its done

I feel like this journey of weight loss is done for me, I haven't followed the plan for a week or so, I get bored easy. I may be wrong and will find out the hard way but unfortunately this week weight gain just put it in my face so the facts are the facts, I suck at weight loss and following plans!

I feel miserable, it is also stress related, the 1 income thing, its getting to me, I'm going to see a financial counsellor on Tuesday, hopefully get my shit under control.

'The Husband' doesn't understand or maybe he is feeling his own stress. He doesn't talk about it at all. He has started to get orders for his business at home, got a deposit cheque but I find that he isn't a finisher. We have one of his jobs in the yard that has been here for months, just waiting to be finished. That's cold hard cash waiting to come in, it could pay some bills and have the phone calls stop for money. But it still sits there because he moves onto something else instead of completing what he has.

OMG, that just sounded like I'm a hypocrite! Here I am saying he doesn't finish anything and I had just said I was done with the plan.

Jesus, I need mental help I think! Maybe the adoption people were right, maybe I am mental?

Either way, that said, The Biggest Loser starts tonight, and I will be watching, hopefully from my treadmill.

Oh weigh in was 198lbs, that's up 2.7 :(

Just when you least expect it ....

Dad goes and has a fit, literally!

It came from nowhere and not showing up on any tests but all that saw it said it looked like a epileptic fit?

So of course I spent a fair bit of last night at the hospital with mum in her wheel chair, dad in a hospital bed and me nearly falling asleep in the chair. He should be home today as long as nothing else shows up in his tests. Its a bastard when something like this happens. You want to know why so that you can fix the problem and keep moving but when nothing shows in the tests, you think good as well but then you don't know what or when the next thing will happen!

Well that's it for me for now, gotta get ready for work. Thank God its Friday today.

Sexy back

Yep that's right, today on Australia Day, I went and got my sexy back.

$78 at the day spa and $30 Target, the sexy is back

(you can use your overactive imaginations)

Now just to put my plans into action tonight.........

I wonder how many calories that will burn?

Its Australia Day today,

so there will be lots of resting and relaxing the best way we know how!

The truth

Well it seems to be getting harder not easier for me. The lack of variety is killing me slowly. I think that I am slowly slipping off the wagon and onto my old habits. The water has slowed, and I'm tired. Absolutely TIRED.

I really feel like slothing around, I don't want to go to work, I just want to lay on the couch and do nothing. This has been in my mind for at least 2 days now.

As its Australia Day tomorrow, my work are having a 'boardshorts' day, were we will dress up today and have a sausage sizzle. I am on the R & R committee, so of course I will be there cooking and helping out, but to then not eat, are you insane? There will be fried onions as well, who could resist fried onions? No human could surely.

So I think I will be in trouble with the grand master of 'the plan' but sometimes I think you have to partake in some small things, tomorrow is another day and all. I know I've had 42 years to have all that food but life is to be enjoyed in moderation and I think I have shown I can do that in these last few weeks. Not saying that my weigh in was great or will be great this week coming but I haven't quit completely ...... YET......

OMG

I'm back from mum's. Bathroom, shower, bath, cleaned, sheets changed on all the beds, beds made, floors vacuumed, mum feed, referee amongst the arguing, and I am pooped. Now to relax back at my own place and contemplate vacuuming my own floor!

Weigh in and more

So today was weigh in for me, 195.3, its down slightly but not as good as last weeks loss. I'm still happy, its moving down, who wouldn't be happy, I only have myself to blame.

I needn't have worried about our outing yesterday, by the time we got moving, we were just go go go, no time for lunch which actually meant that I didn't eat until dinner yesterday at about 8.30pm once I got back home and put away our groceries. Adding a wheel chair to the back of my small hatch back, along with all of the shopping mum and I did was a little crazy, I had to call 'the husband' and ask if he could come and collect our groceries from the shopping centre just in case I couldn't fit it all in.

