinner. I had already had enough food why eat more? Because I like the taste!
I did see a bike at Kmart that I thought could be OK even with my bung wrist as the seat was much lower than the handle bars so I think it would put less pressure on my wrist when I would be riding it. I really couldn't afford it but it was good to see that there are options out there for me.
The count down for the wedding is coming up, brought Daz his new suit yesterday, I swear if I didn't know any better I would think I was married to an Orangutans because his arms are so long. His suit jacket was a size 46 and his pants size 36. Even the guy in the shop said he had unusually long arms. Poor Daz, but he will look really dapper in is new outfit.