Went to see 'the niece' who is getting married in April, we had just brought her kitchen tea presents, as she had just gone and picked up her wedding flowers and wanted to show us. (she had silk flowers made which I didn't think would look good but they do) She had also asked me to do a reading at the church ceremony which should be interesting, I am not a public speaker and the thought of doing it is making me a little nervous, but as long as I can practice it long before makes it a little easier.

So whats on for today, well I'm heading back to mum's today, going to dye her hair as well as do a bit of a clean up. The boys did what they could while she was in hospital but its not up to her standard as she is in the wheel chair or using a walker, she really can't get in and clean the shower or the bath, so here I am, getting my cleanliness on.

Dinner Pic's to share

So last night I made homemade pizza, the plan called for cheese only pizza for me, and i know I will probably be in trouble with this one as I did add some green capsicum and some home grown cherry tomatoes but that's all :

My cooked Pizza

'The Husbands' pizza however was a full mishmash of lots of extra's. He really enjoyed his pizza he tells me and mine was good however again I will have to trial bases unless I find the time after work to make my own.

The Husbands, prebaked pizza

The cooking of The Husbands pizza

God the pizza was great, I am so glad that Allan has it on his plan otherwise we would never have ended up making our own.

Weigh in for me tomorrow (I'm 15 hours ahead of you guys)

But first today I will be going out with mum for the first time in ages, and part of it is always eating lunch at the shopping centre..............

Its a nice feeling

It truly does feel good when someone tells you that you have inspired them isn't it?

I have a friend at work you has been listening to me talking about the plan and the fact that we finally put freddie treadie back in his place for me to get physical, physical, I wanna get physical....... anyway, well we both said at the same time "the biggest loser is about to start again so we need to be on our 'treadie' while watching'. Well I said treadie, she was thinking Elliptical Cross Trainer cause she has a bung knee or hip or something. So the friend now wants to do a challenge with said equipment. This should be interesting, not sure what we can do, I thought about the miles completed, she's thinking % weight or something.

Anyway, and then she inspired me, cause I didn't know that she volunteered at a No Kill animal shelter! I love it. I think I wouldn't be able to do it because my heart would break every day but you know what, I think I want to. Its call Pets Haven and isn't too far from me. She stated today she got a call to arms for 50 dogs that they have just rescued from a suspected puppy mill, they are all different types of breeds, and she has decided to take a Saint Bernard, because as she states, no one ever wants the huge dog. She is just fostering it at the moment, but there are many more that need homes. Sadly she told me that there are more that they couldn't save and the RSPCA were going to have to go and euthanize the remaining animals. I can't even imagine the sadness of having to do that but it can't be a barrel of laughs living in the conditions of a puppy mill either.

So other than all the inspiration going around here, the plan as been going well, the appetite is coming back which is good, means that I can follow the plan better. Mum's home from the hospital and things are getting back to normal here, and of course all of the talk at her place about people pulling their weight stopped as soon as she walked back in the door. Geez they make me freakin mad down there, but there really isn't anything I can do about it.

I just breath.....

Quiet over here

So there's not a great deal happening here at the moment which is good.

There are massive clean ups in the flood effected area's. There was something like 22,000 people register to clean up Brisbane alone. They turned up with their buckets and brooms and stood in line to register before being bused off to different suburbs to go into complete strangers homes and help them clean up the mud left from the waters as well as the furniture and the wet plaster. Amazing.

As for me, well I worked some hours on Sunday, which will pay off in my next pay. Yay for me.

Found out I had blown a head light on the buzz box, Boo for me, cost $45 for the replacement globes but it was for 2 not one so I guess that's OK.

I have lost a bit of weight which I am more than pleased about. I did some measurements and found I had lost 2 cms off my thighs each, 2 cms off my stomach as well as my hips, and this is only going into the 3rd week. Happy, yes that is me.

Although the down side of the plan now is that I am not wanting to eat, or should I say, needing to eat. Today I am way down I think on my calories and I've had dinner and don't feel like I need any more for the day. maybe I should exercise more or actually exercise, sorry, confession time. I haven't been exercising at all, except running around work, going directly to the hospital with mum, then back out to home, I leave for work at 7.45am and walk back in most nights at 8.30pm after the hospital which is when I cook dinner and do the dishes. By then its bed time.

Mum comes home from the hospital on Wednesday, 2 more sleeps and then I have my evenings back. I just feel too guilty leaving her in the hospital by herself with no visitors. She is in a room by herself as well which is good in some ways but bad in others. I might even be able to get some overtime in at work and still manage to get home in time to exercise and then dinner. That would be good, so its a plan.

Well off to do the dishes before bed .... Yawn

Weigh In

So its Sunday morning here now, thought I should do the weigh in now instead of being late with a Monday morning weigh in. Am I happy. HELL YEAH

196 pounds, that's a loss this week of 3.5 lbs!

Going to work for a few hours so though I would put in a quick post now. very happy, how will I get this smile off my face???

Horse rescued from Queensland Flood Australia DONATE! 12 Jan 2011

One of the many heros

This man, risked physical harm to rescue this drowning joey from the Queensland floods. If you know anything about Australia, it is to know that these animals really aren't ones for cuddles. They have claws very long and very dangerous to your soft flesh. However this man also risked being arrested for going into the floods waters to save this innocent, drowning joey.

The is one of my hero's.

Check out the video I also posted about a horse rescue.

It is only 3 minutes but while you wait to see if it will be successful it is the longest 3 minutes.

These people, are absolutely my hero's, their selflessness is tremendous and I'm sure allot of people would think foolish but man, they were brave and Thank God they were.

Don't know what day it is

Its some day, a good day, I think.

Today in my own State of Victoria, we also had flooding, not in my home or suburb but close around, there is no danger for me, thank goodness, but I have family in Beaufort in Victoria that has flooding. As soon as I heard this morning I rang my aunt, her phone was engaged. The crazy thought were running through my mind. I got hold of my cousin who lives in Melbourne and she was on the phone with her mother and said she was OK. If anything bad was going to happen she would text me. I called mum at the rehab to tell her, she is mum's only sister. Later that night while I was visiting my mum we were watching the new, there before our eyes we saw my uncles garage .......... flooded. We again tried to call my aunt so mum could talk to her, she wasn't there. We called my cousin again and she said all was still fine for my aunt. Yes the town was flooded but they were at the football club which is being used for the towns people for now. Any more rain and the creek's banks would break and that's when the real problems would begin. So far, so good.

Food, well its going great guns, although I haven't been eating everything, everyday. So what I mean is that I have been eating on plan except I forget to eat so come home with food. I am not replacing these uneaten foods with anything else, just not eating it all. Now this is a huge change from last week when I wanted to eat, well everything plus more.

Tonight I did the pizza thing, better than last week that's for sure, used some old flat things, not pita but things, 'the husband' got a store brought pizza and I added things to it and he LOVED IT, so much so that he is happy for me to continue to 'make' the pizza instead of ordering in. Next time I think I will buy a store brought base for me as well and make individual ones. It was fantastic, thanks Allan for that on the menu.

Well that's it for me, can't weight for weigh in, I think it should be good as long as I'm not holding onto any water.

Double the Style ..........

That's right, today I was awarded the Stylish Blogger Award twice, so does that mean I am doubly stylish??? Brett and Polar's Mom where nice enough to include me in their awards ceremony ...

So what is it I now have to do you may ask??? Of course there will be nominations and of course the speech which includes telling some facts about ME, as well as the formalities of the rules

1. Post and link back to the person who awarded you this award - tick
2. Share 7 things about yourself - tick
3. Award 15 recently discovered great bloggers (or as many as you can) - tick
4. Contact the bloggers and tell them they WON!

So about me .........

1. I never eat mushrooms, NEVER, I don't like the taste, smell or texture, I also lie and tell wait staff I am allergic as does my family and husband.
2. I will do anything, and I mean anything for family, I once nearly quit my job to help my sister in-law cope after losing my brother in-law. (lucky I didn't, she doesn't talk to us anymore anyways)
3. I am a talker, even when I more to another job and think that I will keep my personal life to me, NOPE, can't do, the whole workforce know about my personal problems ;
4. Even though I'm married, I haven't had sex in like FOREVER. Poor 'husband', because of the infertility problems, I can't see the point of it......... sad I know, for 'the husband' anyway
5. I had/have a fear of driving in the rain, wind, bending roads, hills, the list goes on, but I can now drive some of them
6. I am really excited about visiting the US and having my infertility treatment and coming home knocked up
7. I worry that I will end up destitute

Now to nominate my bloggers

Kelly of PoundsforLife

Pam of Plump Nonfiction

Kelly of Life in the Fat Lane

Renea of Renea's Skinny Love

Allan of Almost Gastric Bypass

Sueellen of Trying to Lose

water water water everywhere water

This country is under siege by water!

At the moment obviously it is being reported internationally as well as nationally of the floods in Queensland. It is said that 75% of the State of Queensland is a natural disaster. Let me tell you, Queensland is not a small State.

The water is now also moving north to NSW, they are evacuating there also on the border. And now my very own State (we are in the very smallish State of Victoria) has decided to take on as much water as possible with the massive rain falls expected over the next few days and flooding already occuring in regional centres.

I have been really worried about the animals in all of this floods, last night they placed music to some of the footage which made me cry but to then see cows up to their necks in water, and rapid water it is in Queensland, there was a snake curled up on a fence post and a chicken floating down stream. I can only imagine it is much worse than we see on a small film clip.

Brisbane, Queensland still have yet to have their peak which is expected by 4am tomorrow. The energy companies have turned off allot of the power supplies due to the high voltage power lines which we are now placing under ground in the newer areas.

We have sort of located a friend who is close to the floods, he has his house next door to his elderly parents property in Chuwar not far from Ipswich, their house would more than likely be under water by now. We were able to get a text message through via his stepson, but of course they are all running out of phone charge so that was all we have heard since yesterday.

The company I work for is a national courier company, so we have many colleagues that we would speak to daily that we can't contact, regional depots that are closed. It is just a sad state of affairs. I can't even imagine what will happen with our food prices over the next few month/year, a great deal of our food is grown in Queensland.

God help us all, but it seems he may be the one in control of the rain!

On a happier note: weight is steadily coming down, every morning I have a smile on my face and even after eating and drinking all day, I am happy on the scales. Thanks Allan........

10th Jan. 2011 - Craziness of the floods and still more cities and towns be hit

This is a a whole lot of stories and videos, it is just frightening and to think that there are more towns and major cities that that water will go through before the end. The main city of Brisbane (to imagine Oprah was just there) is under alert at the moment and shops and homes have been advised to leave the area. Airports are closed, roads are washed away, people stand on their homes and they are lucky to be rescued.

I hate to think of the pets and live stock that have been lost in this absolute disaster.

I feel so hopeless for these people, much like when watching the Katrina tragedy and although not the same but the tragedy that was the Twin Towers, just absolute devastation that you can't do anything to help these people and animal. If feels wrong to be worrying about my diet at this time so I won't be mentioning it for a few days but rest assured I am still on plan.

BMI and other Australian news

This morning I decided to look up my current BMI which is 31, the ideal BMI for my height/Age is 19-25, when I look at the higher of the 2 it doesn't seem that far away really, 6 points.


I'm sure that the 6 points are going to be hard worked for, and if I can be better than that, then I will try and achieve this. As of the 1st of May, as long as I stick with 'the plan' my BMI should be 26.3 or there abouts, this will still give me the time I need before the US trip which I am planning at the end of July this year.

The anticipation for the arrival of those numbers are keeping me going that's for sure. Today as I sit here, during my lunch hour, typing this post, I feel really good and feel like I am not as bloated like I have been, my stomach feels a bit flatter which is always a plus. Now if only I could get my legs to skinny up that would be a massive plus.

On another note, something absolutely shocking has happened in the town of Toowoomba in Queensland, the Sunshine State here in Australia. They have just had a massive flood that took everyone by surprise. So far, there is 8 people dead and 72 people missing. Cars have been washed away like toys, smashing into anything and everything in their path. People in their cars, stranded with the water quickly engulfing them.

The story and videos are here. It is really scary to think this could happen anyway at anytime, you are just minding your own business and bang. I just can't understand where all that water comes from, they aren't even close to the beach to think of a tsunami.

So I hope that this post finds anyone who is reading from Toowoomba safe and sound and anyone with friends or relatives near there also safe and sound.

Part 2

So after lunch today I really got stuck into my work and missed my arvo tea break where I was going to eat my yoghurt and strawberries, which I actually didn't mind because every time I go to visit mum in the hospital, its around her dinner time, and even though I would rather eat my own shoe that eat that hospital crap, I tend to get hungry.

So today instead of trying to stop myself eating her lollies or crappy sweet biscuits that come with her cup of tea, I ate my strawberries and yoghurt and it held me over to dinner of steak, rice, beans and carrots (beans were left over from last night) and my left over salad from lunch today. All very satisfying. Although, night time is my worst for snacking and I could snack right now. I can hear 'the husbands' ice cream bowl clacking down in the lounge room so lucky I'm not down there. I haven't yet had my milk today, maybe I could have that glass which will give me a little fill.

The other good news is that mum could be home on the 17th, today week, that is good for me as I won't feel so obligated to visit her every day if she is back home with my dad, my brother and his 3 sons. Plus it would give me some time to do overtime at work $$$$$ plus some early nights home with 'the husband'.

Anywho, can hear the milk calling me........

Start to a new week

So today is the start of another week, the official weigh in brought me 2.2lbs less this week, was thinking I would get something much more but honestly, after what I had done this week with snacking and the mistake with the pizza, I'm just glad I've had a loss.

I have started the day well, had my said waffle, and now lunch, didn't have a roll so had a piece of bread instead. Have my strawberries and yoghurt ready in the fridge for afternoon snack, then home tonight after the hospital visiting mum to have my bite of steak, with rice and carrots.

Must remember to drink all of my fluid, I'm resting at lunch with a Pepsi Max, had 3 coffee's and 500 mls of water, not bad for getting just after 12.52pm with still 3.5 hours of work and another 4-5 hours before bed. I have great plans for this body, and this is all fitting in with my plan as well as Allans.

Well its almost time for me to start working again, so chao for now .........

Horrible sad loss

I can't believe that a couple here in Australia, actually from my own State, although it doesn't matter where they are from could think that this is OK, God only knows what was going through their heads when they decided to terminate their twin boys after undergoing IVF just because they were boys and they had already had 3 boys! I understand that they lost a daughter just after her birth and they appear to want to chase the dream of having a daughter, but to terminate healthy babies, not only after paying a great sum of money for the IVF system, knowing that we do not allow gender selection unless it is for medical reasons, they still went ahead with the IVF option which would have given them a 50/50 chance of a boy or girl. Why not place them for a adoption if they didn't want them, don't just throw them away, like they didn't ever exist. My brain just can not fathom what they have done.

The story from our newspaper is here.

Error in judgement

That's what I call it.

Everything was going so well yesterday, then it was time for the 'cheese only' pizza. Well I thought I would get 'the husband' a standard pizza from the pizza shop and I in my wisdom brought a box pizza from the supermarket, it was thin crust, had cheese, some small amount of tomato and basil. I ate some, it wasn't a huge pizza, considering it was thin crust and had nothing on it, so ate the other half ............... when I was cleaning up I tried to find the calories on the box, there were tucked neatly in a corner on the front. For half the pizza was 441 calories! I ate the lot, that's 882 calories for this paper thin piece of whatever. it wasn't even that filling.

I should have just gotten the WW pizza although it wasn't a 'cheese only' pizza but would have been much less calories and thicker :(

Start pic's a little late

These pictures looked so much better when they were sideways on my camera but I guess this is just where we begin. It looks like I'm already pregnant!

Day 4 and 5 thus far

Sorry I missed day 4 completely but it went well, believe me. They had another food day at work, and although I dutifully brought in my food, I only ate 1 piece of celery and 3 cucumber pieces, no Cheese CC's that were calling me from the other side of the desk or the chippies someone then opened, nope none of that stuff!

Day 5 has started late for me, I actually slept in today, woke at 9.30am, which is amazing for me, tried to stay in bed a bit longer but 'the husband' is outside our bedroom window working on a truck and welding so that was not going to work.

Its hot again here today as it was yesterday but a cool changes should be on its way............

Breakfast is all I have had so far today, I'm not hungry at all which is good and about to start on my water for the day, iced water, just the way I like it.

Although we are dirt poor and I have no money at all, I'm starting to get excited about going to LA in late July, hopefully 'the husband' will come as well but if not I will have to think about taking someone with me, I can't imagine being in a foreign country by myself for a few weeks.

It also dawned on me that I may miss some of our winter here which would be fabulous, so summer her now, some autumn and then head to the US in our winter and your summer, then back here for spring, then summer again, love it!

Anywho, that's it for me for now

Day 3

So today was good, food was good, in the middle of cooking my pasta right now. Am a bit hungry but sorry for TMI but it's TTOM for me so my tummy is pretty sorry and sore for its self.

I haven't been to see mum in a couple of days because I've just felt so darn drained. I feel guilty when I don't go but sometimes I just need to lay on the couch.

Its hot here at the moment at 35 degrees today and 40 expected tomorrow with rain on Saturday of course.

I haven't got much to say, have been to work, its not that bad for the last couple of days but today I was a little quiet so they were worried something was wrong. But alas, nothing that some good pain killers can't fix, maybe some more carbs but they are on the menu tonight anyway.

Tomorrow I have to make a concerted effort to visit the mother in the hospital.

Chao for now ;)

Day 2 - part 2

Today has been really good food wise, fluid wise and even work wise.

I have fixed my lunch for tomorrow, can't wait for breakfast either, 2 small pancakes, please I want them now ...........

If I continue on this way I can't see how I can't lose some weight at weigh in.

I have added a new tab as well to keep a track of my weekly losses, so am optimistic about that.

I got out of a 3 year gym membership that was going to cost me like $1900 dollars for the smaller amount of $207, very happy about that waste of money. I know, its a gym membership and possibly something that us fatties need but a 3 year contract that you can't break is crazy. I may still join a local gym but one with a better contract, if a contract at all. Especially since I do own or am paying off the treadmill I already have and have received a new Xbox for Christmas which I can do exercise with.

I am really jealous of you guys at the moment, it seems that the Biggest Loser is on your screens at the moment, it seems ages since I have seen an American series or even our own Aussie season, although ours may be on its way soon as they keep on advertising 'coming soon'. I freakin love that show, normally on the couch with coke and chips or butter popcorn, but not this year, no sir.

Anyway, think my dinner is cooked, chat later :0

Back again .......

Just nicked down the street to buy my mini pancakes for the morning, some WW ice cream for tonights snack and some 15gram milk chocolate for tomorrow arvo snack and now I want them all, why is that? I normally won't even be bothered with chocolate, the mini pancakes I might go but even the ice cream is normally something that I would normally run to for comfort. It's crazy the way your brain works when you are on a 'plan'..........

Day 2

I'm off to a good start today, I have had all that is on for day 2 food, lunch and snacks are packed for the day ahead, still not looking forward to going back to work today ;( but it has to be done I guess.

I am now the soul bread winner in the family again, 'the husband' wouldn't agree because he is starting/continuing his own business, but until I see the money flowing, I am the only one bringing in a pay cheque.

I have high hopes for the day, except the work part, but all should be good, what's the worst that can happen?

Till later gaters

Day 1 - Part 2

OK, food today was not correct, I'm sorry, I wasn't able to control myself, this is for me not others to bash me or whatever. To be totally honest I did post that I was hungry at 10.53am and it wasn't even lunch time yet. I am disgusted with myself that I couldn't hold out for 1 more hour, I had great intentions of being good, however after posting I walked past the pantry and it called me, it handed me the box of BBQ Shapes, I ate them. I haven't eaten anything since, I thought I had enough calories for lunch and snacks in that box.

I have picked myself back up though, no point killing the rest of the day. I have created the salad bowl, chopped my carrots to boil, boiled the rice and the steak is still defrosting. I will go visit mum first then come home and cook the rest of dinner, then prepare for tomorrow's day at work, make sure there is not an ugly post tomorrow.

Day 1

So yesterday I received my packet from Allan, since I am in another country I had to wait the time zones, so have started today instead of yesterday :(

I must say, its a great start with a waffle which I haven't had in like forever, since living at my mum's and I've been out of home for about 20 years! The only thing I have to ask Allan about is coffee, I love my instant coffee and have many cups per day, I know this will had to the fluid but I do have it with 1 sugar and low fat milk, is he going to shout me down on the coffee? I hope not, I've just had my first cup this morning and am onto the water but I know when 'the husband' gets up, I will want another and then maybe another ..........

Tomorrow I go back to work (yuk) and I am not looking forward to it, I think its because of the new position and I hate that I feel that way. I'm thinking I may have to actually say, hey, this is not for me. I reason why I say that is, I thought it was for me, everyone wants that role, what if later its advertised again and I decide I do want it again, will they look at me differently? I think I am a helper, I love to help the other consultants, have a chat with them, as well as deal with customers, strange I know but I just do. I have never felt like I didn't want to return to my job until now, so that makes me think I must say something.

Anywho, my painting will not get done with me sitting on my backside, so bye for now, will possibly post pic's of my food from today much later. Day 1 on the way and only 117 left :)

Options for the pergola

Realisation

I this morning had a realisation (is that even a word?)

I have read some blogs (like my friend not foe Allan's) who talk about people who have been blogging for years about weight loss and not actually lost any weight.

That's me.

We moved into this house some 8-9 years ago, I met Kek online on a blog, she is now a personal trainer, she lost allot of weight and helped me too. I now realise I weigh more now than I did back then. I got to something like 83 kilos (182 lbs) but now am at 201\202 lbs (91.4/91.8 kilos).

I am a lonely person, maybe I do blog for friendship, I don't think that is that bad, but people who are on a journey whether is be for weight loss or something else (like I also am on a journey to have a baby) must get so frustrated by someone like me, the lack of achievement, not getting anywhere except peddling on the same spot, trying to tell everyone (and myself) that I have peddled for miles.

I want to change my realisation, I will change my realisation. TODAY. (except for this heel split which is killing me)

Once I receive my package from Allan for the new challenge, I will give it my all, to say I have done it, accomplished it, whether it works for me or not, I will have finished something I have started.

All I am saying is ....

pass me another toilet roll and make sure the buckets in front of the toilet when I visit!

why, Why , WHY!

The full length of the pergola isn't clearly shown

but is approx 14.5 metres long, at the very

end is going to be our spa bath and the opposite

end near the BBQ corner will be the Buddha/water feature

Dragon Fly,
a Christmas Present from my sister in-law

There are a total of 3 plants at the moment, not sure
if more will be put in

Centre plant, should grow to approx

2metres tall and a metre wide

The nwe BBQ, cooks beautifully, used for the first time

New Years Eve

I have 2 of these plants, one on either side of the

pink/red one, this should grow to approx

1 metre tall and 1 metre wide